Liftoff From Planet Romeo

Dear HavokSS,

I may come up with scores of excuses for your revival. I was bored, lonely and this difficulty in accepting what I have been reduced to drove me to crash again on the same planet. I wanted to know how I will measure against other men, and see where this searching will lead me. A good lay, I thought, will turn everything okay. Sex heals, and makes people feel better about themselves.

I could have easily followed the same game play. Upload pictures showing liberal exposures of the flesh. Write kinky teasers to call the attention of resident predators. And seal the deal by picking playmates close to my launch pad. 

The planet never runs out of horny men. Sooner or later, I would know that violent impalement.  

And the invitations did trickle in - without me writing the kinky teasers, or even telling a guy that I am courting the idea of sex. I stalled, made excuses, fapped myself to cloud nine as I find the live exercise an utter waste of energy. 

Strange isn't? 

It's been a month since I put up the account. But often, I ask the reason for logging in. If I didn't go online for hook-ups, does it mean I am exploring the possibilities of dating? Nah. I've hardly spoken to anyone, especially after the Collateral Damage made me realize the pains of abandonment. I tried having sensible conversations with a few, but I ended up logging out without even sharing my digits to an acquaintance.

As for hook-ups, have you ever get that feeling of going into a battle and leaving more defeated, instead of basking in lustful glow? Pardon for bringing up some forgotten anecdotes, but I do know someone who's an expert in hit and run. Remember how he deleted those phone numbers, and vowed never to speak to those guys again? Harsh, but that's how he had coped. But there's a catch to such quickies. It distorts one's measure of people. It makes the player anxious for days - if not weeks as he evaluates the possible fall out from each strike. And its exhausting, no matter how rare you find yourself launching an attack.

I no longer wish to be in that state.

And so, we made a decision.

As we ready to be hurled back to outer space, our stay in Planet Romeo did yield not a single eyeball, or a naughty distraction. Sure there were plans, and had there anyone close enough, persistent enough, and tease enough to keep us hooked, maybe I would have capitulated. And with it, we will have to say bye-bye to all the great legacies the past union had brought us.

I do not know the conclusion of this singlehood. Would I end up remaining detached and broken for years? Or would I put my faith to someone and become his reliable wing man? If there is a sliver of light to this interlude - aside from bringing TechHarry to the manifold - I guess you are not as rebellious as you once were. And despite the not-so-close encounters, the use of "pain relievers" and after having to meet again the demon that you have always been,

Deep down we know, we have given hope another shot.

Unfair Assessment

A conversation.

5. Mugen 23. Nov. 2012 - 04:08 by the way, you spoke to the boy?

6. X  23. Nov. 2012 - 04:11 we're friends. do you know him?

7. Mugen 23. Nov. 2012 - 04:13 yeah, I owe him an apology.

8. X 23. Nov. 2012 - 04:14 what for?

9. Mugen 23. Nov. 2012 - 04:15 For suddenly stopped texting.

10. X 23. Nov. 2012 - 04:19 why?

11. Mugen 23. Nov. 2012 - 04:21 He got too close.

12. X 23. Nov. 2012 - 04:22 too close to what? am i to ask you bit by bit about this?

13. Mugen 23. Nov. 2012 - 04:24 fine with me, my worry is I am distracting you. You're looking for hook-ups, I'm just here to watch. :)

14. X 23. Nov. 2012 - 04:29 (laughs) maybe it's best that you stopped contacting him. that guy deserves someone better. you're a kid in a grown-up's body man. grow up

15. Mugen 23. Nov. 2012 - 04:32 That's what I'm telling you. I stopped contacting him without telling my reason. He deserves a little honesty dude and since you're his friend, somehow the message will trickle back to him.

16. Mugen 23. Nov. 2012 - 04:35 I'm logging out. Thanks for listening Ricardo.

17. X 23. Nov. 2012 - 04:36 so you made a fool out of him. that's just great man. tell you what, only a few genuine guys here exist. we are rare. =) you had your chance, and karma is a real bitch you know

18. X 23. Nov. 2012 - 04:39 not talking to you again man. blocked.

Ricardo got me there. Yes, for making a fool out of someone, and for acting like a kid by doing a disappearing act when his friend began texting random stuff - things I don't even care like his whereabouts or the meals he had eaten. 

But more than getting too close for comfort and the emotional hang ups, there are three reasons I decided to make haste and drop the boy. First is because I'm already going out with someone, second is because I can't recognize a friend who looks down on men who act and think less masculine than him and third is because I've never been truthful from the very start.

He was looking for a discreet and straight-acting confidant. And while I can appear more butch than him. I no longer consider myself a resident of the closet. Remembering what he told me about his online pal he "nearly punched" during a meet up for being a faker, I wonder what would my fate be had he known I hug trannies and cross-dressers in gay clubs.

I wasn't able to defend myself, or relay my apologies to the boy. I don't even know how Ricardo could make sweeping judgments when he hardly listened to what I was trying to say.

Deserved or not, there is no doubt that I would be seen in different prism as I continue to stumble between companionship and intimacy. This is just the opening salvo to a saga that has happened long before this journal has been conceived. I would never know how my story book will be read tomorrow - or who I'd end up next. But just to set things straight and bring peace to someone. I'd give the discreet boy some answers and explain my sudden disappearance.

Before I lift off for my journey to outer space.

At the very least he should know: 

I maybe manly and all, but deep down, I'm already proud at heart.        

Noises From The Blue Planet

Headline. n. a 200-character online status which features heavily on dating websites like Planet Romeo. Headlines appear with the profiles of members on the site's search results. Mainly used to draw attention or sum a person's state of mind, (for those who don't bother to read personal descriptions) a sharp observer can sketch impressions simply by reading them.

For those who are good with ice breakers, headlines can sometimes open doors and strip men naked.

Be confident but never cocky. There's a thin line between being confident and being too full of yourself. Always remember that.

Flaunting your looks and intelligence and putting people down never gets you anywhere. A modest, self-assured introduction does. I know it's just a headline, and the kid's profile doesn't tell much. But I was so impressed with his gentle reminder, I left a footprint complementing his words.  

Don't message me if you don't look good, chubby, and ugly!! If you're not aware na pangit at chubby ka, sige lang message ka.. I will let you know... Hahahaha!! bbm?

No wonder, it's always windy in Santa Mesa. What's your storm category dude? 

Looking for smart, good looking like me. No Dramas...

Ayos na sana eh... kung hindi mo lang ginawang example ang sarili mo. Major, major turn off.

Partee boy here invite invite gvgvgvgvgvgvgvggv :)

Too much poppers snorting and pill popping will make your head... airy.

Kung ikaw makakatulong sa akin sa pamasahi ko pauwi jan sa Manila ikaw na maging ka live-in ko d2 pa ako sa Davao sa tita ko add me sa FB ko...

Iahon lang sa pagkalugmok sa probinsya, instaboylet kaagad? Panalo!! Sana lang, marunong ka rin magluto, mag-drive ng sasakyan, magkumpuni ng mga sirang gamit sa bahay at magbantay ng tindahan pag gabi. 

Kailangan namin ng boy.

P.R. is an avenue for SEX, stop pretending that you are here searching for friends and lover. Be true to your intentions! Patulong po makapasok ng work, palakasan ngayon sa pagpasok, kahit maganda record mo but still need somebody whom you know inside. (all caps)

Need I say more? Ikaw mismo contradicts your statement. How will you pass a job interview when your mind doesn't know where it's going? 

Here's my tip: Attend a call center training at TESDA. May ramp-up ang mga BPOs for next month's Holidays.

Wrapping your arms around me makes me feel safe and secure... and kissing gives the feeling that I am yours.. sigh.. how hopeless can I get? can we find love in a hopeless place like this.. sigh... :(

I wish to believe Rihanna speaks the truth. But many times, people confuse love for lust, and attraction for romance. Planet Romeo can be many things: a hook up pool, a well-spring of friendship, a river to taint with conceitedness, an empty lagoon for those searching for lovers. I feel the kid's longing and I do wish him well. But rather voice my desire to find the other, I will let the other find me; learn who I am, not in a place like this.

Looking for someone to spend my life with... and if that someone comes along, my life would be complete...

You're forty. A late-bloomer bachelor in the eyes of those who don't know your preference - if you've managed to hide it from them. Maybe, you're financially stable. Perhaps, you're emotionally mature to accept whatever life throws at you. And with a market on a slump; a sagging skin and deep facial lines to complement the expanding girth of the belly; and a social life that revolves around friends you have known for a lifetime, the only one missing is a devoted partner. Someone you would grow old with.

I still have a decade to waste. But when I read his headline, I let my thoughts float in the air - wishing - for him to find his happiness, wherever he lies.

Try me once u taste u will be hooked like a web of a spider ;)

Anudaw?

Looking for top to top fun.

Oh hello there Jap Nishi. I wonder what top to top fun is. Have you become a versa-in-denial? Lol.

Amusing as it is, you can log in and spend hours reading people's headlines. And upon reading hundreds of them, one can feel the interconnection. That somewhere along, these guys might have sent private messages to one another, spoke briefly on the phone, did quickies, fell in love, fell out of love and moved on. It's like everyone had experienced a trauma or elation, that it changed their view of others - forever. 

As a result, some choose to put walls and push away those who are not to their liking (no effems, skinnies and chubbies please, posers are losers etc.) while others continue to hope of a better story even when disappointments happen again and again. It's the same routine stuck on playback, until such time when it's too difficult to leave - for it's the only place you know to meet and talk to people - like you.

Not for me.

Looking back, the noises go on, even louder in the dead of the night. But when one longs for silence, and prefers deeply detached from others, there is no other way but to lift off and leave the planet, hopefully never to be heard of, or seen again.

Collateral Damage (Finale)

Previously on Souljacker

"So ano ang gagawin mo kapag bigla akong nagtanggal ng damit at tumabi sa iyo?" 

"Yayakapin kita at hahalikan." I sms-ed back. Earlier, the boy asked what I was doing. I said I'm in bed, writing notes on my journal.

"Nice... Palaban ka talaga ha?" 

"Ako pa..." I replied with a naughty emoticon. "Kala mo sa akin, masisindak sa iyo ser?" He went on to create sexy scenes that would make this entry a fitting addition to this cheeky blog.

It was the night after we talked on the phone. Even sunrise had beaten us to sleep as there were so many stories to tell and life to discover. From the time we woke up that weekend afternoon, to the final minutes before midnight as we readied to sleep, we were constantly updating each other about the things we did the whole day. 

I had no idea what he was up to. Maybe he had found a really good company as we both share the same wave length. It was possible too, that after all the excuses, he was hoping I would change my mind and let him into my place. 

What he didn't know is that from the moment he crossed the line and told me some perverse things that made me stiff the first night, he was already being sized up and put to my standard. All the stories he said - from having to endure a two-timer boyfriend for six months - and catching him with another guy at the pad they both shared; to his habit of running away from his eyeballs once they failed his "discreetness" test, to his desire for a simple life, (umiinom ako sa kanto-kanto lang; hindi ako kumakain sa restaurant, namamahalan ako; i don't go to the mall) to the fact that he is in the academe and is still being supported by his parents gave me a rather half-baked but blanket idea of the person I'm dealing with.

It didn't help that his SMS became more frequent after the weekend; his words more thoughtful and sweet when we have yet to meet for a drink.

Cruel as it may sound but I have been there - a long time ago. I met guys who were very sweet in SMS but they turn cold the moment you give in to their desire for an eyeball. One time, I've wasted an entire month getting to know someone, only to find out that our first meeting would be the last as we thought of keeping our options open. 

Expectation, when laced with attachment hurt. It destroys a rather good friendship when two people aren't mature enough to accept that real-life arrangement won't work. For this reason, I have learned: You never show strong interest to people you haven't met; chill lang, or you end up biting the dust long before you're able to scratch the surface and know, if your misplaced emotions should be there.

I would never deny my fault. That I sold my narrative very well that it got another person hooked. I revealed my delicate side in a place created for the purpose of getting laid. And when I let myself step over the periphery - when I have no intention of laying claim to the new territories - I was quick to run away when I sensed ties growing complicated.

Somehow it hurts when others have to pay the price for me to know where I stand.

"Kain tayo bro." No reply.

"Kamusta na pare?" No reply, still.

"Tol?" A frowning emoticon and still no reply. It will be his last sms to me.

All it took was three days for me to figure it won't work. And what's sad is that I haven't given him a chance even to explore the corners of friendship that I promised.

But when the heart and mind are torn apart, and a revolution rages within your badly divided self, sometimes the best course of action is to shun people out.

For when the baggage becomes too heavy, even when there is someone - willing - to carry them for you, most likely, you will never see the person's value.

Until you look at them at a hindsight.

I may never know how sincere the boy was or how betrayed he must have felt after I stopped texting. But when I sought within for a resolution, the untroubled voices resoundingly agreed to keep him out of trouble.

"Better for him to become a collateral," the self said. "Rather than receive a direct hit in a personal strife he has, and will never have a part.

Collateral Damage (Second Part)

Previously on Souljacker

The intense glow of city lights faded as the night passed into daylight. But the early morning lull didn't stop me and the boy from learning the lives we lead behind the skin full and teasing profiles on Romeo's world.

He was five years my junior. An only child, who pursued another shot at the academe to chase his dream of becoming a doctor. Wounded, he too was a returning pupil on Romeo's world.

The boy asked the reason for my existence. I truthfully answered that I don't know what I'm doing on the planet. Sure, I was horny. To a point maybe, I was inflating my ego. But I guess I'm as lost as the last time HavokSSR made planet fall.

"It's either I had the drill." I wrote. "That the pain and the memory will linger for another three months." He knew I just came from a break-up.

"Or puwede rin naman siguro na mawala ako dahil nakaya ko pa rin mag-intay at magtino." It was the first time I showed a hint of humanity after provoking so many men to bite my bait.

Between sharing our personal legends, were the naughty interludes, which kept our boners stiff. Twice, I asked if he would like to get off by juvenile means. Said he doesn't do phone sex, and preferred having the real thing.



It would have been amazing to see who blinks first, as no one likes to offer his place.

"May mga tao dito... sa inyo na lang." I said.

"Kung puwede nga lang. Kaso sa dorm ako nakatira." His lack of cooperation leaves us back to telling each other more stories.

Looking back, had he offered his place, I do not know if I will accept his invitation or not. It was far easier to sneak out than let another person into my home. But in doing so, I would have lost my wager and would have walked out with a broken heart. For somewhere among the stars, maybe, someone else might be waiting for a change of heart.

It just so happened that I let the inner strife consume me.

And there's no way of going back had I chose to get burned.



As his frustrations grew, I was short of giving in to temptation. The scorpions had stung me for the second night and our lives won't wait for a chance to arrange another match. Knowing that work will keep me busy for the rest of the week, and the winds of change is as erratic as my state of mind, a plan has been hatched to get what we both want.

"You can always say that a friend got locked outside his dorm." I heard my bedroom voice speaking. It was just me and my mom and a couple of helpers left in the house.

"But you know, he will have to leave when the fun is over." God, why do I have to over-think when libog and emotions come in-between.

Listening to the voice of restraint, I gave my digits not for us to meet. But to talk some more and assure him that I'm real. Because even when we don't find ourselves in the same bed, and we manage to keep our ties intact even when the trash talk had already blurred the lines of friendship. At the end of the night, I wish to know another person.

Someone, whose point of view that might help me get along as my life stumbles into its new spot.

Receiving a text message to confirm that he got my number. I pressed the headset against my ears. Hearing his voice for the first time, we end up talking until sunrise.


-tobecontinued-

Collateral Damage (First Part)

He could have been someone worth knowing. A friend, a confidant, a regular drinking buddy that I could one day introduce to the Encantos. Ours is a story like no other, even when our narrative ran like everyone's gay tale.

A week ago, Mugen decides to once again taunt the self who still holds control of the body. One click of the mouse button, while floating above the blue skies of Planet Romeo, and there goes his profile, stripping in front of me.

Two things immediately caught my attention. His self-assured charm and his big... ego. I'm always a sucker for someone who dominates. For deep down, the cocky in me is searching for a counterpart.

It was never my intention to fish for I was very confident to receive an inquiry from others. So I checked his profile once again, only to learn that he had also checked mine. It went on for a couple more times, but neither made the attempt to break the ice. When I knew that he wouldn't make a move, and that he was waiting for me to take action, I hit him with a vague question hoping to get a response. 

"What alternative songs do you play?" I asked.

"One Republic, Dishwalla." I forgot the third band he mentioned. 

In response, I sent him the first two lines of the song Every Little Thing.

"Let me in, to see you in the morning light." He replied with a grinning emoticon.

From there we found anchorage. A hook that would sink even when I was busy setting meet-ups I would never take seriously. Music became our common ground as I sent him dozens of YouTube videos of the songs that break my heart. I was so at ease with our platonic arrangement that even when the scorpions stung, and I was edging on my seat for some action, I never bothered dropping reference to his huge... smile. 

I cannot afford to take our friendship into realms I never wish to be our destination.

Unless it was he who picked up the fight.

"Nice! ako naman walang time mag gym! Hahaha i pump my muscles when i jack off yun lang. Sure sure pare. Anyway kailangang nakatalikod sa litrato? Hehe" 

Of course, I knew where he was getting at. We were talking about one's fitness activity when he segued into something that I could use to ignite the fire. And with one provocative reply, I crossed the line and put our ties into zones we can no longer escape.

"Tagal ng pic yan. Trip mo?" It was calculated answer.

"Yeah i think it's hot. actually tinigasan ako senxa pare" 

From there, it was already easy to play the mischievous game.

-tobecontinued-

Sentry Post

My sister and her family, including my two young nephews spent the long weekend with the in-laws. If not for the maid, the lesbian driver and her trusted assistant, the occupants of the house would just be me and my mother.

Many things could happen when there are few people at home. I can sneak out at the middle of the night - like I used to - and find myself in some other's bed, or at the heart of the dance floor in Malate. I could also bring a "friend" in for a sleep over, like I did in the past. Of course, sleep happens when playtime is over.

What happened last week was a face-off - between my uptight self and my lustful nature. I won't deny its presence now the it can overwhelm me. The playground was Planet Romeo. A place I should have abandoned last week. But when the itch is too strong, and the skin-baring pictures command a sizable attention, the line demarcating a tease and a plunge becomes so blurred, you get sucked inside your own vortex.

"You have a place?"

"Wala nga eh, baka puwede sa inyo."

"Labo pre, may mga kasama ako dito."

"Sayang, gusto pa naman kita."

"Ako rin, Iniimagine ko pa lang ang gagawin natin, tinitigasan na ako."

What he didn't know is that I am dropping the bait without pulling the hook. Hell, I have no plans for a meet-up - not unless someone's place is walking distance away from mine. But proximity is still under consideration. I turned down a threesome when it was even just 600 feet from home. 

The reason?  

The guy's graphic description was enough to make me cum. Why go to the trouble of getting impaled - for real - when my right hand can do the job very well. Not only am I spared from the guilt of wasting; to afford myself a consummated encounter might be worth the wait. 

I am in for the long haul.

But there is a limit to one's provocation - as I learned as hours passed, and the longer you hold back the frenzy, the more it gets into your head.

As daybreak approaches, I was already openly expressive of my need. I pulled every trick in the book; every titillating words I learned from my long years of reading erotic stories, just to keep the other's attention from waning. But time is running out. The ones who were on the prowl had already gratified themselves. In my desperation; for letting myself get fucked by my own perversion, I would have given in to a real encounter, except there was none nearby.

"You want me to take a cab going to your place at the Fort?"

"Yeah, masasarapan ka naman sa gagawin natin eh."

"But that's one hour from my place."

"Intayin kita, sige na punta ka na."

"And then you expect me to take a cab back after we're done?"

"Sige na.... please."

"Sa taxi pa lang magjajakol na ako." 

There were others, like the one near Betty Go Belmonte LRT Station. He claimed that he hasn't touched himself for a week, and that the mere revelation of my red lips had him a boner. I could have asked for his cock pic, but he had none. Another had a place not far from mine. But to get there, I still have to walk twenty minutes, across unlit and deserted roads, when all it takes to use my imagination is five. From my near-joy experiences with these men, I learned that it's very difficult to think correctly when one is extremely horny.

The biggest challenge came the night after. When I logged on at Planet Romeo to once again challenge my order. A friendly conversation with a constant chat mate turned provocative when he slipped "loaded" words that caught my fancy. Unlike with the ones I spoke the morning earlier, this guy and I had chemistry. I was ready to conceal my interest to foster platonic ties when it was he who pick up the fight.

"Punta ako diyan, I'll cuddle you all night long." He said.

"And then I'll slide my dick inside yours. You like it right?" 

"And then I'll kiss you some more and stay there while we listen to your alternative music." 

"Please let me stay there with you." 

Shit ang sarap sana. But I know that libog can make someone say the sweetest words to get what the person wants. 

I could have told my mom that a "friend" got locked at his dorm and he has no place to stay. Mother would have said yes, since everyone I bring home is a "friend" of my friend - if not a colleague at some "raket." But by then, I thought of her as she slept soundly in the master's bedroom. 

Would I risk her peace by letting a stranger in?

Would I violate my own accord of holding the fort while my sister is away? 

I stayed home during the long weekend so that someone will watch over my mother. Lust aside, what I can only admit now is that the night-long exposure on the planet had some deeper purpose - to keep myself awake and distracted as I perform my lonely vigil.

I could have spared so many, from the false notion of sluttiness. Not far from home, someone could have stayed over, and perhaps, look after me instead.

But I chose to dance alone.

The ancient entries refer to the episodes as the Scorpion Nights. It is when I drop the layers of pretension and give in to my perversion. 

The last few nights have revealed that the scorpions have returned. Raw, potent and biting as they have been; disarmed only by noble choices that often come between the urge and restraint.

My mom slept soundly for three nights, while I eased my convulsions by whacking myself at someone's expense. Now that my sister has returned, and the bundles of joy have brought sunshine back to our home, I can slide once again into my dream-states, knowing with all certainty that despite the sad upheavals, the stinging arachnids and fiery rebellions within,

Securing the fractured order hints a subtle longing to wait for whoever - rightfully - will come.

Shades of Lust

I was waiting for a new-found friend to go online - there - when a kid sent me a private message.

"Where in Santa Mesa?"

A polite question required a polite answer.

"Near Altura. Ikaw?"

He gave his location and because of the affable tone of our exchange, the conversation went on. We traded face pictures, asked what we're doing on Romeo's World (said I was listening to my mp3s at the moment) and when he dropped the "H" word, a grin on my face tells we're approaching a steep slope.

Because I find his pictures attractive.

"Up for some rough action?'

"Define rough action?" I asked, sheepishly.

"Kantot halimaw? Haha sorry to use such term."

His suggestion presented a huge dilemma. I may not be under a lustful spell yet, but the images wrapped inside those two delicious words were not easy to block. In my head flashed various scenes of perversion and I have no means to mount a defense. He stays near my place, and he lives alone. I could say yes to his invitation, and get the deed done without hesitation. After all, I may have tons of sugarcoated reasons for my return to PR. But it all boils down to that one truth I no longer deny.

Libog.

But to do so would mean giving up on so many things - a chance to make friends, no matter how impossible it is to find one - there; a chance at letting a new person come into my life - for even when the odds against him are so high, a mindless fuck on a rainy evening will impale my desire to embrace commitment. And finally, a resounding yes means returning home limping, for I have once again sunk back to the pit. I have already roused my other self, whose claim to fame in the past aside from teasing everyone is surviving the places I find myself in.

Like Planet Romeo.

Feeling the rush of blood on my disko stik, I let him do the talking. While I self indulged my way to finding a one-sided settlement.

"Masarap yun. You kiss pare?"

"Not much, do you?"

"Turns me on actually. Malaki ba yan?"

"5'6 - 6" lang, proportion with length."

"It's been a while since I did this."

"Honga, so anong plano mo, are you open to 3way?"

"3sum? So what will be our arrangement?"

The last time I found myself there, I was offered the same kinky proposal: a three-way match I've been chasing: a role I have been lusting for a long, long time. Wimp as I am, retreating just when the other party decides to seal the deal has always been my answer.

I'm holding back, still. And I don't know the reasons why.

"Yung barkada ko top rin, he's looking for someone we could fuck. I'm good with sucking."

"He's with you?" A soft whimper could be heard across my room.

"Yup, kasama ko siya right now. game ka? medyo XL siya."

By then, my right hand had found a crafty resolution. There's no need to set free my raging demons to meet the horny bastards.

Using a dirty rug, I wiped the evidence between the gaps of my fingers. Their up-sells no longer matter. Challenged but undefeated. Sensual, yet still in control. Relieved that my carnal meltdown didn't happen, I logged out of Planet Romeo, assured that the dance of the scorpions will end without me picking up a fight.

Dry Run

All this has happened before. It will happen again.


Book of Phythia,
Battlestar Galactica

A Peek Into The Dark Ages

They say you never trust people in robes.


Guys4Men

January 16, 2008

Boy: would it be alright to bookmark you so...

....So that even in this dark and forsaken place, I would still be reminded that there is light?

Minister: Tell me so I can pray with u or for u ...

Miy problems is worth half a million > how much is yours. Im not loosing hope.

God is good to me all the time.

Boy: Nothing really that big. I'm just trying to contain my urges. :)

Thanks for replying. It really means a lot.

Minister: Why dont u jack off or look for someone to jack u off. dont control your murges, let go to the one u love...

Boy: I'd try that. Maybe its my exposure here that's driving me this way.

Minister: Exposure to way ang edad mo ay eded ng malilibog dats why u need a lover or partner to fool arouid.

Minister: There is nothing wrong with having a release with another consenting adult.

Boy: It's like this. Something inside me wants to compete in those sex forums. But when I get rejected, an urge to fight back takes over me. It's like an endless cycle - me looking for approval. What's worse is that what I'm just seeking is an approval; that I could not accept being rejected.

I know everyone gets one. Maybe I don't get it yet. Somehow your presence enabled me to break the cycle.

Boy: I know. I just think that i'm too sexual that's why I'm concerned. :)

Minister: With my age, I had a thousand rejections. Rejection is normal. If we are rejcted, by some one then lets move on.

50% of the guys in the sex forum are just fooling around.Pagdi mo kilala ang tao di ka dapat mag seb kasi u either get held up or hold up or std or hiv....

So be cool and take rejection with a good laugh

Boy: that's what i'm trying to learn.

Thank you very much for listening. Next time we see each other. I will make sure i'm in a better standing than it is today.

God bless po.

Minister: are u a virgin in sexual matters ?

Boy: nope. thats what i'm afraid of. If I'd unleash myself right now, I'd released the sexual side of me.

Minister: hahahahahahaha.

Hindi naman ganyan. I can teach u one by one if u like.

Its not that serious. Ur standards and moiral values with still control u.

my number 09164xxxxx. im glove unlitixt so pwede tau text if globe ka na. My nephew will use the pc. text ka pa glove ka. keep in touch.

U sound delicious, In my 55 years never had a virgin in my entire life.

God bless,

Boy: Thanks. Take care and god bless. My shift is over. See you again here.

Minister: I will be your sex slave. hehehehehehe

Message Exchange Terminated.

Remnants Of A Supernova

After Canonista


If your panels break
And your signals stop
And you hover not
My flares will burn you,
eat you up
Swallowing your
disintegration
For an eternity of migration
Become a part of my
eternal salvation
What remains of us
will travel forever
In light years to
remember.




Planet Romeo
Summer 2010


The purpose of the expedition was to search for hook-ups. Mirc has become a world too small, a spread out was required. Scout infiltration proved successful. Just hours after the account went online, the profile Havok scored victory with a neighborhood hunk. Days passed and meet-ups became a regular activity. Though meetings were of a "friendly" kind, near-misses were apparent. Bed wars never happened simply because nobody wanted to be blamed for starting out a "fight."

After a discovery lead him to nearly cross a professor in college, Havok decided to turn his presence in the website into a learning pursuit. It became a study in human psychology and gay sociology while keeping his very naughty personality. Disastrous romantic endeavors taught him to keep check his emotions, since Mugen has a tendency to get attached. In the end, he tried his best to suppress his ability to feel.

Realizing that he lost track of his main purpose, (For love was too elusive, while getting a fuck might be a costly transgression) he began a hasty retreat from the website. Abandoning all connections, he has managed to save one:

The person he finds too valuable to be left behind.

Close ties keep them in constant contact. And while face to face meet up remains an ambitious plan, their blog and facebook links keep them updated with each others' lives.



Remember what I told you about keeping your poems?
Now that my old phone's inbox messages are to be deleted,
I'm posting what I chose to be the best of them.

Planet Romeo

The choice was between a quick trip to a bathouse and a creation of an online account in a gay dating website.

Those were the two options left after a friendly eyeball bore nothing save for three hours of fruitless chatter with an ageist guy who is about to work abroad. I have no complaints about the meet-up. The guy was decent and friendly, and if not for showing blatant interest in using me to make contact with other gay men, I would keep our ties and consider him a friend.

But users are not worth my time.

So after meeting the guy in Buendia, I found myself in Malate searching for hook-ups in MIRC. It was a weekend evening and work between playtime didn't bother me at all. I have already spent weeks declining SEB invitations and I was not certain how long I could hold my junior back.

But the mind has its way of repressing the senses. I was just two blocks away from Epitome - a bath house I once explored. Being familiar with the place, returning there would be a breeze. All I have to do was to sign up for membership and I could prowl its unlit corridors like I did once.

The skin aches to feel, yet it desires something lasting - something it can get used to as the days march into weeks. Going to Epitome and making warm bodily contacts was easy, but quickies will never satisfy the need.

I heard of a place where men of my kind congregate. They call it Planet Romeo. You would find them there in many different mutations and longings. Some seek companionship, while others are mostly for the trip. I once turned my back from that realm but with personal troubles trying to overwhelm me, (the uneasy peace between siblings is being shaken by her continuous disrespect of my earthly possessions, secret fall-outs in the workplace and the lack of will to seek employment elsewhere, the question of why I cannot form affectionate bonds that last, and the apparent lack of direction the way my life is going) the stand-off was wearing me down.

Any kind of distraction or self-imagined affection are welcome.

Planet Romeo offers a choice to stall lustful goals until you get to know a person down to his soul. Unlike in Epitome where random orgasmic encounters are certain. You walk into the abyss. Trade glances with a stranger and off you go to the netherworld where every act of breeding brings only wanton delights. And then there is amnesia. You try to forget everything. You erase the memory of the guy who slurped your prick or shoved his tongue inside your ass. You second-guess the predicament - the "what-ifs" emerge - and for all the trouble and bliss that happened inside the bath house, the consequence leaves you back to where you started.

So it was decided that I will create an online account. The goal primarily is to explore a world where I could get to know people without crossing lines - in a sexual sense of the word. But as the rest of the blog world knows, I got hooked less than five hours after my account went online. I also got to know a guy who turns to be a professor back in college. Had I taken him for a ride, and my naked presence received, the social experiments would have been abandoned. In its place are the titillating recount of my trysts with random guys instead.

The steamy encounters never happened - except for the dry run which I could play back in my head. There were two drinking sessions. The first one ended in a walk-out after the guy refused a kiss, the other led to the discovery of Gilbey's Premium Strength. The alcohol now replaces my weekly fix consisting of beer after learning that it could hit me with just two bottles.

The social experiments revealed the analytical side of me. I have learned a lot from my interaction and saw how values have changed from the very first time I created an online gay account. I have turned into a bitch (and swung my imaginary axe over jejemons and those who don't read profiles), bruised a lot of egos, and was disarmed by a guy I thought could be the one.

The shards from his shattered glass still remains embedded under my skin.

And I am learning from it.


I am learning from it.


Two weeks into the world of Romeo and I am set to leave orbit. I have no reason to stay nor I am wanting to remain for beliefs I once held. Four casual meet-ups, dozens of sexual invitations and more than a thousand profile views produced nothing.

Upon my departure, the name HavokSSR would be remembered as an ass - not only to the pretentious and illiterate, but to the straight-acting men who believe the world revolves around them. He will also be remembered for being kind to the transgendered, effeminate men who make sense and even to a person living with HIV. He has been encouraging to them, replied with much enthusiasm during their correspondence, and left words full of acceptance

and friendship.

Hoping that whatever pain he brought and whatever bruise he suffered will be atoned in the end.



It used to be a fantasy to be pitted against two manly tops.
A skirmish I wouldn't say no for an answer if and ever an opportunity came.


But I have already outgrown my childhood's twisted dream
and I know, fate is challenging my resolve now that I'm free.
Into the few hours of SSR's last breathe
came the very tempting invitation.

Photos were exchanged;
place was already set.
And just when he is about to give his number;
just when there is a chance to receive Havok's parting gift.





A press of a button
and the Planet Romeo Account is no more.

One For The Road

There is method to madness and I am just as twisted as everyone else. Now that I will fade away claiming a certain bittersweet victory, let me shake their world once more before I set sail and return to the heavens.

Warning: Words not suitable for boys 21 years old and up.

-

1. ssr 08. Jun. 2010 - 01:12
I love you!

2. confucius 08. Jun. 2010 - 01:13
huh


wazzup>
wat u up to?

3. ssr 08. Jun. 2010 - 01:15
nothing. just wanted to say I love you. Ayos ba?

4. confucius 08. Jun. 2010 - 01:15
cool


got face pics/

5. ssr 08. Jun. 2010 - 01:17
say you love me first, i'll show you after.

6. confucius 08. Jun. 2010 - 01:18
i love yu too mwah mwah

7. confucius 08. Jun. 2010 - 01:22
?

8. confucius 08. Jun. 2010 - 01:30
?

lokohana ba to tol?


Hindi pa ba obvious?

-

1. massage_sarap7 08. Jun. 2010 - 00:59
Sir magpapamasahe po b kayo?txt u po me at 09053755300

my pic escorts g4m massage_sarap6 or


manjam pic massagesarap6.5

2. ssr 08. Jun. 2010 - 01:01
hindi ko gusto massage pare. kantot gusto ko. thanks for the offer. :)

3. massage_sarap7 08. Jun. 2010 - 01:03
1k

4. ssr 08. Jun. 2010 - 01:05
makukuha ko naman ng libre eh. bakit kelangan ko pa magbayad.

5. massage_sarap7 08. Jun. 2010 - 01:07
k

6. ssr 08. Jun. 2010 - 01:08
Bareback mo ako. okay sakin 1K.

7. massage_sarap7 08. Jun. 2010 - 01:10
anu un sir

8. ssr 08. Jun. 2010 - 01:11
kantutan na walang condom. ayos lang ba?

9. massage_sarap7 08. Jun. 2010 - 01:13
di po takot po ako.ganu po sir.wagna po

10. ssr 08. Jun. 2010 - 01:14
sige na. malinis naman ako eh.

11. massage_sarap7 08. Jun. 2010 - 01:18
di po wag nalang po sir.gamit tayo para walang sisihan sir

I'm impressed!

-

1. anton09 08. Jun. 2010 - 12:40
what's up?

wanna have fun? got place? reach me at 09168764211 09218844211.

2. ssr 08. Jun. 2010 - 12:41
ganda nung kasama mo pre. tranny ba siya?

3. anton0909 08. Jun. 2010 - 12:43
no. she's agirl actually. so, wanna have fun?

4. ssr 08. Jun. 2010 - 12:43
mukha kasi siyang tranny eh. sayang gusto ko pa naman siya.

Someone's ego got busted. Sorry. Just tripping around.

-

1. drill 08. Jun. 2010 - 12:26
hi

2. ssr 08. Jun. 2010 - 12:28
nice name. magaling ka ba sa kama?

3. drill 08. Jun. 2010 - 12:29
uu top me ikaw

4. ssr 08. Jun. 2010 - 12:36
top rin. puwede kaya ako ang mag-drill sayo?

5. drill 08. Jun. 2010 - 12:36
hindi me nag papa drill suck na lang

6. ssr 08. Jun. 2010 - 12:38
suck mo ako? kaya mo ba 7 inches?

7. drill 08. Jun. 2010 - 12:39
ou place ka wer in sampaloc?

8. ssr 08. Jun. 2010 - 12:39
sa may dimasalang. nakatira ako dun sa bridge.

9. drill 08. Jun. 2010 - 12:40
ok

10. ssr 08. Jun. 2010 - 12:42
wanna cum to my place?

11. drill 08. Jun. 2010 - 12:43
sunduin mko espana

12. ssr 08. Jun. 2010 - 12:43
san sa espana? may car ako.

13. drill 08. Jun. 2010 - 12:44
face pic naman jan pls face pic muna

14. ssr 08. Jun. 2010 - 12:46
don't worry dude, gwapo ako. Ano? Game?

15. drill 08. Jun. 2010 - 12:46
xempre i need to see you face pic ...

16. drill 08. Jun. 2010 - 12:47
Game naman ako pero xempre pic naman muna pls

17. ssr 08. Jun. 2010 - 12:48
mas gwapo ako sayo don't worry. wala akong face pic dito. Hirap na, baka may makakilala.

18. drill 08. Jun. 2010 - 12:49
kahit face book sana para game na...

19. ssr 08. Jun. 2010 - 12:50
hindi ko puwede ibigay yun. nandun buong pangalan ko eh. Ano, trip mo ba o hindi? Kasi dami nagooffer sakin ng place.

20. drill 08. Jun. 2010 - 12:55
cge wag po muna takot ako sa wala pong picv sori po huhuhu

21. ssr 08. Jun. 2010 - 12:57
ok. you're not that cute anyway.

Bitter amp.

-

texter: Ano nga pala height at weight mo? Stats mo pla ksi ang dami ko ksing bnasang profile di ko na matandaan yung sau...

ssr: 5'9 165 lbs

strike one: pay attention to the person you speak to.

texter: Matangkad ka pala. 5'5 lng ako, 130 lbs hehe. Ikaw ata ang Daddy.. Hahaha

ssr: Dominant ka naman.

texter: Ayoko na sau. Di tau bagay... 5'7 nga lang gus2 ko eh.

strike two: I didn't say anything when I saw your face and found your looks below average. What I wanted was your friendship.
ssr: Aw sige.

texter: Tropang textmate na lang tayo.

In the first place, it wasn't me who revealed his inner motives. What's more strange is that it wasn't your prick I first noticed when I viewed your profile, it was the photo of Orion's Belt you included in your profile that caught my attention.


No effort to text back was undertaken.

The Beautiful Letdown

The Social Experiments are now complete. One last eyeball and I'd begin the countdown to the deletion of my Planet Romeo account.

A Social Experiment Pt. 4
May 28, 2010

-

Sabi niya sa text message na pink blouse at blue skirt ang kanyang suot. Adik talaga ang ka-meet up ko ngunit hindi ako nagpatalo. Reply ko naman na naka backless serpentine gown ako na may fuchsia Kashmir sa leeg. First time namin manood ng movie na magkasama kaya imagine na lang kung totoo talaga ang mga get-up namin. One-way talaga ang kalalabasan. Usapan ay walang palitan ng face-pic habang magkausap sa Planet Romeo bago magkita, kaya't laking gulat ko nang malaman na yung morenong bansot subalit balingkinitan ang katawan na nagtetext malapit sa railings na katapat ng mga sinehan ang akin palang katagpo.

Habang nagde-decide ng movie na papanoorin, sabi ko na mag Shrek Forever After na lang kami. Gusto ko kasing matawa at the same time ay para maging relax ang mood ko habang may kasama. Hindi naman ako nahirapang kumbinsihin ang ka-eyeball ko. Gusto daw niya ng something light sa halip na manood ng Robin Hood at Prince of Persia na medyo seryoso ang tema.

Umupo kami sa pinakataas na row ng movie theater sa kadahilanang hindi ko na kinulayan pa. Nakakahiya rin kasi dahil libre niya ang ticket at wala namang flirty talk na nangyari sa aming dalawa. Matapos ang trailer ng The Last Airbender, nakita ko sa kanyang mga mata ang pagkamangha sa special effects ng movie. Para lang siyang bata. Lalo na doon sa final battle scene kung saan lalamunin ng tubig ang mga kalaban ni Aang.

"Sana mapanood rin natin yan," bulong ko sa aking katabi na tila naging dahilan upang lumitaw ang smiley face sa kanyang mukha. Bago magsimula ang palabas ay lihim na inabot niya ang kamay nito sa akin. Hindi ako nagdalawang isip iabot ang sa akin dahil gusto ko rin naman ang balak niya mangyari.

Naglapat ang aming mga daliri.

Mahigpit ang kapit nito.

"It feels good dude. Don't let go" Ang nasabi ko sa kanya

At sa buong panahong pinapatawa kami ni Shrek, Donkey, Puss at Fiona ay hindi siya bumitaw sa kanyang pagkakahawak.

Marami pa ang nangyari noong gabi ng una naming meet-up. Nilibre ko siya ng Chao Fan meal sa Chowking. Naghati kami sa Garlic Kangkong na aking snack upang siya ay sabayan. Inikot namin ang Ortigas Center upang magkuwentuhan tungkol sa kanya-kanyang buhay at hinintay siyang makasakay ng G-Liner sa tabi ng POEA patungong Kanluran kung saan siya nakatira.

-

It was our first meet-up and it didn't end there. We watched another movie in less than a week, sent text messages every night just to check if the other gets home. He would ask for a hug, which I would send through virtual motions. And there were even talks of future meet-ups the next time a good movie gets to be shown on theaters.

I have always believed in the fantasy he created. It was the air I breathed for almost a week. And just when I had lost my will to fight - to welcome other souls - and focus on what the one was trying to build.

Just when I was ready to open the doors to my home, and probably even there, in the organ beneath my chest,

he cease making contact and then suddenly, deleted his Planet Romeo account for reasons I will never know.

The Great Shrug

I was at the heart of the dance floor when I received a text message from an unknown number.

"bj mo ako."

The objective was clear, tantalizing and I immediately knew where it came from. A normal horny guy would reply "gimme 30 minutes to get there. Fuck mo na rin ako," which I could have actually said. But instead, I chose to settle scores and diss his mood after what he did a few days ago.

"Hu u?" I sent back.

"Si plug_play ito. Punta ka dito." His reply was swift this time. Someone must be having a boner to show such desperation. The last time I sent a text message, it took almost forever for him to text back. My place was available that time and I wanted him to sleep over.

I secretly wanted a hug.

"Wala akong kilalang plug_play pare." Of course, I was lying. How can I forget my first sexual encounter in Planet Romeo.

"Ako yung sinuck mo two weeks ago dito sa [name of street]." It was highly flattering for him to remember. Who would have thought the hunk would actually demand an encore performance.

But no, I could get a better deal from someone else.

In my experience, guys tend to boss around and ignore you when they know you are into them. We both understand the convenience - of sending signals to one another - whenever we have this urge. What he did, however, was to deny his identity and let others harass me by posing as another person. Last Monday, someone called at 4 in the morning just to clarify the name I was referring to a text message. He said the name Markus wasn't his.

He even asked if I was gay which leads me to say "Pakiealam mo tol." then dropping his call and putting my phone on a silent mode.

That same day, I decided to cut ties after that nasty call and thought he was out of my life until tonight.

Looking across the smoke-filled room where people stand in corners to look at one another, his text message was a mere blip compared to what could be achieved when someone decides to lock eyes with me. Sometimes a person must learn to show some restraint to give others a chance to look for you. For when it's always you who express and show your admiration, you end up being unappreciated.

You look for someone only when he is gone.

Sliding my phone back in my pocket, I decided not to reply to his message. It was my vindication: a retaliation against the people who tend to drop you after their needs have been fulfilled. Getting back into the groove, a score settled has left me in a jovial mood. While a devious grin - now more prominent on my weary face - tells that he is not a loss

not a loss at all.

Rubi

Ignoring those who are there to annoy is easier than showing some fangs and biting back. But sometimes, one has to knock some sense for people to understand the etiquette guiding human interaction.

-

1. uerj 02. Jun. 2010 - 09:14
meet n fun?

2. ssr 02. Jun. 2010 - 09:14
no.

3. uerj 02. Jun. 2010 - 09:15
fuk mko

4. ssr 02. Jun. 2010 - 09:18
don't be a loser dude. I said no.

5. uerj 02. Jun. 2010 - 09:20
cge na

-

1. callmefifi 02. Jun. 2010 - 09:25
hi. paulpeter "PP" here.
22, half jap slim maputi po.
got place near kalentong.
u free tonight???

2. ssr 02. Jun. 2010 - 09:26
for what?

3. callmefifi 02. Jun. 2010 - 09:28
come on dude, u know what i mean.

4. ssr 02. Jun. 2010 - 09:30
no i don't and as far as i remember, I've never written in my profile anything about hanging out at someone's place.

5. callmefifi 02. Jun. 2010 - 09:33
okay okay.
just inviting. u can always say no. =)

6. ssr 02. Jun. 2010 - 09:33
no. thank you for the invite tol.

-

1. HiMaN 02. Jun. 2010 - 10:19
got face pics?

2. ssr 02. Jun. 2010 - 10:23
for what po?

3. HiMaN 02. Jun. 2010 - 10:25
meet up later?

4. ssr 02. Jun. 2010 - 10:28
and?

5. HiMaN 02. Jun. 2010 - 10:30
face pics?

6. ssr 02. Jun. 2010 - 10:31
no thanks.

-

1. juniorman 02. Jun. 2010 - 12:22
wanna come over to my place now? i am alone here...tagaoliveros st. barangka ibaba ako sa may iglesia ni cristo ... pls tx me at 09386560650 if you wanna. pls reply.... thanks..

2. ssr 02. Jun. 2010 - 12:27
no. thanks dude.

3. juniorman 03. Jun. 2010 - 10:39
can i come over to ur place now? pls tx me at 09386560650 if you wanna. pls reply.... thanks...

4. juniorman 03. Jun. 2010 - 11:43
can i come over to ur place now? pls tx me at 09386560650 if you wanna. pls reply.... thanks...

5. juniorman 03. Jun. 2010 - 20:06
wanna come over to my place now? i am alone here...tagaoliveros st. barangka ibaba ako sa may iglesia ni cristo ... pls tx me at 09386560650

6. ssr 03. Jun. 2010 - 20:08
copy pasted yang message mo ah!

7. juniorman 03. Jun. 2010 - 20:09
ang hirap magtype eh hehehe

8. ssr 03. Jun. 2010 - 20:12
pati ba naman pagsusulat ng personal na mensahe sa tao eh kinakatamaran na. :)

9. juniorman 03. Jun. 2010 - 20:24
hahah sorry naman po pangit po ang dating?

10. ssr 03. Jun. 2010 - 20:28
oo tol. para kasing pinapamukha mo na lahat ng tao dito eh sex lang ang hanap.

11. juniorman 03. Jun. 2010 - 20:29
sorry po d na mauulit...

12. ssr 03. Jun. 2010 - 20:32
ayos lang yun. sayang. may appeal ka pa naman.

13. juniorman 03. Jun. 2010 - 20:35
hehehe salamat naman hehehe

14. ssr 03. Jun. 2010 - 20:38
walang anuman. konting ingat lang bro.

-

1. miyuki 03. Jun. 2010 - 20:13
tol wanna see the real me hehehhe add q kea sa y.m tapos papa view aq heheeh ano deal if you want just leave ur eadd sa y,m ha ok tnx mwa

2. ssr 03. Jun. 2010 - 20:17
Why do I want to see the real you? What makes you interesting?

3. miyuki 03. Jun. 2010 - 20:20
hmpt let me justify what i've said coz basically in this website i already meet up a lot but most of them is only a poser so i want somebody to see me just to prove that i am not 1 of them gets

4. ssr 03. Jun. 2010 - 20:26
In the first place dude, what makes you interesting for me to meet you?

5. miyuki 03. Jun. 2010 - 20:29
dude coz i think ur quit interesting heheheh being a part of this site is a rediculous moment right

6. ssr 03. Jun. 2010 - 20:31
why am I interesting?

7. miyuki 03. Jun. 2010 - 20:33
nothing hehehe im also wondering why peo ang alam q magaan ang loob q seo

8. ssr 03. Jun. 2010 - 20:35
dahil?

-

1. DGD0911 04. Jun. 2010 - 10:34
hi.. hope to hear more from you

2. ssr 04. Jun. 2010 - 10:39
hear what pare?

3. DGD0911 04. Jun. 2010 - 10:41
anything pare

friends???

4. ssr 04. Jun. 2010 - 10:46
friends.

5. DGD0911 04. Jun. 2010 - 10:47
tns..

asl and stats

6. ssr 04. Jun. 2010 - 10:48
READ!

-

2. asian_sexy05 04. Jun. 2010 - 16:03
hello good day!!! ok lng ba makipag sex sau bayran kita i have a place available anytime....sagot ko lahat byran kita...reply me nplease:)here my ym i have a cam to see me 1st asian_sexy01@yahoo.com

3. ssr 04. Jun. 2010 - 16:05
Thanks babe but I don't go for trannies.

And I'm not even for sale. =)

-

Catharsis can be purged from cruelty and I must admit that it feels good to be mean sometimes. Yet, at the back of my head, I must remember that these souls I just dejected are already numbed from being thrown away and discarded many times over.

They have lost faith in finding real connection with people.

"Because if they are good-looking or physically fit, or even masculine like the ones they look up to, they would, possibly, receive a better treatment there."

"And because if they feel superior to the ones who reaches out to them, they will discard and abandon these souls like how they are rejected by the ones they look up to."

A sad, sad life indeed.

But there is a way to break the cycle.

In our quest to find instant gratification, people forget the essence of communication: to have an idea about the person we wish to communicate. Those who are sincere in reaching out will read descriptions. They will look for common grounds. The message from all those people who saw the bitch-in-me convey a mere interest in having a glimpse of the face behind the impressive physique. There are no long-term intentions. Only short-time ties that are tainted with sensual self-interest.

The ones I have engaged in a pleasant chat tend to be sensible and intelligent. They read introductions such as mine which is short and vivid like a brief afternoon downpour. Placing great care in wittily revealing between the lines the person I look forward to meet, one actually doesn't need to be fit, manly or even good-looking to catch my attention.

1. ssr 31. May. 2010 - 23:29
That's the sad thing when you care too much. You are often, unappreciated.

2. trojan 31. May. 2010 - 23:31
yah =(

3. ssr 31. May. 2010 - 23:34
I understand how you feel dude.

4. trojan 31. May. 2010 - 23:47
bakit naloko ka na rin ba?
pero mukhang ikaw ang nanloloko eh =)

5. ssr 01. Jun. 2010 - 00:02
oo naman tao lang ako no. :)
mas madalas yata ako naloko.

Sometimes, one's humility is enough to trigger a spark.