The Client Liaison

Frontliners
Fullmetal Dreams
April 20, 2008


Ilang taon sa panibago kong buhay.

Nabigyan ng pagkakataon ang kumpanyang pinagtratrabahuhan ko na lalo pang lumago sa pagpasok ng isang napakalaking account. Bahagi ng kasunduan sa pagitan ng aking kumpanya at ng kliyente ang panimulang turn-over ng dalawang sub-service kung saan karanasan na ang sumanay sa akin. Bilang isa sa pinakamatagal na sa kumpanya, napili ako bilang maging frontliners sa bagong account. Noong briefing na naganap isang linggo na ang nakalipas, paulit-ulit na pinaalala ng trainer na nakasalalay sa aming husay ang pagpasok ng iba pang mga sub-service sa aming centre.

Sakaling kami'y magtagumpay, hindi lamang kami ang makikinabang kundi pati rin ang iba pa naming mga kasamahan na sa ngayo'y nag-aabang ng mga account na maaring magpalago ng kanilang sweldo.

There's so much at stake, and when I think about it, its enormousness makes me tremble.

Inamin sa akin ni Princess na kinakabahan siya sa bagong assignment. Ganun rin ang pakiramdam ko matapos ang aming briefing.

Ngunit gaya sa isang palabas sa sine kung saan narealize ng mandirigma ang halaga ng kanyang bahagi bago ito sumugod sa digmaan, ang awakening sa akin ay naganap noong kinagabihan rin ng aming briefing.

Kasama ang trainer, inaya kami ng boss sa isang munting bonding matapos ang briefing ng mga tiga night shift. Na-tiyempo lang ang aking pagsama sapagkat noong nalaman ko na uuwi mag-isa ang trainer, nagpasya akong hintayin siya't ihatid sa kanilang bahay.

Sino bang anak-anakan ang hahayaan ang kanyang nanay-nanayan na umuwi mag-isa ng madaling araw?

Sa inuman, silang dalawa ang nagkwentuhan samantalang ako naman ay tahimik na nakinig sa kanilang usapan. Marami akong nalaman, na bilang isang hamak na empleyado ay hindi na dapat marinig pa. Ngunit noong gabing iyon, ipinaramdam nila sa akin kung gaano ako kahalaga sa kumpanya. Bilang isa sa mga pioneer, na-realize ko na malaki ang gagampanan kong role para sa ikatatagumpay ng account.

Nawala ang takot sa akin matapos ang aming inuman. Ito ay napalitan ng determinasyon na ibigay ang lahat para sa aming boss at sa aking nanay-nanayan na naniniwala sa aking kakayahan.

The monthly client call pushed through last night. Three months after the promotion and it remains the most dreaded part of my job. Why I find it so difficult to express myself is a problem beyond explanation. This phenomenon never happens when speaking to foreigners in a bar, or out in the streets, or when I meet them somewhere I find myself in.

The mind switches off when its time to raise a point. Doubts dismember the steady train of thoughts. Confidence compromised; every answer becomes a whimper. Fear stutters the voice. The tone gloomier than a stormy night. That's how I am in front of the clients. The eloquence I reveal in worded correspondence is lost in oral transliterations.

I once thought resolution could be gained when I hurl myself in the call centers. I did submit my resume once, and the synthetic performance was applauded by the human resources. Confidence was gained and this new-found boldness was enough to hide the incompetence I made.

I survived.

Long enough to rethink of my career direction.

It might take a long time before my expression could be liberated. As long as I remain a shadow of my mentor, there's no hope I would dare speak on my own. False humility would get me nowhere, but despite the leaps I did and the time I have given up to make things work, I still feel unfit for the position.

Pardon for being born a zealot but when perfection could not be achieved, frustration drives me to perform horribly. That's what I always think during client calls. If only I could sink beneath my chair never to emerge until the conversation is over,

I would.

But the boss thinks otherwise.

"You're performing well J." I would like to believe it was given as a token of encouragement. But the truth is, I am capable to perform more tasks than some people at work. I am their first hybrid.

Going home at past midnight, it suddenly crossed my mind how our beginnings were conceived and how far we've come.

History best speaks when life gets stuck at the forks.

Reading a part of the entry at a time the account was given, a grain of truth may be found in the boss' tender words

for I remember now what was written before:

Vision never lied when I foresaw the enormity of the new account. I was handpicked to become the center's front liner despite my secret hesitations. Years have passed and the account has now multiplied. If nurtured and taken cared by the centre, it may become the promise it once was - the bread and butter of the company.

Past forward into the near future. Who knows, the universe might be actually conspiring to grant fate's aspiration. I may still bear doubts at the moment.

But who knows.

Maybe there's a reason the front liner has become the client liaison.