What goes around, comes around.
That's what I've painfully and humiliatingly learned tonight, after deciding to follow my worst demons rather than go home and do the assignments that I was tasked to complete for tomorrow.
It must be fate's retribution for my arrogance and overconfidence these past few weeks. I should have known better - that I am still bound by the unspoken hierarchy that rules over everyone in my world. I thought that my newfound improvement could break the rules imposed by the ones on top. But in so many cases, I was just pushed back to the place I am supposed to be...
... To the place I was only meant to be.
The events that unfolded tonight will always be a reminder of how harsh and unforgiving it is in the world that I wanted to return to. The demoralizing thought of my disastrous miscalculations that lead to being booted out in the face of better competitions will eventually pass. I might even regain my ivory-tower ego that was trampled and crushed upon because of my blinded desperation for attention.
Nevertheless, I will make sure, that tonight will be the turning point for all the efforts and initiatives that I have done to complete this physical reconstruction I started last year.
This day will always be remembered every time I lose sight of what goals I wanted to achieve with myself in the years to come.
The memory of becoming disowned and decieved will linger on for sometime. And the words "hindi ka namin bet." will echo on and on in my ears for months to come, every time I will attempt to break my position in the hierarchy again.
However, with the pain comes a reminder that will always put my feet on the ground.
It would stir more humility and heightened sensitivity from me, especially if I would be facing something this disturbingly unfamiliar in the future.
Indeed we needed to be knocked hard, in order for us to wake up from the illusion we sometimes desire to dwell on.
In my case, I was knocked not only once, but twice just to wake-up from my impressions of superiority.
And despite the pain that hasn't even sunk yet, I'm glad I was knocked with a direct hit.
For I discovered, there is determination in the face of utter defeat.
---
Pulsar: Ikaw kasi eh, ayaw mo magpaawat. Tuloy, tinamaan ka ng kidlat.
Mugen: Sige na, ma-pride na ako, tanga pa. Si Darkstar kasi, masyadong lumalakas ang loob. Tuloy buminggo tayong tatlo.
Darkstar: Masakit nga yun mga dre. Pero at least ngayon, may reason na si Joms maging determinado.
Pulsar: Saan?
Darkstar: Secret.
Mugen: Ah basta, talagang mag-iingat na ako ng husto sa susunod. Lalo na sa ganun.
Pulsar: Think of the bright side. At least, we are saved in so many ways. Get my drift?
Mugen: But we paid very dearly for it.
Pulsar: Isipin mo na lang, karma ni Joms yan. He had his time anyway.
Darkstar: Tama na nga to. Let's move on wearily, pero we should always remember what happened... Makakaganti rin tayo.
That's what I've painfully and humiliatingly learned tonight, after deciding to follow my worst demons rather than go home and do the assignments that I was tasked to complete for tomorrow.
It must be fate's retribution for my arrogance and overconfidence these past few weeks. I should have known better - that I am still bound by the unspoken hierarchy that rules over everyone in my world. I thought that my newfound improvement could break the rules imposed by the ones on top. But in so many cases, I was just pushed back to the place I am supposed to be...
... To the place I was only meant to be.
The events that unfolded tonight will always be a reminder of how harsh and unforgiving it is in the world that I wanted to return to. The demoralizing thought of my disastrous miscalculations that lead to being booted out in the face of better competitions will eventually pass. I might even regain my ivory-tower ego that was trampled and crushed upon because of my blinded desperation for attention.
Nevertheless, I will make sure, that tonight will be the turning point for all the efforts and initiatives that I have done to complete this physical reconstruction I started last year.
This day will always be remembered every time I lose sight of what goals I wanted to achieve with myself in the years to come.
The memory of becoming disowned and decieved will linger on for sometime. And the words "hindi ka namin bet." will echo on and on in my ears for months to come, every time I will attempt to break my position in the hierarchy again.
However, with the pain comes a reminder that will always put my feet on the ground.
It would stir more humility and heightened sensitivity from me, especially if I would be facing something this disturbingly unfamiliar in the future.
Indeed we needed to be knocked hard, in order for us to wake up from the illusion we sometimes desire to dwell on.
In my case, I was knocked not only once, but twice just to wake-up from my impressions of superiority.
And despite the pain that hasn't even sunk yet, I'm glad I was knocked with a direct hit.
For I discovered, there is determination in the face of utter defeat.
---
Pulsar: Ikaw kasi eh, ayaw mo magpaawat. Tuloy, tinamaan ka ng kidlat.
Mugen: Sige na, ma-pride na ako, tanga pa. Si Darkstar kasi, masyadong lumalakas ang loob. Tuloy buminggo tayong tatlo.
Darkstar: Masakit nga yun mga dre. Pero at least ngayon, may reason na si Joms maging determinado.
Pulsar: Saan?
Darkstar: Secret.
Mugen: Ah basta, talagang mag-iingat na ako ng husto sa susunod. Lalo na sa ganun.
Pulsar: Think of the bright side. At least, we are saved in so many ways. Get my drift?
Mugen: But we paid very dearly for it.
Pulsar: Isipin mo na lang, karma ni Joms yan. He had his time anyway.
Darkstar: Tama na nga to. Let's move on wearily, pero we should always remember what happened... Makakaganti rin tayo.
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