The Killer Bagnet

To an uninstructed tongue like mine, a delicacy even those from the heartland of Cabalens will leave an exotic flavor on my taste buds. Being a Manila Boy for life - with no recent memory of embarking on a journey away from the city - denies me the chance to try local cuisines others have already savored and enjoyed. If a dish from lands as close as Pampanga has evaded my tummy, what more if the cuisine hails from far-flung realms of Ilocandia and Bicolandia? My entry is about gustatory initiation. It's about my first bite of Bagnet and how such sinful food could kill a person with one huge serving.

The department I belong loves food. I swear people there don't just worship things that are edible, they gorge anything that is oily and fatty. Even the desktop picture of an analyst reeks of cholesterol. Imagine the first thing we see in the morning is a blown-up image of a double-patty Cheeseburger. This alone would give the reason behind everyone's girth expanding every quarter.

Going back to the wicked Bagnet, my friend Ternie tried to sign-up my soul for a one way trip to perdition. He described the dish as the same as Pork Chicharon with tender bits of meat clinging to the crispy skin. His descriptions were mouth watering, specially when thoughts of Kare-Kare came into the picture. I could not contain my stomach's grumbling and my diet was inching towards getting betrayed. Telling myself - of the goal to get fit - was the reason for able to hold my mouth against the Bagnet's allure. Realizing I couldn't get swayed, Ternie backs off but promised to return with more forms of temptation under his sleeve.

The next day, a colleague announced that his wife came back from a trip to Pangasinan. To support his claims, this colleague took out a rounded plastic container from inside his bag. Pulling the lid to open, its contents reveal several big chunks of meat. I thought it was Lechon Kawali at first, but when he said it was Bagnet, the chat conversation with Ternie played inside my head.


Will I take it?


Will I?


Will I?


I was in the middle of a very important debate when the container landed in front of me. The colleague urged I take the last piece. Hesitation comes into play - specially when I learned at the gym I bounced back to 170 again. This time, curiosity prevailed. I took the last chunk, still dripping with oil from the meat. The oil stained my fingers but feeling how tender the chunk of meat was, I couldn't help but get mesmerized by the prospect of committing a nasty deed. I dropped the meat inside my mouth and without thinking twice, began to chew through the crispy skin.

Minutes after swallowing the piece, I was holding back my tears for I have found love.



Hours later, the analysts from my department discussed among themselves their out of this world experience with Bagnet. We were seated on a bench - me and the three stooges - while waiting for our task to resume. One compared devouring a chunk of Bagnet to tapping the bone marrow in Bulalo. Both offer savage delight to one's appetite, but the two contend in being the deadliest to one's already maligned artery. The conversation went on - like they were in an inuman - only without the beer. They cited all the embolism and myocardial infarction inducing pulutan beginning with Crispy Pata and ending with Aligue. As they went on thinking of ways to die by eating, one of the analysts came up with a morbid idea.

"Why not serve Bagnet wrapped in bacon strips deep fried in Aligue?" He suggested "Then the sawsawan would come from bone marrow and ox brain made into gravy?"

"Pare kelangan mo ng doktor kapag inupakan mo yun!" Chuckled another.

"Yung dessert, Brazo De Mercedes tapos Leche Flan na gawa sa egg yolk yung nasa loob."

They were laughing their assess off until our fifteen minute break was over. As for me who they thought was part of the crew, my thoughts were already stolen by some fleeting scenes of a market somewhere up north.


Anticipating..

.. expecting


my arrival.




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