Act Of Liberation

I feel like exploding.

Two hours of forced work-out gradually took its toll on my unprepared frame. As it turned out, the trainor, which used to be the darling of all the members, during the last time I was in the gym, had long been gone. In his place is another trainer, young and quite unapproacheable. He is very much different from the one I met before.

I thought that since it's my first day, I would just do some little cardio. But instead, the trainor told me to do a 30 minute cardio exercise. After I finished doing the cardio, we proceeded to do weightlifting. It seems like I was not really prepared to have those bench presses and those sit-ups I had to do this evening. I can't even lift a 10 pounder barbell.

But since I am trying to instill some discipline in me, I just told myself to hang-on and do what the trainor has instructed.

For the love of flying...

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The last time I went to the gym, I left it with some degree of control with my body. For two years after I dumped dark rooms for a stable relationship, I am able to do dance moves that were once reserved when I seduced a potential partner in the dance floor before.

During a brief time, my confidence surged from near zero, to those levels I had prior to breaking up with my first lover.

Too bad, I was forced to cease my work out after it lost steam a month after I felt the changes. Roy was another factor. During those times, he was into body building as well. However, when he suddenly stopped out of health reason, I decided to follow as well.

After all, the dare that we would make "rampa" wearing tight jeans and black tank tops at Malate during the Black Party was already void.

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It's already past two hours after I arrived home. Slowly but surely the pain and the muscle soreness would become evident when I wake up tomorrow morning. Still, I'm not really sure whether my decision to go full swing in my gym training would be worthwhile or not... I'm not even sure if I would succeed this time or it may become a flop again.

But one thing is sure though. I would prove that Pipay was wrong when he said that my flabs would stay forever. In eight months I would make sure that I would have some major improvements on my body.

Until then. I would stay quiet. I'm even thinking whether it would be good to be isolated for the mean time so that my developments... would just be for my eyes alone.

And no matter how many times it would take before I may become successful in taming my own frame. I would never stop nor surrender.

For I'm beginning to get tired hiding behind my own shadow.

And I'm getting weary thinking about if I would last a decade with the abuses I'm giving to my deteriorating body.

Lastly, I'm beginning to get tired oogling at some other buff bodies when I can develop mine.

I guess, it's time to claim my own place.

After all, whatever happens, It's my body and my health that mattered.