Fairietailer (Mugenblu Edited Version)*

Readers would be surprised as to why I haven't updated my blog for several days na. Wala lang, siguro walang time. Besides, it's hard to compose sensible thoughts over at blog. Kelangan mo talagang pag isipan ang bawat sasabihin mo eh. While here, you can be eternally crappy and jologs as long as you want.

Browsing the websites, I feel kinda regretful about my past decisions about my career. What turns out to be initially boring job turns out to be interesting pala! Ewan ko ba. Maybe there's something bigger waiting for me in the future. Patience and long term thoughts is what I needed right now.

Roy had a date last night. Based from his intitial kwento this morning, he had maximum enjoyment daw. He even claimed that though he doesn't like kissing boys, namaga daw lips niya dun sa date niya kagabi. He even said that his date looks like Dodong (our friend), only very much taller. Tapos he had big arms (yum!) and a very lovely happy trail. Wala lang, from his description before he met the guy last night, one would get an impression that the guy is 1. Masculine, 2. Aggressive. 3. Top 4. Financially Strong. What makes the guy more interesting is that he drives his own car. (Wish ko lang Lancer Evo para shala) and dates girls as well. Pero bakit ganun, I feel a slight tinge of envy (not selos ha) whenever I hear his stories. Is it because I never had proud moments like he does? Is it because he's so good in storytelling, one won't help but be impressed at how technicolor his PLU life is?

Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for Roy. Sino bang hindi, kung wala siyang storya na ganun, wala kaming kwentuhan every time we hang out. Nobody would get inspired to follow his footsteps - whoever that hearer is. Grabe, naalala ko tuloy si Euphoria Boy ulit. When Roy said he's "doing something milagro at the parking lot of..." What I can picture in my mind
is a make-out scene in Antipolo. Somewhere where there is a good and striking view of Manila at night.

But you know what, even though I paused for a moment while I imagined his fairytale, I also realized that fairytales exists in
moments. There are really no close-ended, happy endings. The closest fairytales I have recently is when Phanks hugs me before I go to work in the morning. Alam mo yun, when he snuggles at you and tucks himself between ur arms and chest while under the sheets sabay sobrang lamig pa ng hangin, parang nakakaramdam ka ng sense at purpose sa relationship niyo. I honestly feel better going to work when those hugging moments happen. But since our existence is pretty routine and ordinary, such things never have special status anymore. But I bet, if that happens with another guy, then it's something mystifying.

Talking about fairy tales. Roy is still ecstatic about the outcome of his date last night. I on the other hand is excited to know the graphic details of his story. Perhaps I could meet up with him after going to the gym later this afternoon. I may be amused and enthralled by my friend's exploits; same thing is true whenever I tell mine. Even though I may preoccupy my thoughts with my own fairy tales, daydreams and fantasies from time to time, looking at a cynic point of view, those things are just mere passing moments: some diversionary breather that takes you away from the mundaness of life. If only I could remind myself all the time how fairytales leave you emptier, I'd rather have a monotonous existence with someone I'm already used to be with, than live in split-second fairytales which would just leave you

longing for more

after.

*Taken from another journal.