Petunia In An Onion Patch

Will you pick it up and put it in your salad dressing knowing that this is the Onion patch it came from?

---

Walong oras ako tigas na tigas kanina.

Badtrip nga eh, baka may nakakita sa aking pinipisil si batutuy kasi aroused rin ako sa mga sinasabi ko. Sensya na, pervert lang talaga ako. The more na nasty yung mga sinasabi sakin, mas lalo akong natuturn on. Buti na lang wala akong katabi.

Minsan, gusto ko tuloy itanong sa mga kasama ko lalo na dun sa mga straight na lalaki kung sila rin ba tinatablan ng libog sa trabaho namin. Nagwoworry tuloy ako kasi special case ang sa akin.

Pero hindi lahat, sex ang habol sayo. Gaya sa totoong buhay, merong pang-kama ka lang at meron rin namang totoong seryoso ang pakikitungo sayo.

Nakakaawa lang kasi bilang tao, nararamdaman mo yung need nila. Kahit alam mong peke lang yung mga "hugs at kisses" mo, na pa tweetums lang yung concern na binibigay mo sa ka-text mo, sa kanila big deal yun.

At alam mong big deal yun sa kanila kasi ikaw mismo, nagmemelt rin.

- Confessions of the Real Model, June 12, 2005

*

I woke up this morning from someone's phonecall.

It was my boss and he was calling from the US. He was extremely furious and his first words were "Asan Ka Na? Wala ka pa ba sa opisina? Anong oras na?!?!" Since I just woke up, I was perfectly defenseless.

Rolling out from the bed and into the computer. I told him that I am logging on from home, which was acceptable but not really a good resort. It was 6:30 and I said that I woke up late because I went out last night.

From there, his furiousness further increased. He was raging mad and I was recieving the full brunt of it.

- Countdown to Termination, September 25, 2005

*

Significant changes are happening in the office these past few weeks.

There was a massive recruitment going on, for we have been constantly flooded by text messages coming from abroad.

Overnight, I have become one of the oldest workers in the group. Everyone I knew when I was just starting was already gone.

And even mami admitted that she would be working at home beginning this week.

Somehow the changes made me feel very alone.

- Under the Textron Sun, November 9, 2005

*

"I have to tell you something," He said.

"Anu yun dude?" I asked him, with a half guess in my head.

"Wag na lang..." was his reply. Apparently, he was having second thoughts of spilling out the beans.

Then, silence fell between us.

"Ano nga yun,"

I insisted a couple of times more. But he was really hesitant to say what he wanted to convey to me. so there was silence between us. Suddenly, without any warning, he held my hand and put it firmly and forcefully between his legs. I felt a massive bulge.

"Would this mean anything to you?" He asked.

At that moment, I was virtually powerless to make any reactions. Never did I guess that I would eventually reach the point, where I tried to consciously and persistently avoid this past few months.

- Eyes Wide Shut, March 5, 2007

*

Mami Athena calls him the Princess because according to her, he is cute and fragile looking. Wanda Ilusyonada, who is his close friend back in college also addresses him in the same manner. He is a tall, very lean gentleman with a remarkable chinito facial features that puts him in the category of good-looking guys in the office. Compared to my rugged and brute disposition, he is a class act. Armed with an exceptionally outstanding fashion sense and a penchant for creativity - particularly in the field of visual arts, he stands out among the rest.

- Prelude to An Alliance, June 02, 2007

*

The interviewer lead us to the dining table and introduced himself as Francis. He is the boss of the start-up company that is interested to hire us. As he gave a brief history of the company, he took a bundle of teen and adult magazines scattered in one of the chairs near him. He then pointed the several advertisements in those magazines looking for text mates. We read the advertisements from each of the magazines and when we were already getting an idea about the nature of work we will be doing, Francis told us that our job is to respond to incoming text messages in the computer pretending that we are the text mates of the users.

- Appleseed, June 14, 2007

*

I got off the FX at the gas station. Then I boarded a tricycle that would take me to my office. It was raining when I arrived. When Mami saw me, she thought I just came from the gym.

I never told her what happened. Instead, I asked her for a stick of Phillip Morris and then quietly went to the small bathroom, which I dubbed the "Panic Room" for its importance on my well-being.

The boss arrived and caught me by surprise. Much as I would like to hide, he saw me smoking. Since it was strictly prohibited to smoke inside the premises, I thought I was a goner. Luckily, the boss didn't mind my presence since he was busy instructing the QA Department of some changes in the company. You see, we have a new account and its anticipated arrival kept everyone busy the whole day yesterday.

After I've done smoking, I went to the HR Room where the reception area and the pantry is located. I told the people there that I'd just like to make tambay, which they merely responded with a puzzled look. Settling at the pantry, I took my readings out of my bag and quietly studied there, until the boss noticed me and volunteered his private office at the other side of the floor.

I declined his offer out of embarrassment.

- Sanctuario, August 8, 2007

*

Inamin sa akin ni Princess na kinakabahan siya sa bagong assignment. Ganun rin ang pakiramdam ko matapos ang aming briefing.

Ngunit gaya sa isang palabas sa sine kung saan narealize ng mandirigma ang halaga ng kanyang bahagi bago ito sumugod sa digmaan, ang awakening sa akin ay naganap rin kinagabihan ng aming briefing.

Kasama ang trainer, inaya kami ng boss sa isang munting bonding matapos ang briefing ng mga panggabi sa aming kumpanya. Nagkataon lang ang aking pagsama sapagkat noong nalaman ko na uuwi mag-isa ang trainer noong gabing yun, nagpasya akong hintayin siya't ihatid pauwi.

After all, sino bang anak-anakan ang hahayaan ang kanyang nanay-nanayan na umuwi mag-isa ng hatinggabi?

Sa inuman, silang dalawa ang nagkwentuhan samantalang ako naman ay mataimtim na nakinig sa kanilang usapan. Marami akong nalaman, na bilang isang mangagawa lamang ay hindi ko na dapat marinig pa. Ngunit noong gabing iyon, ipinaramdam nila sa akin kung gaano ako kabahagi ng kumpanya. Bilang isa sa mga pioneer dito, na-realize ko na malaki ang gagampanan kong role para sa ikatatagumpay ng account.

- Frontliners, April 20, 2008

---

These are some of the memories I will be leaving if I choose exodus over atonement. The courtship was a resounding success and the perks I will be getting is something I have never received in my three long years of stay in my job.

Mami Athena now knows of my plans and being the surrogate mother she has always been, I have her blessings. She told me to plant myself in places where I would truly grow. The new company promises many things that are too good to be true, I am afraid that they are all but mere deceptions.

Research told me however of a different story.

My resignation letter is safely tucked inside my bag and can be deployed at a moment's notice. However, personal values hesitate me from executing my plan.

I cannot leave someone behind.

With this in mind, new plans will have to be implemented.

Since my sister is also currently looking for a job, I can give up my slot and let her take my slice of heaven. She deserves to be in paradise more than I do and the laws of profession dictates that we can never be in the same company together.

She will have my place.

However, if she chooses to decline my offer, that is the time I will reconsider.

Depending on the conditions in the Onion Patch, even Petunias like me also yearn to be included in someone's garden salad.

---

-tobecontinued-

Courtship

The heart is a muscle that pumps blood into the veins. The blood carries oxygen to the brain enabling us to reason with logic when emotions get shaken by a series of roller-coaster events. When the heart begins to doubt, the mind questions its being. It becomes unresponsive to stimulus leaving the blood, the organs and the body lethargic.

It's been more than a week since my soul was driven out of my body. As a result, I've been mostly paranoid, afraid and unable to answer with clarity when someone asks me their fate for the day. In my kind of living - where I allow others to feed on my soul, what is essential is that I am one with myself. Once I become the other who seeks constant re-assurance from someone stronger, how can I stand and be a guide for others?

I am writing in codes so no need to decipher what is being written. Just look at the stars, the labels and the constellations and you will know what I meant all along.

*

It wasn't easy to get crushed and I tried my best to paint my gloominess with a fake smile. My silence reeks of agony and those close to me must have felt the pain. I am just human not to feel anything about it. I tried to keep still, but nightmares kept on haunting me. When I'm not reading someone's future, I preoccupy myself reading mine.

Will I commit the big mistake again?

How long before I finally accept that it wasn't just my mistake all along?

Will they blame me when the gods from the other side suddenly leaves when they find better worshipers?

I try not to think about it, but the guilt is always stirring me.

*

So I cast my eyes into another world one sunny afternoon, and what I saw is a gorgeous lady whose slender features remind me of wide open spaces, empty floors, quiet cubicles and an enterprise that is just about to take flight at a time when the heavens seem crashing down to the earth.

I want to be there when the turbulent waters evaporate over the clear blue sky. I hope that rainbows will restore my faith back into me.

*

Blame my attachment if I shed a tear while writing this confession. It is not easy to part ways, especially when you know where your heart is in place. But I cannot stand the nightmare anymore. I cannot last a day thinking what if the same mistake happens again in the near future.

I promise that I would never tell the heartaches I keep and I will always treasure the best memories should this new lady take my hand and let me become her concubinus. Let the pain be mine for I know, things will turn better if I get over this.

I just want you to know that the courtship will take place later.

And even if I don't get considered, my desire to seek a new destiny has now entered my stream of consciousness

Much as I would like to gain atonement for all the things that I've done, consider this entry my prelude to saying goodbye.

---

-tobecontinued-

Job Application (Second Part)

My sister made it on the first cut.

And she was asked to stay behind because the recruitment would conduct the second phase of the job application process which is the initial interview. The interview is where, in my job hunting days, the usual part where I get the "thank you" card. Written on the card were the words "you can apply again after six months in our company," which I take as a stab on my dignity knowing that I lost it bitterly in a job application process.

However, not all is lost in those countless job interviews I have done in order to get a job. After sending my application from company to company, week after week and getting turned down in the end soon taught me the ropes when being interviewed by a recruiter. The questions that were asked became a solid piece of memory that I kept in my mind so that whenever I would be invited to be interviewed again by another company, I know what to answer.

I would not stutter and I would not say "ahhhh" with a very long pause.

The top questions an interviewer may ask an applicant include:

Tell me something about yourself?
What do you know about our company?
Describe to me your working habits?
How do you see yourself in five years?
Why do you want to work with us when there are other good companies hiring out there?

Of course, there are the tricky questions, which only a creative and witty applicant may answer convincingly. HR wants to power trip sometimes and they love overconfident applicants to suffer. It's a proven fact. Yet for all intents and purposes, I gathered all the interview questions that were asked to me from the recesses of my mind in order to impart them to my sister who was getting nervous on her first job interview.

To boost up her morale, I told her that what companies are really looking for are people who not only have the talent, but also the heart to endure being a slave in a corporate environment. I emphasized the words "compassion" and "loyalty" since I know that she would be working in a service-oriented company. When it was her turn to be interviewed, I even reminded her to tell the interviewer that "she wants to grow with the company." This was the famous line that earned me the final interview spot at West Contact during the early days of my Call Center job application tour.

The job interview was over after 15 minutes. My sister's status: Passed. She was endorsed to a final interview which will be set at midnight the same day. For my folks back home, such interview being conducted at midnight was very unusual for them.

But for me who have been to such job interview before, I understand why it has to be done at midnight. Aside from examining if the applicant can fairly adjust to the night shift. It is also a way for them to know how serious the applicant is with the American-time job.

Knowing that my sister is applying for an outsourcing company, night, for many suddenly becomes her day.

Her night suddenly becomes everyone's day.

Job Application (First Part)

I saw it in her eyes: The everdistant gaze into nothingness; thoughts buried deep on a brochure provided by a company looking for fresh manpower; the interview coaching - the things that you say to the interviewer and the possible questions the interviewer may throw to you. For me, it was as if I saw myself three years ago when I was the one looking for a job. However this time, it was my sister and she had her first job interview after graduating from college.

Yesterday, she received a phone call from a company that I sent her resume to last year. This company is reputed to have a very good standing with its employees. In fact, if money was all that is important to me, I would have sent my resume to them in hopes of finding greener pastures in the business process outsourcing world. But such thing is not my cup of tea. Instead, I let my sister take my place in hopes that someday she would earn more than what I get from my small, campy workplace.

So we found ourselves at the heart of Eastwood City - the place where many many years ago was the spot where Roy and I had our little fantasies with girl dancers doing a Cayote Dance on the bar table of Sibil. While my sister took her "math" exams, I went to Agave Restaurant to meet XP and his fabulous American boyfriend who just arrived from the States. The meeting was fun. The boyfriend was cute and bubbly. I'm pretty sure that they're having some "fun time" as of this moment.

After I saw them, I returned to this call center to check on my sister. The exam had just ended and the first thing I heard from her was why she was asked to take a math test when the job she sought is with the HR Department. I told her that perhaps, the call center was looking for potential IT people from among its applicants. It happened to me when I applied at Accenture several years before.

The nerve-wrecking wait for the results to arrive took about several minutes. In between the waiting, I saw my sister talking to the other applicants who also took the exam. Remembering how it was during my days, the best part of the application process is when you meet your fellow applicants and learning their stories. In some cases the brief chat in the lounge while waiting for your name to be called by the interviewer would lead to friendships that would last the whole application process. Sometimes, the friendship gets an extension especially when you instantly decide to tag along to his/her other job hunting destinations because you find this applicant fun to be with. Unfortunately, when the last interview had took place, the friendship gets a sudden end. I guess it was meant to be that way. The friendships you made with someone is just a temporary comfort to the strangeness of being in place where nobody cares a shit about you.

Going back, the examiner returned with several white que cards in her hand. Of the three applicants who took the exam, only two made it. One of them was my sister, who the moment received the notice glowed like a sunflower. To find out that her first shot in job application was a success became a moral booster to her sensitive ego. However, it was just the first phase of the application process and pretty sure, the huddles will become more challenging as she climbs up the job application ladder.

For me, it was merely a beginners luck.

Nevertheless, I had high hopes she would make it.

---

-tobecontinued-

Taming The Tikbalang

Entry secretly posted last February, 2006. Like I always tell the newly hired operators in the office, I maybe one of the pioneers but my first year was mired with constant attempts to leave the company to settle elsewhere. In those days, setting a foothold in one place had never cross my mind yet.

Only the prospects of finishing a post-graduate degree forced me to prioritize what I really wanted to do with my life.

---

And when I close my eyes, I see myself working in some small but high-paying company at the heart of Makati. One breezy afternoon, I would go out of my new office building to smoke and gaze at the sun's rays reflected on the stained windows of a skyscraper across the street. The day was relatively productive, and day by day, I am becoming more of an asset to the company. Ever since I joined them, I make sure that I am in the forefront of every project they have been involved with.

For I have taught myself to become an achiever; someone who is willing to take all necessary steps just to be ahead of his colleagues.

And when the end of the month comes, I would be proud to bring home the bacon, which rivals those I am getting now from the two companies I am involved with. I would never sleep again fearing the day when we finally lose the remaining strings that hold our last business empire together.

This is the dream I have been aiming for since I found my independence. Somehow, someway I would make sure to achieve it. I do not want to wake up in a reality of growing old, realizing that I spent my whole life wading in a meaningless existence jumping from one personal project to the next.

---

Will I be nearer to my goals this year? Would I finally hit my target I have been aiming for since the first time I started working for another company?

It has been two years and countless attempts later since I began this enterprise of working independently from the sikyu agency. So far, my existence remains in limbo. The work I am doing right now is almost synonymous with playing. We all know that we will never have any future or growth in what we are doing, we even don't know if some other companies understand what job we are performing.

Almost every month, I have been constantly looking for ways to appraise myself. My mom had even reached the point where she could not take my jobhunting endeavors anymore. Everytime i feel anxious about my financial stability, I always resort to sending my resume elsewhere. It's a force of habit, especially when I get reminded of how vulnerable my family's situation is.

I admit that I am constantly in search for something, some career that would make me grow and feel like an achiever. But in the past three years, I'm afraid I haven't found my contentment yet.

---

This afternoon, I was invited to meet a businessman who could provide me with a job I have been dreaming of. Their office is located in Makati - near the exact spot where I've been having fantasies of working ever since. They offer a much more respectable compensation than what I am earning right now. And most of all, the work they offer relates more to what I finished in college.

It is about writing and what they are looking for is someone who has the passion to write about any subject under the sun.

The interviewer asked me about the most favorite topic I want to talk about. Obviously it's all about gay stuffs. I have been talking about these things ever since this blog had started. But, I could not easily reveal him my true interest. This time, I won't compromise my sexuality to strangers. So instead, I told him that I'm interested about current events. Being a wikipedia addict and an avid fan of CNN, I'm sure that I would have the edge when it comes to global affairs.

He gave me a test in which he would choose a website and that I should write an article about something he finds interesting. A few minutes of browsing and then he discovered a news story about a roof of a market that collapsed in Russia. To tell you honestly, it was a weak story. But nevertheless, he asked me to write a shorter article about it.

---

I have been writing articles ever since. No matter how I deny it, writing is my most reliable talent. But this afternoon, it proved to be useless. The article which I wrote during the exam was one of the lousiest one I have written. It was very formal, unnatural and worse of all, I wrote it in a manner where my mind was not comfortable to think about the things I would like to say.

It was too artificial and no matter how the interviewer praised it, I think it was my worst. In my long years in Journalism, I never fully realized that writing is all about expressing ones thoughts and feelings about an experience that happened, until today. The reason why I feel so free in my blog is because I can bare my soul there and nobody would even care. No one would bother telling me how my grammar lapses sucks or how my writing style and overall mood turn the readers off.

In my blog I could express my raw emotions; powerful and full of sadness. But when I wrote the article this afternoon, it appeared to be written by a robot.

---

I'm not expecting to get that job. But it was the closest one I've got so far in reaching my ultimate dream of financial security. Nevertheless, despite the promising salary and growth offered by the job, such new career would simply destroy the world I have used to live in. It would destroy my sleeping habits, my resting habits, my gym routine and worst of all, I would again adjust to people I may not get along with in the end.

If ever they give me a chance to prove myself, I think I would have a hard time letting go of the things I've been so used to doing for the last several months.

Perhaps, this is not my time yet to move on. Probably, there's a better job waiting for me somewhere. Whatever plans I have set forth for myself this year, I hope that I would achieve them.

Those plans I set for myself are the ones driving me to find my own direction, even though my final destination remains unclear at this point in time.

---

One summer after, I found my calling in the bosom of Diliman. Who would have thought that after looking for countless job offers during my first year as a chat operator, my destination would eventually be in the graduate school.

"Such opportunity comes only once," I tell myself every time I begin to question my existence.

Freeaaky

Who would have ever thought that there is a company that really pays people who write reviews about online porn websites in the US.

Grabe, I thought it was a mere urban legend that circulated around the internet until I stumbled upon that company who interviewed me this afternoon.

"We write reviews for porn websites." said the interviewer

"I'm sorry maam?!?"

I cautiously replied, while trying to be all ears to what the interviewer was saying.

"Basically, you get to browse, watch and view porn websites - including gays of course for 8 hours every day and then write reviews about it. Thats what the job is." She explained.

Mind you, the young lady who was interviewing me was at most, in her mid 20's. She was small woman, with big eyeglasses and very lean figure. If Im not mistaken, she is a geek by physical appearance alone.

I was dumbstruck on my chair, smiling in hope that I could hide my disbelief and incedulity to what she revealed.

Then she drove her point by asking me to write a review about a certain website which will serve as my trial exam where they will base all their decisions if ever they will hire me or not.

So, for one hour and 30 minutes I was staring at a 17-inch monitor browsing photes of nude and freaky women (ewww!!) and white guys with massive cocks (yeah!!!) and relentless fucking, with no lovely forplay whatsoever and pink pussies oozing with cum that exploded from the guys who fucked them!! (mind you, the guy's faces were hidden from the screen which disappointed me greatly.)

When I looked around, I've realized that most of the people working there were guys too!!however, I've observed that there's a slight majority of geeks and freakies among the group.

I wonder if those guys ever get a boner every time they do their job.

Grabe, I know I'm a god-forsaken pervert but my powers won't stand a chance against such kind of work. Besides, if ever I'll gonna be hired there, (which is impossible even if they pay me 20,000 bucks to write three articles a day!) how could I tell the entire planet that my job is an online porn reviewer?

As in!! my mother would surely disown me if she ever finds out.

On a positive note, if ever I'd gonna work there, at least I might get to download gay porns anytime I want. Then I will sell it to you guys at a much sweeter price. Lol.

Besides, I would get leaner and leaner as months passes by... for sure bathroom trips would be longer and more frequent than the usual...

---

But seriously, even if the pay would be interesting. I guess, I'm not yet open minded enough to

accept such offer.

Besides, why would I leave my current company when I get all the perks I want from here?

Ispluk From The Mother Of All Manghahada

In fairness naikot ko ata ang buong Maynila buong araw. Paano ba naman, ngayon na-ischeduleyung dalawang chorva ko from new pastures elsewhere kaya hayun, umaga pa lang, instead na nag byu-beauty sleep ako eh larga kaagad ako from my balay.

First stop Ortigas. Dun sa building kung saan nagwork ako dati as a telemarketer of substandard printer inks in the US. Jusku, pressure talaga ang work na yun mga ateng. Halos pagpawisan talaga ka ng malapot bumenta lang sa mga Kanong walang alam sabihin sayo kundi "I'm not interested" or "this is a scam, fuck off asshole!!" Alam mo na, marami kasing madaling mabola sa US of A eh.

Pagdating ko dun eh 5 minutes akong late. Pekpek sila eh! Advance ang time nila sa time ko (kahit 30 minutes advanced ang orasan ko). Nung una, gulat pa ang receptionist dahil bakit daw lumitaw ang kagandahan ko dun samantalang hindi naman ako kasama sa list.

Cherva ko, "you told me to return today to take my exam... chorva chorva." Pero hindi naman ako nagtataray. Tamang pagpapaliwanag lang.

Hayun, after 20 minutes na pag-iintay at pang-iisplukan sa mga katabi kong applicant rin tungkol sa dati kong call center na tsismax ng cutie kong officemate eh pinapatayo sila for more than 8 hours every day habang nagtatake ng live calls at ispluk naman nila eh pinagbebenta raw ng daing na bangus yung mga call center agents dun sa CC (Call Center) sa baba ng floor namin,

pinag-exam rin nila ako.

Ang exam. Abstract reasoning. Ang pootah, kauma-umaga pinag-isip kaagad ako tungkol sa anong mga shapes ang naiba. Siguro after answering for a while, nahilo na rin ako. Bet ko natalagang mag-minimi-minimi minimo para makalayas lalo na't nagets ko na meron rin silang outbound account.

Ewan ko ba, after ata nung nag-apply ako sa Convergys several months ago, parang naging allergic ako sa mga call centers.

---

Eventually, natapos rin ako ng exams pero talagang windang na akong lumabas ng Orient. Kala ko nga magfa-paint ako sa kalsada dahil parang for a moment naging blanko ang paninginko. Wala pang 30 minutes ay natagpuan ko na ang sarili ko sa Kalentong. Kelangan kong magpa-print ng bagong "R" para dun sa next company na aaplayan ko sa Makati.

Mura naman ang printing kaya keri lang. Pero jusku ang pamasahe. Dun ata naubos ang budget ko for today.

Tinanong ko yung ale kung ano ang pinakamabilis na way papuntang Makati. Chorva nya, sakay daw ako papuntang Pasig tapos bumaba ako sa Crossing. Nung pagkasabi niya nun, ay nako, nagdilim talaga ang paningin ko. Gusto ko sanang sabihing kagagaling ko lang ng ortigas tapos babalik na naman ako doon para sumakay ng bus papuntang Makati at magtiis sa traffic, no way!! Pukulin na lang kita ng takong ng sapatos ko.

Pero cool lang naman ako eh. Nakangiti pa nga akong lumabas ng cafe sabay tumawid patungong JRU at sumakay ng jeep papuntang Hulo.

From Hulo, meron doong terminal ng bangka para makatawid ka from Mandaluyong to Makati crossing Pasig River. Jusku every time na tumatawid ako dun, naalala ko yung hirit sakin ng officemate kong TS (Transexual) na nung minsang sinabay daw niya yung ex-colleague namin na entremedidang model-modelan na tsinuktsak sa office matapos tarayan si Mami Athena, sumigaw ba naman sa loob ng bangka nang "Gosh, its soooo like Bangkok!" Ang pootah, sabi ko nga dapat tinulak niya sa ilog yung babaeng yun para nalaman niya ang difference ng Bangkok sa Maynila eh.

After 30 minutes of gruelling alikabok, traffic, mabantot na katabi sa jeep at sobrang taas na pamasahe. Nakarating rin ako ng ExportBank Plaza. Unang bumulaga sakin yung cutie na receptionist na kapag nakikita ako eh madalas nakangiti saken.

Ten minutes past 11, nag-eexam na naman ulit ako. Ngayon naman, write daw ako ng PR article about this certain website in the internet. It should be 600 words and must be rephrased completely. Heto na naman, windang ever na ulit ako. Jusme, nung nasa Infinite (PR company) nga ako, happy na sila sa 1 page article na sinulat ko. Eto 600 words... over my dead body! Gusto ko nga magbackout nang biglang may bumulong sakin na.

"Galingan mo ha Rica ka dito."

Kaya ako naman eh biglang nagbanat ng braso, sabay twinkle ng mga mata at ginalingan ko ang aking ginagawang article.

Wish ko lang, maging finalist ako sa karir pageant nila.

---

Hayun lang naman ang nangyari sa araw ko. The rest of my kwento is just below... dun sa kadramahan section ko.

But before I forget, ever since nagwork ako sa aking present company ngayon, hindi matatapos ang isang araw na merong textmate na magsasabi sakin na "Do you shave your pussy?"

Tangina, kagabi burat na burat ako sa bahay... nakakita ako ng gunting at... extrang Gilette mula dun sa anik anik na binili ko sa Cherry's 2 weeks ago.

Amp, kapag next time talaga na may nagtanong sakin nang "Do you shave your pussy?"

Hihiritan ko talaga nang "wanna suck may shaved birdie?"

Ewan ko lang kung hindi agad-agad, terminated ako. Wehehehe.

Notes From The Gran Emissario

Royal affirmations were given today from the worlds visited by my emissaries this week.

Although most of them only hinted their interest to annex me as part of their dominion, the mere fact I recieved a favorable response from them made me more confident in moving out and seeking my new patron. Still, my overlord hasn't responded yet to my formal apology and it is really pushing me to send more emissaries in hopes of securing my interests in the event of being dropped off in the middle of interstellar space.

Now I am convinced that he took my blunder personally. Too bad, he never gave me a chance to vindicate myself.

The last Royal Audience I had today was very enticing. A court elite hinted that I should do good in impressing their patron for the elite said her graciousness is very known for her opulence. The gran emissario reported to me that I could be recieving as much as twice as what my present lord provides for me.

Although the services I am obliged to give to their patron would be twice as difficult as I am giving my overlord, her graciousness is quite too difficult not to take notice.

Right now, there are three worlds out there who are interested in taking me in. Im pretty sure that by next week, such worlds might even double. The longer my overlord alienates me and the more I looses his favor despite my efforts to improve my realm.

The more I begin to resent and see the whole issue as something that is unfair for me..

Now that I have a go signal from my mom despite her reservations for me to use the jump gate going to another world once again,

Then I guess, I could begin to write the first few sentences of my famous secession speech.

---

On the other hand.

I visited my former patron and paid gestures for the good memories I had with them.

Indeed, despite the hardships I have experienced before under their control. Despite the overtimes and 6-day tolling I have done for them, our pioneering works had paid off.

Right now, more opportunities are coming their way. My supervisor, who had done me all the kindness and understanding a good guider could ever give, looks much more better and less haggard than the last time we saw each other.

I told her my issue, and she adviced me to save my own ass.

But what touched me most is her revelation, of what I gave to the team we have pioneered that brought them to the victorious state they are today.

She told me that I was the one who introduced to them the wonders of wikipedia. The wonderful website that lets its users tap humanity's knowledge with just one click of the search button. She said, it was my legacy and it proved to be very useful to their efforts.

Her words made me smile. At least, I have not been a bad apple to them.

Her words had become my inspiration now that I am beginning to doubt whether am I spreading enlightenment, or have I become a bearer of pandemonium.

Resolutions and Realizations - Act One

And so, the counter strike begins.

In order to protect myself from the looming termination, I began sending my "emissaries" to different "worlds" across the "universe." Somehow, my actions made me sane for a while since it seems like there are a lot of "worlds" out there that needed my "talents." Although that means competition and new adjustments, I guess this is better than spending a Chrismas completely penniless.

As of the moment, I still cannot divulge the names of the "worlds" where my "emissaries" had been to. Suffice to say, the "emissaries" made some progress. In some ways, I am beginning to feel that what my boss did after was an injustice. I am starting to think that he took the incident that happened personally.

Like what I've said in the comment box, there were others in the office who did more major blunders than me. But they never experience the scourge that fell upon me. Even though I was late for 10 out of 11 days, there were others who were late for 11 days. Sinulit ba. The others guys would not even inform the boss if ever they will gonna be absent. At least ako, kahit absent sa work, sa bahay nagtratrabaho.

So even though I was late all the time, I never incurred any absences.

Besides, I have this gut feeling that Rica Paralejo is insinuating the boss to turn against me. I don't know why he hated me so badly when in fact, I never did something to him. Am I just paranoid? I don't know? But I observed that ever since the boss berated me last Sunday, Rica seems to be in high spirits during the two days we have been in the same shift together.

It's like he's telling me... "buti nga sayo, sipa ka na."

I don't want to sound bitter about it. But honestly, if ever things won't change after the boss returns from his business trip abroad. If he continues to dedma me at work, I will surely resign out of delicadeza. I swear, I won't wait for the time when he would bluntly tell me straight to my face to leave the office.

I can't simply accept such humiliation.

Anyway, Let's give the situation at least two weeks for things to take its course. As of the moment, I would intensify the overhaul of my image so that he would see drastic improvements the moment he sees my progress report at the end of the month.

---

On the other hand, the incident made me appreciate my job in a different light.

Ever since last sunday, I began to reach out to our goddess in Australia. I was even making bola to her, just to implicitly say that "if ever they kick me out here, I hope you would intervene on my behalf."

As day passes, I feel like my death comes near. I have began to feel a sense of higher respect for my job, my cyber "boyfriends," "flirtmates" and "girlfriends" and of course, Mami Athena, who had been my number one protector every time someone bosses around me.

I have began to treat my job in a very special way, because I feel that I would be loosing it sometime in the future - perhaps because of termination, or even resignation.

Guess this is how you feel when you know that your time of passing is near... everything becomes much more special because you know,

Those things you hold dear would eventually come to an end.