Ispluk From The Mother Of All Manghahada

In fairness naikot ko ata ang buong Maynila buong araw. Paano ba naman, ngayon na-ischeduleyung dalawang chorva ko from new pastures elsewhere kaya hayun, umaga pa lang, instead na nag byu-beauty sleep ako eh larga kaagad ako from my balay.

First stop Ortigas. Dun sa building kung saan nagwork ako dati as a telemarketer of substandard printer inks in the US. Jusku, pressure talaga ang work na yun mga ateng. Halos pagpawisan talaga ka ng malapot bumenta lang sa mga Kanong walang alam sabihin sayo kundi "I'm not interested" or "this is a scam, fuck off asshole!!" Alam mo na, marami kasing madaling mabola sa US of A eh.

Pagdating ko dun eh 5 minutes akong late. Pekpek sila eh! Advance ang time nila sa time ko (kahit 30 minutes advanced ang orasan ko). Nung una, gulat pa ang receptionist dahil bakit daw lumitaw ang kagandahan ko dun samantalang hindi naman ako kasama sa list.

Cherva ko, "you told me to return today to take my exam... chorva chorva." Pero hindi naman ako nagtataray. Tamang pagpapaliwanag lang.

Hayun, after 20 minutes na pag-iintay at pang-iisplukan sa mga katabi kong applicant rin tungkol sa dati kong call center na tsismax ng cutie kong officemate eh pinapatayo sila for more than 8 hours every day habang nagtatake ng live calls at ispluk naman nila eh pinagbebenta raw ng daing na bangus yung mga call center agents dun sa CC (Call Center) sa baba ng floor namin,

pinag-exam rin nila ako.

Ang exam. Abstract reasoning. Ang pootah, kauma-umaga pinag-isip kaagad ako tungkol sa anong mga shapes ang naiba. Siguro after answering for a while, nahilo na rin ako. Bet ko natalagang mag-minimi-minimi minimo para makalayas lalo na't nagets ko na meron rin silang outbound account.

Ewan ko ba, after ata nung nag-apply ako sa Convergys several months ago, parang naging allergic ako sa mga call centers.

---

Eventually, natapos rin ako ng exams pero talagang windang na akong lumabas ng Orient. Kala ko nga magfa-paint ako sa kalsada dahil parang for a moment naging blanko ang paninginko. Wala pang 30 minutes ay natagpuan ko na ang sarili ko sa Kalentong. Kelangan kong magpa-print ng bagong "R" para dun sa next company na aaplayan ko sa Makati.

Mura naman ang printing kaya keri lang. Pero jusku ang pamasahe. Dun ata naubos ang budget ko for today.

Tinanong ko yung ale kung ano ang pinakamabilis na way papuntang Makati. Chorva nya, sakay daw ako papuntang Pasig tapos bumaba ako sa Crossing. Nung pagkasabi niya nun, ay nako, nagdilim talaga ang paningin ko. Gusto ko sanang sabihing kagagaling ko lang ng ortigas tapos babalik na naman ako doon para sumakay ng bus papuntang Makati at magtiis sa traffic, no way!! Pukulin na lang kita ng takong ng sapatos ko.

Pero cool lang naman ako eh. Nakangiti pa nga akong lumabas ng cafe sabay tumawid patungong JRU at sumakay ng jeep papuntang Hulo.

From Hulo, meron doong terminal ng bangka para makatawid ka from Mandaluyong to Makati crossing Pasig River. Jusku every time na tumatawid ako dun, naalala ko yung hirit sakin ng officemate kong TS (Transexual) na nung minsang sinabay daw niya yung ex-colleague namin na entremedidang model-modelan na tsinuktsak sa office matapos tarayan si Mami Athena, sumigaw ba naman sa loob ng bangka nang "Gosh, its soooo like Bangkok!" Ang pootah, sabi ko nga dapat tinulak niya sa ilog yung babaeng yun para nalaman niya ang difference ng Bangkok sa Maynila eh.

After 30 minutes of gruelling alikabok, traffic, mabantot na katabi sa jeep at sobrang taas na pamasahe. Nakarating rin ako ng ExportBank Plaza. Unang bumulaga sakin yung cutie na receptionist na kapag nakikita ako eh madalas nakangiti saken.

Ten minutes past 11, nag-eexam na naman ulit ako. Ngayon naman, write daw ako ng PR article about this certain website in the internet. It should be 600 words and must be rephrased completely. Heto na naman, windang ever na ulit ako. Jusme, nung nasa Infinite (PR company) nga ako, happy na sila sa 1 page article na sinulat ko. Eto 600 words... over my dead body! Gusto ko nga magbackout nang biglang may bumulong sakin na.

"Galingan mo ha Rica ka dito."

Kaya ako naman eh biglang nagbanat ng braso, sabay twinkle ng mga mata at ginalingan ko ang aking ginagawang article.

Wish ko lang, maging finalist ako sa karir pageant nila.

---

Hayun lang naman ang nangyari sa araw ko. The rest of my kwento is just below... dun sa kadramahan section ko.

But before I forget, ever since nagwork ako sa aking present company ngayon, hindi matatapos ang isang araw na merong textmate na magsasabi sakin na "Do you shave your pussy?"

Tangina, kagabi burat na burat ako sa bahay... nakakita ako ng gunting at... extrang Gilette mula dun sa anik anik na binili ko sa Cherry's 2 weeks ago.

Amp, kapag next time talaga na may nagtanong sakin nang "Do you shave your pussy?"

Hihiritan ko talaga nang "wanna suck may shaved birdie?"

Ewan ko lang kung hindi agad-agad, terminated ako. Wehehehe.

Notes From The Gran Emissario

Royal affirmations were given today from the worlds visited by my emissaries this week.

Although most of them only hinted their interest to annex me as part of their dominion, the mere fact I recieved a favorable response from them made me more confident in moving out and seeking my new patron. Still, my overlord hasn't responded yet to my formal apology and it is really pushing me to send more emissaries in hopes of securing my interests in the event of being dropped off in the middle of interstellar space.

Now I am convinced that he took my blunder personally. Too bad, he never gave me a chance to vindicate myself.

The last Royal Audience I had today was very enticing. A court elite hinted that I should do good in impressing their patron for the elite said her graciousness is very known for her opulence. The gran emissario reported to me that I could be recieving as much as twice as what my present lord provides for me.

Although the services I am obliged to give to their patron would be twice as difficult as I am giving my overlord, her graciousness is quite too difficult not to take notice.

Right now, there are three worlds out there who are interested in taking me in. Im pretty sure that by next week, such worlds might even double. The longer my overlord alienates me and the more I looses his favor despite my efforts to improve my realm.

The more I begin to resent and see the whole issue as something that is unfair for me..

Now that I have a go signal from my mom despite her reservations for me to use the jump gate going to another world once again,

Then I guess, I could begin to write the first few sentences of my famous secession speech.

---

On the other hand.

I visited my former patron and paid gestures for the good memories I had with them.

Indeed, despite the hardships I have experienced before under their control. Despite the overtimes and 6-day tolling I have done for them, our pioneering works had paid off.

Right now, more opportunities are coming their way. My supervisor, who had done me all the kindness and understanding a good guider could ever give, looks much more better and less haggard than the last time we saw each other.

I told her my issue, and she adviced me to save my own ass.

But what touched me most is her revelation, of what I gave to the team we have pioneered that brought them to the victorious state they are today.

She told me that I was the one who introduced to them the wonders of wikipedia. The wonderful website that lets its users tap humanity's knowledge with just one click of the search button. She said, it was my legacy and it proved to be very useful to their efforts.

Her words made me smile. At least, I have not been a bad apple to them.

Her words had become my inspiration now that I am beginning to doubt whether am I spreading enlightenment, or have I become a bearer of pandemonium.

Resolutions and Realizations - Act Two

Speaking of death and things you hold dearly, I made sure that I would leave home this morning after the sun has already appeared.

Of course, I won't take the risk of being late again, but I have to do it because I will have to cross the street where the girl was crushed to death yesterday afternoon.

I simply can't bear to see the spot where she was crushed, cause I would be reminded of how grotesque she looked like in my imagination after a ten-wheeler ran over her.

When I arrived at the intersection, the spot where her mutilated body used to lie was still covered in lumps of newspapers. It seems like her things were still scattered on the spot since trails were still seen from where I am crossing.

Anyway, I found out in the news this evening that the girl was run over by the truck because she was texting while crossing the street. She never paid attention to the truck, who was just beside her at that moment.

Such worthless and useless death. These are the things that makes me really really upset.

---

Her tragedy reinforced my spiritual beliefs once again.

The thought of Phanks crossing the same street when he sleeps over my place; thoughts of my friends crossing such busy intersections whenever they go to work; thoughts of my loved ones suffering the same tragedy, simply scared me to death.

I scan't bear to accept such tragedy befalling upon me.

That is why ever since last night, I've been talking to religious icons again.

I've been asking God to protect my loved ones and the closest people around me in exchange for doing good things and harvesting positive karma.

Because of all the things that scared me most, it is to experience in this lifetime death in a worthless, useless, tragic, inhuman and grotesque way.

I will give everything a human can ever give, just to ensure that such tragedy would never befall upon me.

God, never in this lifetime.

Resolutions and Realizations - Act One

And so, the counter strike begins.

In order to protect myself from the looming termination, I began sending my "emissaries" to different "worlds" across the "universe." Somehow, my actions made me sane for a while since it seems like there are a lot of "worlds" out there that needed my "talents." Although that means competition and new adjustments, I guess this is better than spending a Chrismas completely penniless.

As of the moment, I still cannot divulge the names of the "worlds" where my "emissaries" had been to. Suffice to say, the "emissaries" made some progress. In some ways, I am beginning to feel that what my boss did after was an injustice. I am starting to think that he took the incident that happened personally.

Like what I've said in the comment box, there were others in the office who did more major blunders than me. But they never experience the scourge that fell upon me. Even though I was late for 10 out of 11 days, there were others who were late for 11 days. Sinulit ba. The others guys would not even inform the boss if ever they will gonna be absent. At least ako, kahit absent sa work, sa bahay nagtratrabaho.

So even though I was late all the time, I never incurred any absences.

Besides, I have this gut feeling that Rica Paralejo is insinuating the boss to turn against me. I don't know why he hated me so badly when in fact, I never did something to him. Am I just paranoid? I don't know? But I observed that ever since the boss berated me last Sunday, Rica seems to be in high spirits during the two days we have been in the same shift together.

It's like he's telling me... "buti nga sayo, sipa ka na."

I don't want to sound bitter about it. But honestly, if ever things won't change after the boss returns from his business trip abroad. If he continues to dedma me at work, I will surely resign out of delicadeza. I swear, I won't wait for the time when he would bluntly tell me straight to my face to leave the office.

I can't simply accept such humiliation.

Anyway, Let's give the situation at least two weeks for things to take its course. As of the moment, I would intensify the overhaul of my image so that he would see drastic improvements the moment he sees my progress report at the end of the month.

---

On the other hand, the incident made me appreciate my job in a different light.

Ever since last sunday, I began to reach out to our goddess in Australia. I was even making bola to her, just to implicitly say that "if ever they kick me out here, I hope you would intervene on my behalf."

As day passes, I feel like my death comes near. I have began to feel a sense of higher respect for my job, my cyber "boyfriends," "flirtmates" and "girlfriends" and of course, Mami Athena, who had been my number one protector every time someone bosses around me.

I have began to treat my job in a very special way, because I feel that I would be loosing it sometime in the future - perhaps because of termination, or even resignation.

Guess this is how you feel when you know that your time of passing is near... everything becomes much more special because you know,

Those things you hold dear would eventually come to an end.

Stand Alone Complex

If he won't respond to my formal... I really don't have a choice but to brace myself for impact.

One thing I really hate about myself is I tend to be paranoid and think about things that would immediately protect my interest and well being, without judging its long-term effects on me.

I tend to flee in case of severe distress.

And I think I am approaching a very turbulent moment in my career life right now.

So now, I am making my initial moves. This is something that involves my pride already. This is something that never did happen to me, nor I saw before.

If I knew this would come, if I knew that such minor blunder would get massive like this... Then

I should have accepted the bigger and more securing opportunites given to me before.

A price for loyalty unrealized...

Well, this is really it.

I have two weeks, to make my preparations for my next next move.

Hopefully, my portfolio can bring me to places...

away from here.

While In The News

Dumating ako sa bahay matapos makitulog sa bahay ng kaibigan. Pagdating na pagdating ko, tyempo ko kaagad ang bagong yaya, nanunuod sa channel 2. Eh sa bahay, siya lang ang katangi-tanging Kapuso kaya ako naman biglang nagtaka.

Yun pala, balita sa TV na tayo daw ang title holder ng Miss International this year. Hindi ko na masyadong pinakinggan ang balita dahil mas inuna ko muna ang pag-ebak kesa makinig sa balitang magpapatumbling ng mga bading at mga beauty queen wannabee.

Pagbalik ko sa harap ng TV. Gulat ako. Hirit ba naman ni Karen Davila, meron daw gusto makibati sa bagong Miss International live sa TV. Isip ko nung una baka boyfriend o kaya number one fan lang.

Ampota, gulat ako nung narinig ko ang boses ni GMA.

Shet, anubatu! Dati rati deadma galore lang ako pag pinagbibintangan nilang may pagkashowbiz ek-ek etong ating presidente. Pero kanina talaga, tawang tawa ako kasi pati ba naman yun pinatulan. At wag ka ha, LIVE ang paggawad niya ng congratulations. Mukha atang desperate na naman sa attention itong si Ate Glo.

Lalo pa akong na-amuse ng biglang pinakita ang mukha ni GMA na nagcocongratulate straight from Malacanang. Sabi ko sa sarili ko, over na talaga ito. Habang pinagmamasdan ang kanyang ngiting poodle, sa isip isip ko, hindi kaya ito si Ate Glow na nagkukunwaring si GMA? Pinagmasdan ko ulit... ayyyy hindi nga!! Ngiti pa lang, Gloryang Glorya na!

---

Anyway, mixed reaction naman si ako. A part of me says, kaplastikan at showbiz ito. On the other hand naman, medyo heartwarming na mismong pangulo ng bansa mo, makijoin sa ka-jologan na nagaganap sa ating telebisyon - 21st century style.

I bet, sobrang touched ang ating bagong Miss International. I smell a new showbiz/advertising hotcake olredi!!!

Its fun to have an uber-media savvy leader from time to time. Wala lang.

Matapos kaya nito, ilang bading bukas ang magpapalit ng kanilang girlash name? Ilan kaya ang magsasabing ang bago nilang pangalan ay Precious Lara Quigaman at hindi Gionna Cabrera. Wala lang, minsan naiisip ko, why do many gays love to imitate females? Samantalang ang sarap naman maging bading na masculine.

Which reminds me, last Saturday nuod kami ng Masahista sa UP Film Theater. Aba, pagkatapos ng movie, dalawa kaagad sa tropa ko ang nagcla-claim na sila daw si Jacklyn Jose at bet nila ulitin ang mga lines na inispluk ng babae sa movie.

Wooops, mali ata etong attack kong to ah. I forgot, ako nga pala si Jen Marasigan. Hehehe.

---

Lastly, nagtext ang utol ko. Meron daw FEU student na nasagasaan sa kanto namin. Nagkalat daw ang utak sa kalye. Ewan ko ba, mukhang sinumpa ata yung intersection na yun ng Ramon Magsaysay. Andami dami talagang naaksidente sa lugar na yun.

Which reminds me again, 48 years ago I was crossing the same street. There was a slow moving truck in front of me. Suddenly, a speeding car had overtaken the truck. Tamang tama, nandun ako sa lane kung saan ang trajectory nung kotse. God, I was just inches away from certain death that night! I was so grateful that I reacted immediately at nakatalon ako sa bangketa within a matter or nanoseconds.

Anyway, if that happens a while ago, baka nakasalubong ko pa yung estudyanteng yun habang naglalakad ako pauwi!

Baka naman nakasakay ko pa yun sa FX minsan...

Ampota, hindi kaya kapitbahay namin yun!?!?

Creepy!

Dream Journals Three (Field Extension)

At first it was dark. I was in an old creepy house, probably in the living room while a single fluorescent bulb was lit up somewhere near the kitchen. Then I heard voices. They were whispering “marami dito” and “lahat sila nag-aagawan sa trono.”

Suddenly there was a commotion behind the curtains. It was a shadow figure of several men wrestling someone. I can’t remember exactly what happened next but there appeared a tiny guy, almost as big as my cellphone. He introduced himself to me. He’s like a sort of an emissary from the leader.

Then the scene changed. It was already morning and we’re on some suburban neighborhood. Other tiny men like him were already on the streets. It was some sort of a rush hour. Everyone is in hurry to get to their destination. The only difference was their vehicles were all made of wood and it was quite very exotic from ours.

This tiny guy who appeared to be my guide began introducing me to the folks on the streets. Suddenly, I saw myself towering above every structure that was in the area. Obviously, I was a giant in front of their eyes.

Then the scene changed again. I was driving a very old vehicle. Then it broke down into many parts and pieces. The small guys came into the rescue. They bought different car parts using their own devices and equipment and in a matter of seconds, the old car which I used to drive became brand new! It was like the new Mitsubishi Lancer…

End of Dream

--

I rarely sleep in somebody else’s place since I tend to be namamahay when I am not in my house. But since I have to lend something to a friend this afternoon which coincides with my body clock, my body automatically shuts down the moment I felt relaxed in his place.

Until now, I was still puzzled with my dream. I was thinking whether the tiny guys who accommodated me in my dream were real or not. I had a feeling though that they were entities – folks who dwell on the same place where my friend lives.

Whatever it is, I woke up feeling refreshed and lighthearted. I was so damn happy that I even texted my host about what happened. With a history of being harassed by entities on different occasion twice before,

This afternoon those entities that appeared in my dream made me feeling very welcome to stay in their realm.

Countdown To Termination

I woke up this morning from someone's phonecall.

It was my boss and he was calling from the US. He was extremely furious and his first words were "Asan Ka Na? Wala ka pa ba sa opisina? Anong oras na?!?!" Since I just woke up, I was perfectly defenseless.

Rolling out from the bed and into the computer. I told him that I am logging on from home, which was acceptable but not really a good resort. It was 6:30 and I said that I woke up late because I went out last night.

From there, his furiousness further increased. He was raging mad and I was recieving the full brunt of it.

Gee, I have already forgotten when was the last time I ate soap early in the morning. But it was really a wake-up call. Last month, I was late for 10 days out of 11 days of work.

A colleague caused one of our clients to back out because he was absent during at a critical shift of the day. Nobody took over his post so the clients were furious with our boss.

His irresponsibilities caused us to loose one account.

And today, what I did was an abuse. I am accepting my mistake and my irresponsibility. I should have gone to BED last night instead of going home so that I would go to work directly from the party.

Now, I have to accept the consequences of my actions. I hear a termination coming my way thats why I should look for another work on the papers this afternoon.

At least, I would be prepared to go... and perhaps its a good thing to move on... now.

Just the same, I enjoyed my job and the company I am working with. Too bad, its time for me to go.

Sophomore Dreams

The air was cold and very sweet. The ground was damp and quiet. From the top of a ridge somewhere in Pasig, the view of the Marikina Valley and the Sierra Madre beyond was a sight to behold.

The twinkling lights from human structures on the horizon was breathtaking. It was a saturday night and everyone was up to party. But for me, it was time to go home. Weary and exhausted from a monotonous life I am currently embracing, somehow those sweet, cold air reminds me of nostalgic remembrances;

that whispers into my ear like gentle voices which lulls my mind back in time.

--

It was the sophomore years. Padi's Antipolo was some dream I wanted to achieve. Back then, I just wanted to drive a car over there on a night like this with some very close friend I am deeply bonded with. Up there, we would play some senti songs on a car stereo while we talk about everything under the cover of the stars and the blinking lights of a sleeping city.

Back then, my sophomore bestfriend would often sleepover here in my house. Then at night, when everybody's sleeping, we would sneak out driving my dad's FX as our joyride vehicle.

Those were the days of carelessness and it doesn't matter to me if I drive without a licence or not. After all, responsibility wasn't a big word yet and impulse was always the one overriding my decisions.

Every night, I would spend an hour joyriding. Actually, I was teaching myself how to drive so that someday, I would get there and achieve whatever my heart desires. Slowly, it began to take its own shape. Only a license is what I needed before I could finally execute my wish... until yeah, time left me.

In my dreams, I would play songs by Semisonic, Cranberries and Bic Runga. I would play mellow songs while the easterly freezing winds blow into my face while we chill out and enjoy a breathtaking view. I wasn't gay then, but the whole reason why I wanted to be there in the first place is to get emotionally intimate with a guy bestfriend of mine.

Many years had passed and the dream patiently waited... until time comes, close straight friends found their own lives and the dream, no matter how it waited would never be achieved at all. The feelings are all gone and the moment... that was there was taken over by other dreams, which were more realistic and highly achievable.

Eventually, I got there using somebody else's car and with a different group of friends. I have sentied with some other chicks whom, had become part of my life.

But the memory of the dream remains...

And tonight, it so happened that I am reliving those sweet moments once again.

And somehow, I remembered you Dar. If only I was man enough to tell my feelings to you then. Even if you may not appreciate it, at least. Your memory won't live on till now.

These Are The Times Its Better To Be Dead

For Joms:


How To Be Dead
Snow Patrol



Please don't go crazy, if I tell you the truth
No you don't know what happened
And you never will if
You don't listen to me while I talk to the wall
This blanket is freezing, it's been out in the hall
Where you've had me for hours
Till I'm sure what I want
But darling I want the same thing that I wanted before
So sweetheart tell me what's up I won't stop no way


Please keep your hands down
And stop raising your voice
It's hardly what I'd be doing if you gave me a choice
It's a simple suggestion can you give me sometime
So just say yes or no
Why can't you shoulder the blame
Coz both my shoulders are heavy
From the weight of us both
You're a big boy now so let's not talk about growth
You've not heard a single word I have said...
Oh, my God


Please take it easy it can't all be my fault
I haven't made half the mistakes
That you've listed so far
Oh baby let me explain something
It's all down to drugs
At least I remember taking them and not a lot else
It seems I've stepped over lines
You've drawn again and again
But if the ecstacy's in the wit is definitely out
Dr. Jekyll is wrestling Hyde for my pride


---

I hope that someday you can tell Pulsar everything about it...