In Her Peace

We thought that she was just sleeping... that it was just a mere deep sleep she's going through.

For 24 hours, we patiently waited, prayed and hoped that one moment she would just open her eyes and wonder where she was and what happened to her.

After all, the doctors haven't had the slightest idea about her illness. All the laboratory test leads to normalcy. And with that thought in mind, the mood in the hospital was cheerful, if not optimistic.

We waited and waited... until the dreams were turning into nightmares. It was already past 24 hours and her condition remained the same. It never changed.

Come Saturday afternoon, I woke up late since I went out with my college straight friends for a reunion. I partied that entire night just to divert my thoughts away from sadness.

My sister and I were planning to leave home early so that we could be there to keep our aunt company. At that moment, we were advised by my mom that our lola would be transferred to the ICU if things would stay the same.

The thought of staying in the ICU delayed our departure from home. My reasoning tells me that maybe we would never have a place to stay. Perhaps, there were a lot of relatives over there. Besides, such place still bears some painful wounds in me. A year is not enough for some past to be forgotten that easily.

So instead, after eating our lunch, we went back to do our own affairs. I played Civilization 4 till late in afternoon; until the game made me sleepy from playing it.

My mom arrived from her meeting in the evening. She and my sister immediately prepared to leave, while I made up an excuse just to see Phanks since we haven't seen each other for a week. I told my mom that I would pay a visit to the Nazareno to pray for my grandmother.

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In the church, my mind was in disarray. I tried to focus while praying but I wasn't really paying attention to what I'm saying. My mind tells me that her time to leave is at hand.

That the Almighty is seriously thinking of calling her back, so that she would not suffer anymore.

One hour after my mom and my sister arrived in the hospital, I found myself at the very doors of the ICU. They were teary eyed when I saw them at the corner. Before that, my aunt forewarned me that my lola's condition turned worse. She had already oxygen tube inserted on her throat to help her breathe better.

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The whole ICU room was depressing. Sometimes, I still wonder how those people over there cope up with the fact that the place is a manifestation of sadness and loneliness here on Earth. Patients come, most them leave covered be a white blanket over their body. The ICU lounge wasn't a relief either: A designated elbow room space at the sides of the ICU itself. Some dearly companions stay there to hold a vigil, most stay to relax and take a deep breath before proceeding to the room to see loved ones in their most frail and sorry state.

If only they play classical music in that place. Perhaps, it would strike a balance between sadness and peace.

We left before midnight to pick up my sister who decided to pay a visit at a nearby Derma Clinic. We arrived home way past my bedtime. Good thing, I had enough sleep to wake up at 5 am in the morning.

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The sun came and silence prevailed in the family. The routine was already drawn up when suddenly at around 11 am in the morning.

The news broke out.

My lola suffered a massive bleeding on her brain at 3 am in the morning.

For several weeks, she compained that her life nowadays has been a misery to her. Being blind, and suffering from advanced signs of Alzheimer's Disease. It seems like a prayer has been answered.

Lola, won't wake up anymore.