While She Is Sleeping

I was in a state of waking dreams when the news arrived to me.

It was about my grandmother. My sister told me that she was just merely asking for a glass of warm milk, when suddenly her caregivers saw her slumped on her bed. It appears she was sleeping but whenever they try to wake her up, she simply doesn't respond.

Fifteen minutes into infinity, the news started to spread out. One of my aunts could not believe what happened, for hours earlier, she was as active as a goat, or a cow, or whatever animal that could describe her frail but active state.

My mom's sister who is in charge of taking care of her was already on her way back home. She is a doctor, so at least the hassles in getting into a hospital and even into admission was taken care of.

As the nation celebrated the victory of a hero, we were on the verge of a frantic state. Maybe the only consolation to everything that is happening was that, at least my grandmother appears to be sleeping. There were no traces of throwing off or an obvious appearance that she just had a stroke.

When we arrived at the emergency room at around lunch, we find her still sleeping... and unconcious. The doctors, couldn't find any apparent problem when they diagnosed her. It appears that she was just in a "deep sleep" and nothing more.

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However, the hospital where she was admitted still bears some of the most painful memories I've ever had recently. It was the same emergency room where my dad briefly stayed, and proclaimed serious... before he was transferred to PGH only to pass away days later.

It was the same hospital where my mom was rushed after she had an accident in our bathroom hours before my 23rd birthday.

And the time of our arrival was also the same time we arrived only to wait for the ambulance that was carrying my dad.

The memories remain, but for some reasons, I am calmer and less upset than the last two episodes I had with the same place.

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Now, it's been eight hours already and still she is "sleeping."

No matter how we try to wake her up, she just responds slighty, but there is no apparent and clear response that she is already concious.

Still, the doctors are conducting test to find out what happened. It might be a small stroke, but there's no concrete proof to support that. Maybe something else had happened.

But whenever I remember what my mom told me several days ago. When I remember how her mother complained that she is already tired of her life, her old age, her fragility.

I cannot help but think, she's already up for some good rest.

It may not be a permanent one, but still her body needs to cope up.

Besides, despite my apparent capacity to sense people who are about to pass away, this one remains vague and unclear.

I just hope that it's still not time for her to go, and that her soul is just recuperating

I hope she would be given a little more time...

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I rest my head
Between the bed and sky
Download my dread
Disarm my mind
Make it dry

- Dishwalla, Until I Wake Up