Mahal punta ako sa inyo. Mahabang kwento, intayin mo ako.
- Message received 1:oo am
---
Pls, sumagot ka naman. On the way na ako.
- Message received 1:21 am
---
Still sleeping. I saw myself comfortably tucked in an armchair just a few feet away from the bed, where my aunt was resting. Sleeping in the sofa beside me, was another aunt who actually took care of the patient. My buddy's text messages did not even stirred me. How could I hear or feel my phone vibrating, when the club music blaring on my headphone was all that my brain could hear at that moment?
But... there are things that reason could never explain. What I encountered soon after, would made me realize further more, why there is no need to be agnostic, or even an atheist in a life full of mysteries.
At exactly 2 am, something stirred me from my deep trance. I am not sure whether its because our patient got up to go to the bathroom, or my aunt, who thought that I was on the verge of falling from my armchair put a pillow in front of me. These slight, almost quiet actions was the one who roused me up. As a force of habit, the first thing I did when I woke up was to find my mobile phone and check who sent me messages while I was in dreamland.
I saw two text messages and a missed call from my mother.
When I saw that the two text messages came from Phanks, I immediately knew there was trouble. Reading it, I found out that he was already on his way home. The problem is, I was at the hospital looking after my aunt. To make things worse, my phone is almost battery empty. If I have to do something, I should do it fast and efficient.
I called my buddy immediately to check his whereabouts. At first the voice recorder said it was unattended. God, if you could only imagine how scared I felt when I heard this dreaded response.
I tried calling again. This time, his phone rang.
He told me that he was already at the convenience store, several blocks away from my house. "Just in time," I said to myself. When I had secured his exact location, I called our driver's cellphone. Nobody answered. Then I tried calling our landline. Still, nobody answered, probably my sister was online again. Then I tried calling my mom's mobile phone. She didn't answer, probably she was sleeping.
Out of desperation, I tried calling the driver's phone again. Fortunately, the maid answered. (note: our driver IS a lesbian) I gave her direct instructions to let Phanks in once he arrived. In order to alleviate her suspicions, (if there are) I told her a made-up story as to why my buddy will have to sleep over, even if I'm not present. She bought it, and in a matter of a few minutes, I heard the doorbell ringing.
It was my buddy. He finally arrived.
---
I called him a few minutes later. (after I tried calling my sister to ask her to get out of my room so my buddy could move in) He told me everything that happened. Indeed, he had to flee because things between him and his brother, and his other brother's drinking companion are getting violent. He said, he couldn't feel safe anymore over there so he had to run away, at the middle of the night.
I heard in the background my sister's voice. She was asking if my buddy had already eaten his dinner. He said he did. Since my sister wasn't far away when Phanks told me everything, I'm sure, she overheard our phone conversation - she might have even seen my buddy reduced to tears while recounting the events to me.
Then and there, I knew that explaining to my mother his situation wouldn't be as difficult as I had initially assumed. I already secured a go signal to let my partner stay through my sister's intercession.
My phone was kind enough to allow me to have another call - just to make sure my buddy had already settled in my room. It automatically shut down, shortly after saying goodnight to him.
---
I've been up for 48 hours and it seemed like the world had already pushed its weight over me. But when my buddy told me that he's already in my room, somehow I felt that a sharp needle was suddenly pulled out of my chest. It's like being released from an iv (intravenous penetration), which ironically, would be attached to my aunt's wrist the following morning.
I returned to my aunt's room to get some coins from my bag. I needed to smoke. Still they were peaceful in slumber, unaware of the most recent hurdle I've faced, while they were in dreamland. I sneaked out to buy a stick of cigarette a few steps away from the emergency room.
The smoke rings I puffed floated over my head. As I looked up to see them vanish into thin air, I saw the black moonless sky overhead. It reminded me of the unlimited possibilities that could have happened, if things were not meant to be in my favor.
Imagine, I could still be napping, unaware that my buddy was waiting for me to open the door of my house to let him in. He could have been hurt, during his confrontation with his drunk brother - might just receive a call that he's in an emergency room, receiving stitches on his head, or he could have met some accidents while his jeep flew from Valenzuela to Manila in a matter of 30 minutes. These possibilities made me cringe, when I thought of them.
But you know what, the very thing that dreaded me most, was the fact that I might have been his only lifeline during his entire ordeal. One mistake or shortcoming from my side, and it might have spelled greater trouble for buddy.
Looking back, the thought of being his only lifeline had always been my strongest argument for staying, when things get really bad between us. It's like it doesn't matter if we're not really in a very ideal relationship. What's important is that we have the connection. Even at times, it doesn't reveal itself clearly, when things are very uncertain, the link appears between us. This strong link is the very essence of why my relationship endures despite the temptations and attempts of liberation, I've written many times over in this blog.
I prayed the rosary when I returned to the suite.
Finally, after things have settled down and figured itself out in my dream, I woke up from my deep sleep, many hours later. In my bed, at home, being drilled by the very same man I just saved in my dream the night before.
- Message received 1:oo am
---
Pls, sumagot ka naman. On the way na ako.
- Message received 1:21 am
---
Still sleeping. I saw myself comfortably tucked in an armchair just a few feet away from the bed, where my aunt was resting. Sleeping in the sofa beside me, was another aunt who actually took care of the patient. My buddy's text messages did not even stirred me. How could I hear or feel my phone vibrating, when the club music blaring on my headphone was all that my brain could hear at that moment?
But... there are things that reason could never explain. What I encountered soon after, would made me realize further more, why there is no need to be agnostic, or even an atheist in a life full of mysteries.
At exactly 2 am, something stirred me from my deep trance. I am not sure whether its because our patient got up to go to the bathroom, or my aunt, who thought that I was on the verge of falling from my armchair put a pillow in front of me. These slight, almost quiet actions was the one who roused me up. As a force of habit, the first thing I did when I woke up was to find my mobile phone and check who sent me messages while I was in dreamland.
I saw two text messages and a missed call from my mother.
When I saw that the two text messages came from Phanks, I immediately knew there was trouble. Reading it, I found out that he was already on his way home. The problem is, I was at the hospital looking after my aunt. To make things worse, my phone is almost battery empty. If I have to do something, I should do it fast and efficient.
I called my buddy immediately to check his whereabouts. At first the voice recorder said it was unattended. God, if you could only imagine how scared I felt when I heard this dreaded response.
I tried calling again. This time, his phone rang.
He told me that he was already at the convenience store, several blocks away from my house. "Just in time," I said to myself. When I had secured his exact location, I called our driver's cellphone. Nobody answered. Then I tried calling our landline. Still, nobody answered, probably my sister was online again. Then I tried calling my mom's mobile phone. She didn't answer, probably she was sleeping.
Out of desperation, I tried calling the driver's phone again. Fortunately, the maid answered. (note: our driver IS a lesbian) I gave her direct instructions to let Phanks in once he arrived. In order to alleviate her suspicions, (if there are) I told her a made-up story as to why my buddy will have to sleep over, even if I'm not present. She bought it, and in a matter of a few minutes, I heard the doorbell ringing.
It was my buddy. He finally arrived.
---
I called him a few minutes later. (after I tried calling my sister to ask her to get out of my room so my buddy could move in) He told me everything that happened. Indeed, he had to flee because things between him and his brother, and his other brother's drinking companion are getting violent. He said, he couldn't feel safe anymore over there so he had to run away, at the middle of the night.
I heard in the background my sister's voice. She was asking if my buddy had already eaten his dinner. He said he did. Since my sister wasn't far away when Phanks told me everything, I'm sure, she overheard our phone conversation - she might have even seen my buddy reduced to tears while recounting the events to me.
Then and there, I knew that explaining to my mother his situation wouldn't be as difficult as I had initially assumed. I already secured a go signal to let my partner stay through my sister's intercession.
My phone was kind enough to allow me to have another call - just to make sure my buddy had already settled in my room. It automatically shut down, shortly after saying goodnight to him.
---
I've been up for 48 hours and it seemed like the world had already pushed its weight over me. But when my buddy told me that he's already in my room, somehow I felt that a sharp needle was suddenly pulled out of my chest. It's like being released from an iv (intravenous penetration), which ironically, would be attached to my aunt's wrist the following morning.
I returned to my aunt's room to get some coins from my bag. I needed to smoke. Still they were peaceful in slumber, unaware of the most recent hurdle I've faced, while they were in dreamland. I sneaked out to buy a stick of cigarette a few steps away from the emergency room.
The smoke rings I puffed floated over my head. As I looked up to see them vanish into thin air, I saw the black moonless sky overhead. It reminded me of the unlimited possibilities that could have happened, if things were not meant to be in my favor.
Imagine, I could still be napping, unaware that my buddy was waiting for me to open the door of my house to let him in. He could have been hurt, during his confrontation with his drunk brother - might just receive a call that he's in an emergency room, receiving stitches on his head, or he could have met some accidents while his jeep flew from Valenzuela to Manila in a matter of 30 minutes. These possibilities made me cringe, when I thought of them.
But you know what, the very thing that dreaded me most, was the fact that I might have been his only lifeline during his entire ordeal. One mistake or shortcoming from my side, and it might have spelled greater trouble for buddy.
Looking back, the thought of being his only lifeline had always been my strongest argument for staying, when things get really bad between us. It's like it doesn't matter if we're not really in a very ideal relationship. What's important is that we have the connection. Even at times, it doesn't reveal itself clearly, when things are very uncertain, the link appears between us. This strong link is the very essence of why my relationship endures despite the temptations and attempts of liberation, I've written many times over in this blog.
I prayed the rosary when I returned to the suite.
Finally, after things have settled down and figured itself out in my dream, I woke up from my deep sleep, many hours later. In my bed, at home, being drilled by the very same man I just saved in my dream the night before.
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