---
It should be my sister doing this, not me.
Since I am the fastest encoder in the family, my mom asked me to type the chronology of events, detailing the things that happened during the last few years of our family business after my dad passed away. She said, the new lawyer asked her to prepare a draft so he would understand where to start over. Although, I don't want to associate myself anymore to the nightmares I endured for two years after I graduated from college, doing this task forced me to remember the events that lead to our downfall.
It was a very disheartening experience, especially now that age allows me to see where I fell short to prevent the disasters that happened.
I won't go into details as to what had happened, for the blog had witnessed too many entries devoted to that part of my life. Nevertheless, now that I'm forced to type and edit (meaning, provide concrete details to the events which mom barely understands), I feel a sense of injustice having to be reminded of these things again. It should be my sister who needs a bucket of cold water thrown at her. I'm tired of remembering my own mortality every time there's a problem with my dad's family business.
As I take one deep breath before I continue typing and editing my mother's draft document, I can't help but wonder whether there would come a time I would really be free from all these miseries. Sometimes, in my wildest dreams, I still fantasize taking two good-paying jobs, a graduate study course in the university and a consistent work-out routine all at the same time, just to distract myself from the reality that time is never on my side.
I know, it's just a matter of moments before another trouble comes in.
And what's so sad about it is that I haven't move on from the past, my sister still drifts on the edges of his college existence, instead of providing financial support for the household and I myself begins to drift aimlessly as well, fending off the truth that even at this advanced age,
I still don't know how to make the most out of life.
Since I am the fastest encoder in the family, my mom asked me to type the chronology of events, detailing the things that happened during the last few years of our family business after my dad passed away. She said, the new lawyer asked her to prepare a draft so he would understand where to start over. Although, I don't want to associate myself anymore to the nightmares I endured for two years after I graduated from college, doing this task forced me to remember the events that lead to our downfall.
It was a very disheartening experience, especially now that age allows me to see where I fell short to prevent the disasters that happened.
I won't go into details as to what had happened, for the blog had witnessed too many entries devoted to that part of my life. Nevertheless, now that I'm forced to type and edit (meaning, provide concrete details to the events which mom barely understands), I feel a sense of injustice having to be reminded of these things again. It should be my sister who needs a bucket of cold water thrown at her. I'm tired of remembering my own mortality every time there's a problem with my dad's family business.
As I take one deep breath before I continue typing and editing my mother's draft document, I can't help but wonder whether there would come a time I would really be free from all these miseries. Sometimes, in my wildest dreams, I still fantasize taking two good-paying jobs, a graduate study course in the university and a consistent work-out routine all at the same time, just to distract myself from the reality that time is never on my side.
I know, it's just a matter of moments before another trouble comes in.
And what's so sad about it is that I haven't move on from the past, my sister still drifts on the edges of his college existence, instead of providing financial support for the household and I myself begins to drift aimlessly as well, fending off the truth that even at this advanced age,
I still don't know how to make the most out of life.
No comments:
Post a Comment