Bunny Interludes Ten

Give me a reason to love you

Give me a reason to be ee,

a woman,

I just wanna be a woman

- Portishead, Glorybox

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For some reasons, the song above played on my head as it played on my mp3 player while I was crossing the street going home from the gym yesterday evening. Picture a tall, stocky guy wearing a light blue jogging pants and rugged dark blue t-shirt that exposes parts of his biceps and shoulders while singing this song as pedestrians walked in front of him.

After much speculation whether I'd transfer to another gym after my former instructor's colleague told me that he would be leaving as well, or whether I'd scrap the whole work-out project altogether; In one sweeping swiping of my plastic, I decided to extend my gym membership for another three months. That means I'd be forced to work-out even though I feel so burned out already.

But there is a twist to my new arrangement. Instead of going to the gym three times a week, I just paid for eight sessions a month which roughly translates to twice a weeks worth of gym access. I told myself than since I have this new habit of walking the entire stretch of Katipunan from UP to Aurora whenever I go home from school, maybe a deduction of sessions in the gym would save my entire project from being scrapped thanks to my growing lack of interest of continuing my session.

After paying for my dues, I went directly to the gym instructor in charge which is my former instructor's colleague and asked him to give me a new program for my new work-out schedule. He immediately complied and soon after I finished my 30-minute cardio, I got my new program.

Compared to the old one, this new program was designed for muscle-building. It means I would be pumping iron that would hopefully, give my chest, biceps, back and shoulders a much sleeker and firmer form. My initial plan was to shift to this program when I get to 160, but with the change of workout schedule, the initial plan had to go.

And what I did was pure hell.

Unlike my old routine which requires me to lift lighter weights with a higher number of reps, the new one would make me lift weights that are thrice heavier than the one I used to lift. It would require me to seek spotters all the time since my body is not adopted to such kind of strain. In fact, there was this one set which I would have to do an inclined bench press and a 12-rep pecs exercise without taking a rest. The gym instructor told me that I'm doing a "super-set" but I'd rather call it "glory be to the father set" due to the frequency I told myself "oh-my-god-how-would-I-lift-such-heavy-weight" kinda thing.

Anyways I guess you have an idea how extremely streneous my new program is. In fact, I thought I would get muscle cramps all over my upper body when I woke up this morning. Fortunately and surprisingly, my body appeared to adjust pretty well to the new program. If all goes well, my instructor told me that I might get a leaner and firmer frame by October. I would eventually be the one that will put my work-out project in a different kind of level after all.

But you know what, as I am beginning to see the results of my program, I begin to wonder why I am doing this work-out thing in the first place. Is it because of health? Im not sure if it is the main reason. Is it because of my clubbing activities? Not right now, in fact, I'm beginning to get tired of night-outs already. So what then, is it for sex? Initially yes, but when you begin to scare yourself out with your long past "irresponsibilities" no matter how relatively minor they were, you begin to loose interests in hook-up invitations eventually.

Even though you declined almost all of them even during your haydays.

So here I am extending my program for up to three months once again. Gone are the days of proving myself since I have already proven everything to those who have doubted me before. In fact, the only direction, or principle I can see myself clinging on to right now for doing this work-out thing again is the commitment.

I have already done too many things that revolutionized my lifestyle this year and I believe that as months come, I would have done more. Why stop now, when the momentum remains on an all time high?

Perhaps, part of the momentum is this work-out project, it must go on so that I would still have the drive to achieve as what I planned to do, or loose everything like stacks of dominoes dropping one by one.