What's The Story, Morning Glory?

So far...

I'm sick again. This time, I blame it to the weather, the people around me and the hectic schedule I have to juggle everyday. Fortunately, I'm spared from fever. Pero men the cough and the flu is so much hassle na.

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Thus, work out session become erratic again. I decided to stick to my old gym pala because I felt that the instructors in the new gym is only interested to help you in your work out so long as they become your "personal trainer." Paano na ang bodybuilding ko kung ganon? I told myself pa naman that I'd reach my target before October begins. Pero parang naglalaro lang ako eh. I don't even manage my diet very well.

Tsk. This is bad, really really bad.

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Buti na lang, after 1 month of doing the Railroad Project, the paper I submitted was considered praiseworthy according to my classmates. Imagine, during the workshop, nobody criticized my work negatively. I know that my essay was twice as long as what my classmates have submitted. The professor even said that I'm not following her rules daw.

Pero at least, no matter how long my essay is, nobody got bored with it. It was slow, but not dragging. The almost lifelike-details, the allusions and the poetic words, and the paragraph organization was enough for them not to feel lost while reading my essay.

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I volunteered to find a date for my friend. Pero mukhang nagba-backfire ata ang sideline ko dahil instead na makareto ako para sa kanya, ako ang nakakarir. I need to focus! Lalo pa't yung isang kinakaibigan ko eh natitipuhan ko rin. Haay buhay. Ngayon ko narealize na magpakita ka lang ng back pic sa mga lalaki dun, pagpyepyestahan na ang profile mo.

Anyway, no matter how I turned aggressive in my boy hunting these days, I can't help but remind myself all the time na huwag akong bwakaw. I know, some of them who checks out my profile are really within my taste. Pero did I show my face ba? Hindi. Katawan lang ang pinakita ko, gaya ng ginagawa ng karamihan dun.

At kahit siguro ano pang ikaganda ng katawan ko - I would always see myself as an inferior compared to my bets. Mabuti na rin siguro ang ganun, at least, laging nasa lupa ang mga paa ko. Hindi katulad ng ibang tao sa website na yun, mukha na ngang palaka, gagamit pa rin ng "cute" o kaya "hot" sa mga profile handle nila.

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And which reminds me. Phanks slept over in my place some nights ago. He needs to use my computer for some projects in school. The following day, I checked my internet cache to know what websites did my buddy visit the night before. Bah ang loko, may access pala sa manilagayguys.com at mukhang nagbrowse pa ata ng pictures ng mga lalaki. Hmm... nasa loob ata ang kulo niya ah. Anyway, maybe this is the justification as to why I should have a deterrent as well. Lagi niyang sinasabi na maraming nagfli-flirt sa kanya. Malay ko ba kung yung mga lakad niya tuwing sabado ng gabi eh gimik barkada talaga?

And you know what's weird about this discovery? I doesn't really affect me anymore. It's either I'm so secured with our relationship that nobody could easily break it apart, or I'm so confident with the tons of move-on strategies that I created to protect myself.

It's like having a standing army - whether in peacetime or wartime, I will always have the means to stand up alone, capable of moving on, even in truth I'm crumbling within already.

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Lastly, much as I would like to be optimistic about my master's degree. With the grades I'm getting in school, I am afraid that I won't last another semester in that university. Ok lang rin if things wouldn't work out according to plan. What matters is that I have impressed my classmates with the kind of writing I'm capable of.

I just hope that they would reconsider me though. You see, one of the things that makes my life a little bit interesting these days is the fact that I'm studying and working at the same time. The school gives me an impression that I'm growing as a person. Once they take it out of my system, I'd immediately feel that I'm becoming stagnant once again.