He would call me pwet as a form of endearment at a time when I didn't know how to bend over in front of someone yet. At a height of 5'2, he was the shortest among my tropa, yet his assertiveness and maturity completely contradicts the small frame and simple impression people has on him during first encounters.
Back then, he was my senti buddy. We would spend hours and hours talking about life, if not about alternative bands or hot chicks in the faculty. Among my five tropa back then, he was the one who makes me feel at ease whenever we would hang-out anywhere. Even after graduation, his personal invitation to a barkada reunion would always convince me to show up, despite my hesitation to make an appearance.
We last saw each other the previous year. He asked me if he could take a shower in my place since he's been running between two major news events that evening. Before that, we hanged out at a bar in Timog to catch up with each other's life. Our communication was only interrupted after he lost his mobile phone in a taxi cab. Despite my attempts to reach out, the only person who has actually managed to find him again is another tropa whose favorite expression is Awww Shit back in college.
---
"Pare ikakasama ko talaga ng loob pag hindi nagpakita yang si Jay sa sabado." were the words he relayed to a tropa who called me last week to inform me of the breaking news.
As it turns out, our friend got into an accident involving a girlfriend. Prematurely, he had to settle down and establish a family earlier than most of us had expected.
But it was a top secret affair. Not even our other tropa knows the news. After I recieved his verbal invitation to his firstborn's Baptism, I immediately filed for a special leave at work in order to attend such very special occassion.
This moment is too important to miss. "Isa siya sa mga tunay kong naging kaibigan sa college," I said to myself.
---
He showed up this morning at the parish wearing a faded cream slacks and a light-blue long-sleaves polo shirt. A tropa had jokingly mistaken him for the sakristan because of his petite height. A stranger, on the other hand, who shows up in the baptismal would surely never thinks of him as the father. Being shorter and younger than his wife, he could easily pass out as the little brother of the girl.
Since we arrived earlier than the other guests, he asked us to stay at his wife's place while waiting for the rest to arrive. Back in college, nobody among us knew about his family nor his home. Being the quiet, mysterious type of guy he is, we took the opportunity to know our friend better by talking to his mother and sisters about him.
The mass started at past 11 am. For all we know, it was a baptism of his son. However the vanilla cake displayed on the buffet table back in his wife's place tells of a different event. Our speculations were only confirmed when our tropa announces to us that he's gonna be married as well. As it turns out, the event wouldn't only be the christening of his kid but also the exchanging of vows between him and his wife.
While he and his wife were kneeling in front of the priest, I took my camera out of the bag and started walking near where the huge statue of Mama Mary stands at the center of a garden, that serves as an open-air altar. Despite having an official photographer, I can't help but let my urge overtake me. Being the photographer and preserver of pictures of the group back in school, it would be a great loss to us if we won't have any photos to show our other tropa of this very important part of our friend's life - his marriage.
As I took snapshots of him and his wife, snippets of memories begin to reemerge as each images were captured in my digicam. Back then, I just know him as a mere campus writer who joined the four of us after we needed an extra member to form a group for our academic projects. Soon, we discovered that we have the same interest in old-school alternative music such as Smashing Pumpkins and Our Lady Peace. Our interest in music leads to other subjects until we were already comfortable talking about our perversities with girls. On the sidelines we would talk about sentimental things since he is a good listener and his advises were extremely insightful especially whenever we are out in the field looking for news.
"Ang bilis talaga ng panahon," I told myself. As my friend and his wife were signing the final documents of their marriage, I've realized that sooner or later, my two companions who were with me would take their vows as well. I would become a ninong to one of their kids in some forseeable future, not far from this day.
As for my future, it will remain uncertain for a very long time. Despite my clear sexual orientation, such moments like baptismals and marriages - and reunions with my straight tropa reminds me that there is another option towards a more conventional life. I could choose between being a heterosexual father or a lonesome homosexual guy who would grow old alone and die longing for care and company.
Unless Phanks and I would remain together that options for adoption would be brought up at some point in our lives
As my friend carries his baby around during the reception, all I can think of is carrying my own junior as well.
In my mind, I can almost picture the own baptism of my son, with PLU and straight friends in the same pews. In some alternate future where things are changed drastically by some triggering factors, somehow such dream still endures, especially when the dustwinds of aging begins to penetrate your skin.
Back then, he was my senti buddy. We would spend hours and hours talking about life, if not about alternative bands or hot chicks in the faculty. Among my five tropa back then, he was the one who makes me feel at ease whenever we would hang-out anywhere. Even after graduation, his personal invitation to a barkada reunion would always convince me to show up, despite my hesitation to make an appearance.
We last saw each other the previous year. He asked me if he could take a shower in my place since he's been running between two major news events that evening. Before that, we hanged out at a bar in Timog to catch up with each other's life. Our communication was only interrupted after he lost his mobile phone in a taxi cab. Despite my attempts to reach out, the only person who has actually managed to find him again is another tropa whose favorite expression is Awww Shit back in college.
---
"Pare ikakasama ko talaga ng loob pag hindi nagpakita yang si Jay sa sabado." were the words he relayed to a tropa who called me last week to inform me of the breaking news.
As it turns out, our friend got into an accident involving a girlfriend. Prematurely, he had to settle down and establish a family earlier than most of us had expected.
But it was a top secret affair. Not even our other tropa knows the news. After I recieved his verbal invitation to his firstborn's Baptism, I immediately filed for a special leave at work in order to attend such very special occassion.
This moment is too important to miss. "Isa siya sa mga tunay kong naging kaibigan sa college," I said to myself.
---
He showed up this morning at the parish wearing a faded cream slacks and a light-blue long-sleaves polo shirt. A tropa had jokingly mistaken him for the sakristan because of his petite height. A stranger, on the other hand, who shows up in the baptismal would surely never thinks of him as the father. Being shorter and younger than his wife, he could easily pass out as the little brother of the girl.
Since we arrived earlier than the other guests, he asked us to stay at his wife's place while waiting for the rest to arrive. Back in college, nobody among us knew about his family nor his home. Being the quiet, mysterious type of guy he is, we took the opportunity to know our friend better by talking to his mother and sisters about him.
The mass started at past 11 am. For all we know, it was a baptism of his son. However the vanilla cake displayed on the buffet table back in his wife's place tells of a different event. Our speculations were only confirmed when our tropa announces to us that he's gonna be married as well. As it turns out, the event wouldn't only be the christening of his kid but also the exchanging of vows between him and his wife.
While he and his wife were kneeling in front of the priest, I took my camera out of the bag and started walking near where the huge statue of Mama Mary stands at the center of a garden, that serves as an open-air altar. Despite having an official photographer, I can't help but let my urge overtake me. Being the photographer and preserver of pictures of the group back in school, it would be a great loss to us if we won't have any photos to show our other tropa of this very important part of our friend's life - his marriage.As I took snapshots of him and his wife, snippets of memories begin to reemerge as each images were captured in my digicam. Back then, I just know him as a mere campus writer who joined the four of us after we needed an extra member to form a group for our academic projects. Soon, we discovered that we have the same interest in old-school alternative music such as Smashing Pumpkins and Our Lady Peace. Our interest in music leads to other subjects until we were already comfortable talking about our perversities with girls. On the sidelines we would talk about sentimental things since he is a good listener and his advises were extremely insightful especially whenever we are out in the field looking for news.
"Ang bilis talaga ng panahon," I told myself. As my friend and his wife were signing the final documents of their marriage, I've realized that sooner or later, my two companions who were with me would take their vows as well. I would become a ninong to one of their kids in some forseeable future, not far from this day.
As for my future, it will remain uncertain for a very long time. Despite my clear sexual orientation, such moments like baptismals and marriages - and reunions with my straight tropa reminds me that there is another option towards a more conventional life. I could choose between being a heterosexual father or a lonesome homosexual guy who would grow old alone and die longing for care and company.
Unless Phanks and I would remain together that options for adoption would be brought up at some point in our lives
As my friend carries his baby around during the reception, all I can think of is carrying my own junior as well.
In my mind, I can almost picture the own baptism of my son, with PLU and straight friends in the same pews. In some alternate future where things are changed drastically by some triggering factors, somehow such dream still endures, especially when the dustwinds of aging begins to penetrate your skin.
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