Closeted Lesbian

"Mas bagay ata akong lesbian kesa sa PLU..."

I told this jokingly to Zeki this morning.

Lately, I've had this feeling that aside from being attracted and aroused to guys, there's nothing that really connects me to the gay world. PLU (queer masculine men) are talking about divas, beauty pageants, QAF, Star In A Million (a reality show), telenovelas, etc., etc... even my bud will sometimes catch me unprepared when he starts conversing with me about his interests, which revolves around these themes. I know, I adore Cher, but that's it, I go to BED every week only to dance freely and drown myself in hard beats and House music. However, no matter how I try to relate to the general discussions, most gays talk about, I almost end up not relating at all.

Probably because I don't watch these programs and these things don't really interest me.

Weird thing is that I chatted with a lesbian some time ago and most of her interests - from Tracy Chapman to rock bands, to scenic locations and out-of-town places (aside from beaches and Puerto Galera), we jived. In fact, I can even smell lesbians-in-hiding myself. Pero shempre, it takes a little bit of chatting before I can use those senses. What matters is that most of the time, I feel that I belong to the lesbian' world than in my world.

Oh well, kanya-kanyang trip lang yan. As long as I don't fall for girls or... butches and as long as I can talk about men, men, and men with a fellow PLU. Then I'm sure that these lesbian tendencies remain a feeling and nothing more.

... On the other hand, why does the thought of vaginas rouse my curiosities lately? Weird...