He was there with me and his heartwarming presence ensures that no matter how many troubles and rebellions I wage against him, he will forever remain irreplaceable.
Today will go down in my history as the day my month-long, self-imposed domesticity was validated and reinforced by my buddy.
- A Massage To Remember, August 15, 2007
---
You are his family
- The Tripper, Yahoo Messanger
---
He arrived home last night trying to appear normal and cheerful despite his deteriorating health condition. For the past several days, demands at school and work had left him suffering from stress and overfatigue. It was further worsened by his stubbornness and perfectionist attitude that he even skip meals just to rush his papers. I told him many times to look after his health but he never listened. It even became a contention between us, until the previous day, when I bought him vitamins and Vicks Vaporub from my own dwindling resources.
He immediately went up to my room while I continued eating dinner and then taking a bath after. When I followed him upstairs later, I saw him lying on the bed still on his work clothes. By looking at how his face flushed and his body shivers, I knew that he was not feeling very well. His deep breathing and complains of muscle pains compelled me to do something in order to make his condition improve a little better.
---
I removed his shirt and pants and helped him change to a more comfortable outfit. His skin was burning with fever so I knew that my first goal is to make him sweat. Taking a cue as to what he had done before, I took from his bag the vaporub that I bought him previously.
Dabbing the ointment with my two fingers, I rubbed his body beginning with his chest going to his tummy. Whenever he gently held my hand to the part which hurts, I made sure to work on it by squeezing that body part in hopes that may gentle massage could take away the sore and pain from it.
I proceeded to his back by rubbing it with generous amount of ointment. I may not be a good masseur like him, but I still believe in the power of touch. My hands worked its way from his hips up to his shoulders, making sure that every sore of his was well attended. Finally, when every part of his body was completely covered by ointment, I wrapped him with a thick blanket and hugged him tight until he fell asleep in my arms. Occasionally he would cough in close proximity to me, but it does not matter. If a flu virus will put me down soon, at least it was from him and not from someone at work. At his most weakened state, the only thing that mattered to me was that I must be there for him;
He must never feel alone.
An hour later, his part of the bed was already drenched with sweat. His body temperature returned to normal and the flushing on his face already ceased. He was already feeling much better and was sound asleep while I watched over him.
---
As I looked at him sleeping beside me, I felt a slight sense of guilt knowing that these past few days, I discouraged him to stay at home to do his papers. You see, his frequency last week was close to being questioned at home, not only because of his mere presence, but his stay adds up to the valuable resources that we have to give up in order to accommodate him. Practicality is cruel, but that is how the world really works. Fortunately, nobody openly complained about his frequent stay over. However I felt that they were beginning to question his presence and his relationship to me.
For what it's worth, even if there are questions and doubts that surround my relationship with Phanks, what is important is that the essentials remain. As I have always said over and over again, infatuation deceives; love can be questioned and commitment can be twisted according to one's whims and capriciousness; Fidelity and exclusivity itself do get compromised. But when one knows where one's heart stay; when one still clearly knows who his priority is, I believe that any shortcomings can be overlooked. Moki once said that if the pieces does not work properly, then the whole will never function effectively at all.
In our case, I clearly see where our disabilities lie and I intend to leave things that way. Some of the pieces that complete us may not be there anymore, but so long as the need for us to remain together remains strong -
- like what happened last night.
The whole, which comprises the two of us will still work, even if surprise distractions come into our way.
Today will go down in my history as the day my month-long, self-imposed domesticity was validated and reinforced by my buddy.
- A Massage To Remember, August 15, 2007
---
You are his family
- The Tripper, Yahoo Messanger
---
He arrived home last night trying to appear normal and cheerful despite his deteriorating health condition. For the past several days, demands at school and work had left him suffering from stress and overfatigue. It was further worsened by his stubbornness and perfectionist attitude that he even skip meals just to rush his papers. I told him many times to look after his health but he never listened. It even became a contention between us, until the previous day, when I bought him vitamins and Vicks Vaporub from my own dwindling resources.
He immediately went up to my room while I continued eating dinner and then taking a bath after. When I followed him upstairs later, I saw him lying on the bed still on his work clothes. By looking at how his face flushed and his body shivers, I knew that he was not feeling very well. His deep breathing and complains of muscle pains compelled me to do something in order to make his condition improve a little better.
---
I removed his shirt and pants and helped him change to a more comfortable outfit. His skin was burning with fever so I knew that my first goal is to make him sweat. Taking a cue as to what he had done before, I took from his bag the vaporub that I bought him previously.
Dabbing the ointment with my two fingers, I rubbed his body beginning with his chest going to his tummy. Whenever he gently held my hand to the part which hurts, I made sure to work on it by squeezing that body part in hopes that may gentle massage could take away the sore and pain from it.
I proceeded to his back by rubbing it with generous amount of ointment. I may not be a good masseur like him, but I still believe in the power of touch. My hands worked its way from his hips up to his shoulders, making sure that every sore of his was well attended. Finally, when every part of his body was completely covered by ointment, I wrapped him with a thick blanket and hugged him tight until he fell asleep in my arms. Occasionally he would cough in close proximity to me, but it does not matter. If a flu virus will put me down soon, at least it was from him and not from someone at work. At his most weakened state, the only thing that mattered to me was that I must be there for him;
He must never feel alone.
An hour later, his part of the bed was already drenched with sweat. His body temperature returned to normal and the flushing on his face already ceased. He was already feeling much better and was sound asleep while I watched over him.
---
As I looked at him sleeping beside me, I felt a slight sense of guilt knowing that these past few days, I discouraged him to stay at home to do his papers. You see, his frequency last week was close to being questioned at home, not only because of his mere presence, but his stay adds up to the valuable resources that we have to give up in order to accommodate him. Practicality is cruel, but that is how the world really works. Fortunately, nobody openly complained about his frequent stay over. However I felt that they were beginning to question his presence and his relationship to me.
For what it's worth, even if there are questions and doubts that surround my relationship with Phanks, what is important is that the essentials remain. As I have always said over and over again, infatuation deceives; love can be questioned and commitment can be twisted according to one's whims and capriciousness; Fidelity and exclusivity itself do get compromised. But when one knows where one's heart stay; when one still clearly knows who his priority is, I believe that any shortcomings can be overlooked. Moki once said that if the pieces does not work properly, then the whole will never function effectively at all.
In our case, I clearly see where our disabilities lie and I intend to leave things that way. Some of the pieces that complete us may not be there anymore, but so long as the need for us to remain together remains strong -
- like what happened last night.
The whole, which comprises the two of us will still work, even if surprise distractions come into our way.
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