And so the rest of July was spent drifting.
There were meet-ups here and there; a talk or flirt with a stranger from time to time; an expansion and reinforcement of connections occasionally and that's just about it. Contrary to my initial beliefs, the past month did not become the wettest and wildest so far this year. It appears that somewhere along the way, I just got tired of getting naughty. Nevertheless, my outlook was fixed beyond my own borders. I've been looking too far and distant that I forgot to look within.
I've been so disconnected with the closest people around me, that I find it strange that we actually share a single circle.
And that includes the people at home.
Looking back, I ask myself whether I have done something significant during the past month. The backtracks won't say anything. Behind the masquerade, the truth is, I've been waging a bitterly contested war with my sister because of her affiliations - which almost put me into direct conflict with my mother as well; finances were down and expenses were up; and the upkeep, just to support a project together with the buddy is getting very heavy for my pocket. It would have triggered a last minute act of attrition, but weariness of all the conflict had set in. I don't want to wage a rebellion anymore.
The issues don't stop there.
My computer has been acting up lately - which goes on to show that I really needed an upgrade very soon. I've been quite lenient with my graduate studies that even J.Neil accused me of rushing my essay; and a conflict with the team-leader is beginning to sour our relationship, unless I would continue to pretend and overlook her biases for the sake of the "pinagsamahan" we had.
If there is something significant happened since the last time I looked back at my life, at least I made many friends - which has some dangerous downside too that I will try to write in a separate entry. The gym activities continue, despite getting injured or muscle fatigued from time to time. I may have reached the dreaded plateau already (my weight doesn't drop anymore) but I still have to work hard, lest I may tumble back to square one again.
There are still so many issues to settle and so many loopholes in my life to patch up. The reason why I chose this entry as an opener for the month of August is to remind myself of the things that I should focus on and avoid walking in circles like what I did last month.
Believe me, ever since I became conscious of the days, I get thrilled whenever I speculate on the turn of events that may shape my life on a certain month. July should have ended in a lust-fest, but it did not. The Midnight Run, the inuman escapades with Grade and my association with Caretaker's group stopped that. As for August, I am thinking of isolation and a return to domestication. I missed staying at home just to take care of my plants, get to know more my pets, and yes, even returning to places that may trigger nostalgia moments every now and then.
I miss playing Sims 2.
The rains would also have been a good opportunity to focus my attention at home and nurture whatever tattered bonds I have with the rest of the family.
I rarely hug or spend time with my dear mother lately.
And yeah, before I forget, I need to relax more. I've been depriving myself of a good sleep these past few weeks.
With life getting more and more obnoxious as time goes by, maybe the only way to recoup is to look at it in a less extravagant manner. I've been missing so many good things, simply because I have forgotten how to enjoy it in a less complicated way. Perhaps its time I should give myself a slowdown of things.
So I may see the bigger picture, now that I have more options to look around and enjoy the scene.
There were meet-ups here and there; a talk or flirt with a stranger from time to time; an expansion and reinforcement of connections occasionally and that's just about it. Contrary to my initial beliefs, the past month did not become the wettest and wildest so far this year. It appears that somewhere along the way, I just got tired of getting naughty. Nevertheless, my outlook was fixed beyond my own borders. I've been looking too far and distant that I forgot to look within.
I've been so disconnected with the closest people around me, that I find it strange that we actually share a single circle.
And that includes the people at home.
Looking back, I ask myself whether I have done something significant during the past month. The backtracks won't say anything. Behind the masquerade, the truth is, I've been waging a bitterly contested war with my sister because of her affiliations - which almost put me into direct conflict with my mother as well; finances were down and expenses were up; and the upkeep, just to support a project together with the buddy is getting very heavy for my pocket. It would have triggered a last minute act of attrition, but weariness of all the conflict had set in. I don't want to wage a rebellion anymore.
The issues don't stop there.
My computer has been acting up lately - which goes on to show that I really needed an upgrade very soon. I've been quite lenient with my graduate studies that even J.Neil accused me of rushing my essay; and a conflict with the team-leader is beginning to sour our relationship, unless I would continue to pretend and overlook her biases for the sake of the "pinagsamahan" we had.
If there is something significant happened since the last time I looked back at my life, at least I made many friends - which has some dangerous downside too that I will try to write in a separate entry. The gym activities continue, despite getting injured or muscle fatigued from time to time. I may have reached the dreaded plateau already (my weight doesn't drop anymore) but I still have to work hard, lest I may tumble back to square one again.
There are still so many issues to settle and so many loopholes in my life to patch up. The reason why I chose this entry as an opener for the month of August is to remind myself of the things that I should focus on and avoid walking in circles like what I did last month.
Believe me, ever since I became conscious of the days, I get thrilled whenever I speculate on the turn of events that may shape my life on a certain month. July should have ended in a lust-fest, but it did not. The Midnight Run, the inuman escapades with Grade and my association with Caretaker's group stopped that. As for August, I am thinking of isolation and a return to domestication. I missed staying at home just to take care of my plants, get to know more my pets, and yes, even returning to places that may trigger nostalgia moments every now and then.
I miss playing Sims 2.
The rains would also have been a good opportunity to focus my attention at home and nurture whatever tattered bonds I have with the rest of the family.
I rarely hug or spend time with my dear mother lately.
And yeah, before I forget, I need to relax more. I've been depriving myself of a good sleep these past few weeks.
With life getting more and more obnoxious as time goes by, maybe the only way to recoup is to look at it in a less extravagant manner. I've been missing so many good things, simply because I have forgotten how to enjoy it in a less complicated way. Perhaps its time I should give myself a slowdown of things.
So I may see the bigger picture, now that I have more options to look around and enjoy the scene.
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