Blood Allegiance (Finality)

Twenty one days after our successful meet-up at Gateway Mall, those of us who showed up converged again to give honor and say our goodbyes to a friend who will return to the land of his work several days from now.

Except for Kiddo, who wasn't allowed by his parents to meet us, those who had been part of the host's life in his brief stay in the country were able to show up and join him for a solemn despedida this afternoon.

Many things had happened since our fateful meet-up at Cubao. The seeds of friendship the bloggers have sowed since their first historic meeting at Enchanted Kingdom last month had already bloomed. Today at Mall Of Asia, we decided to prune it in hopes that it would branch out and prosper while our friend is away and resuming his old life again.

We will wait for his return.

As our blog continues to write new stories, the month of November will always be memorable to us - to me because an avenue of friendship had been opened with the host's arrival. His presence huddled us together and allowed the friendship to grow beyond the confines of our blogspaces.

We are now truly human to one another.

From the Enchanted Kingdom outings, to the lunch-dates and city tours we organized for him. I am sure that the host had a great time being with us. I hope that those cherishing memories would serve as our little and humble pabaon in hopes that those memories would warm him in the cold deserts of Arabia. As memory serves me right, this is the first time he had found true and real friendship in a life we are beginning to accept as part of our fate. We are PLUs and we would remain so, perhaps for the rest of our lives.

I remember Dodong asking me in one of our drinking sessions as to why I still continue to expand my horizons despite the fact that I already belong to an old core group. That time, I had no answer. I was simply basking in his company that all I could think of is the beer, the Eraserheads music and the bonded silence I enjoyed being with him and Roy.

Now that I am able to reflect on his question, I realize that people like us are bound to live alone in this lifetime. In a world still hostile to our existence, the only people we could truly depend on our the ones who grew up with us. Since all PLUs are bound to a single common fate, I decided to expand my horizons and share the lessons I've learned from the collective worlds that have become part of me ever since exploring this non-straight life.

The blogger PLUs need to bond for they are the true keepers of the life we are living.

Sila ang saksi sa drama ng aming bawat buhay.

The winter sun was about to set when DK arrived at our meeting place. He said he overslept on the way to MOA and woke up in Cavite. But we suspect otherwise. He simply overslept at home and that is the reason why he showed up late. Nevertheless, the Blood Allegiance is complete. What's important is that at the most memorable time of our host's life as PLU, we have all gathered to cement a friendship, we hope and dream that will grow and last a lifetime.

"Ako'y natutuwa na sa pagtahak ko sa landas ng 1 PLU, nakilala kita Joms. Sa muling pagkikita."

Maraming salamat bro sa pagbuo mo sa amin. Hanggang sa muli kaibigan. Mamimiss ka namin.

---

How do we remember Mink:

- Ang kanilang bahay kubo at palayan sa Batangas

- Blog Poetry

- Boo

- To Saudi With Love

- Enchanted Kingdom

- "Kuya Ang Gwapo Mo."

- Gripen throwing a set of M2M DVDs while dining at Cafe Ten Titas

- Dorm House Missed Calls

I Is For Imbyerna

It could have been the most fabulous night of the month.

It's pay-day. The party spots of Malate, Makati and Timog had been anticipating a surge of crowd tonight since last week. Tomorrow is a national holiday, so for those who have regular work days, their weekend off is extended by an extra day. Even Government had its Motorola event, which they had been promoting since last month. Everything was gearing up for a fun, fun Thursday,

Until

Senator Grade Trillanes, together with his "patriotic" thugs entered the scene and messed up our rather boring and rainy afternoon.

---

The sentiments among my colleagues was unanimously against Trillanes. Some called him eksenadora, while others complained that with the rising food prices, who in the right mind would rise up to topple the government like he begs the people to do. "He's a very deranged man," my workstation-mate said. No matter what higher reasons, or moral inclinations he would declare as his defense, the people simply isn't interested to heed his call.

We're all tired of politics.

Even the publicly-vindicated Ex-President Estrada distanced himself from the deviant bunch. If only I could read his mind, he would have thought "weather-weather lang yang mga kudetang yan."

Yeah, even the weather today isn't cooperating either.

---

My dear mother was anxious the whole time. Since my sister was watching a nine-hour film in UP and I was still at work, she kept on asking me to call her only to tell me to go home immediately because the political situation was becoming more and more tense.

"Ma, hindi babagsak ang gobyerno. Busy ang sambayanan sa PBB para makisali diyan," I constantly assured her while I was on my way to my next destination. I even caught glances of the passengers who overheard my conversation nod at my statements. I was right. Six pm came, the Manila Pen, together with the rebel boys inside the place was brought down by a teargas but the government did not fall.

As a people, we're not really the suicidal, deranged types. The mutineers surrendered to avoid bloodshed at the posh Manila Pen.

I thought everything was back to normal. I would have readily claimed that the government scored big time today for handling the stand-off without any significant violence. Despite the journalists being detained together with the mutineers, I guess the overall drama that unfolded today raised their respective station's ratings sky-high. A price they have to pay in order to get attention from the ever hungry and telenovela-crazed people of the Philippines. The public was satisfied with the performance as well. After all, rarely do they witness a breaking news story that had happened this afternoon.

You see, no matter how the opposition attempts to bring down the government, they will never succeed in doing so. They should content themselves lambasting the administration and exposing its rotten carcass in legislative hearings. The 2010 elections is just around the corner. Even Senator Mar Roxas is already being groomed by his party to become their standard bearer in that election.

Taking the cue from former President Fidel Ramos, which I read this morning. Ramos said that he only supports GMA because nobody could ever take her place as the President. I have to agree that in terms of economy, she managed to keep the Republic afloat. That little achievement is enough for her to be able to secure her Presidential Seat until the end of her term.

As I have said, I would have given the president and her men a thumbs up for a job well done. However, just before the celebrations began and a sense of normality descends to everyone, a breaking news was relayed to me not just by night-out companion but my mom as well.

"May curfew daw from 12 am to 5 am mamaya ah," my friend said, still panting from running a long distance just to meet me.

"Tanginang gobyerno yan." I mumbled quietly to myself.

The phone rings shortly after.

It was my mom commanding me to head home immediately.

---

Roy: Nakauwi ka na?

Me: Yap. Ikaw?

Roy: Kanina pa. Hehe.

Me: Imbyerna talaga tong gobyerno.

Roy: Imbyerna kamo si Trillanes.

Magdalo Tea Party (Book Two)

From Inq7.net

---

MANILA, Philippines -- Detained Senator Antonio Trillanes IV and other officers accused of leading the July 2003 rebellion walked out of their trial Thursday and marched through the streets of Makati calling for the ouster of President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo.

As of posting time, Trillanes and his comrades are at the Manila Peninsula where they are scheduled to hold a press conference.

The walkout began shortly after the trial resumed after a brief recess. Brigadier General Danilo Lim, who himself is detained and facing coup d’etat charges following an alleged failed coup attempt in February 2006, was pulled away by several soldiers from the witness stand.

Trillanes and Lim said they were calling on the Filipinos to withdraw support from the government because the President has corrupted its institutions.

“We are joining the people… because the President continues to violate the Constitution of the Philippines repeatedly,” Lim told DZMM’s Teleradyo program, adding they were “calling for the removal of an illegitimate President.”

---

Who gives a bullshit. Not me. Not the people who works for a living like me.

10 Jomanian Guidelines On Christmas Shopping (First Part)

Sabi kanina sa radyo, "It's 26 days to go before Christmas." Ako naman na mataimtim na nagmumuni sa loob ng FX ay napabuntung-hininga sa aking napakinggan. Paano kasi, ang Christmas Season ay panahon ng gastos. Nandyan ang mga Christmas Parties, mga exchange gifts, meetings at kung anu-ano pa na kailangan kong sulputan. Ano man ang gawin kong paraan para makatipid, sa huli ay gagastos at gagastos pa rin ako whether I like it or not.

Christmas is spending. Yun naman kasi ang meaning ng Pasko these days eh. Pero siyempre iba pa rin ang essence dun. I'm speaking in the point of view of a materialist's Christmas.

Pero let's veer away from the gastos muna and focus more on the gift-giving aspect of Pasko. Ang gift-giving ay isang tradisyon na sinimulan ko noong ako'y nasa elementary pa. Imagine, buong taon akong iwas sa mga malls at shopping. Ngunit, sa mga panahong katulad nito, tila nagiging relaxed ang aking ATM at wallet sa pamimili ng mga bagay na ipang-reregalo. Sa akin kasi, ang gift-giving ay pag-alala. Ang pagbibigay ng regalo tuwing pasko ang paraan ko upang maipahatid ang aking appreciation sa mga taong naging mahalagang bahagi ng buhay ko sa taong dumaan.

Anyhoot, since nasa usapan na rin tayo ng Christmas Shopping, naghanda ako ng sampung guidelines upang mas maging malinaw at maayos ang patakaran ko sa pamimili at pamimigay ng regalo. Isha-share ko na rin ito sa blog upang bigyang ideya ang iba tungkol sa aking diskarte.

Marami sa atin ang hindi basta namimigay for the sake na namimigay lang diba? Hindi rin tayo namimigay dahil sa galante tayo't kaya nating bilhan ang lahat ng taong naisipan nating bigyan ng regalo.

Its the thought that counts ang sabi nila. May point naman doon. Pero diba, thought really matters if we exert an effort to think and make plans for it, tama ba ako? The essence of gift- giving is to appreciate and be appreciated. It's our way of remembering and being remembered. Kaya't heto, nakaisip ako ng idea para mas maging spicy, meaning at memorable ang shopping experience ko ngayong taon.

You can follow the guidelines if you want. In the end, it's your thought that really counts.

---

1. Diversify: Be Creative

Sinama ko ang ex-buddy ko sa isang shopping spree noon. Marahil, dahil sa aking "passion" sa pamimili ng pang-regalo, bigla na lang siyang humiwalay sa akin upang pumunta sa katapat na stall. Akala ko naman ay magtitingin lang siya ng mga binebenta dahil na-burat na sa tagal ko mamili. Laking gulat ko na lang nang pagbalik niya sa akin ay may dala na siyang malaking plastic bag na puno ng kanyang mga pinamili.

"Ano yan?" tanong ko sa kanya.

"Ano pa edi pamasko. Pinakyaw ko yung nasa kabilang stall. Ang mura kasi eh" Sagot niya sa akin na puno ng pride sa kanyang mga binili.

Hindi na ako nag-react matapos noon. Pero sa totoo lang, natatawa ako kasi tila ba para siyang nautusan lang bumili ng corporate give-aways ng boss niya. Ang laman kasi ng kanyang plastic bag ay puro ceramic figurines, mugs at alarm clocks. Ang sabi pa niya sa akin, puro officemates niya ang bibigyan niya ng regalo - kasama doon ang mga bisor niya.

One thing I keep in mind kapag namimili tuwing Christmas Season ay i-take advantage ang dami ng maaring ipang-regalo sa mga tao. Simula noon, hindi ako namimigay ng regalo for the sake na may maibigay lang. It had always been thought upon kahit P50 pesos lang yung presyo ng binili ko.

Ang bottom line ay dapat nagka-effort ako sa paghahanap ng gift - mapa-napagod ako sa paglalakad, o kaya naman nabugbog ang katawan ko sa pakikipagsiksikan o kaya nagsayang ako ng laway kakabarat sa tindera. In the end, at least labor of love talaga ang pinangregalo ko. Isa pa, kapag nagtanungan na ang mga nakatanggap ng regalo mo, at least magkakaiba ang sasabihin nila sa isa't-isa.

Noon kasi may kakilala kami ni Roy (yep ang bestprend/sidekick ko) na namigay ng regalo sa aming Christmas Party. Lahat kaming magkakabarkada ay binigyan niya ng key chain galing kung saan. As in, nagmukhang give-away talaga ang dating niya. Nang sumunod na taon, kasama ko ang Roy sa pamimili ng regalo sa Divisoria. Isang taon na ang lumipas pero ang aral na natutunan ko sa aming kaibigan ay nakatatak pa rin sa aking isipan.

"Ano yang tinitingnan mo parekoy?" Tanong ko habang nakikiusyo-syo siya sa mga nag-uumpukang shoppers.

"Picture frame. Ang ganda eh. Ano kaya, bili ako nito para kina [insert name of tropa here]?" sagot ng aking barkada.

"Okey lang, basta tandaan mo yung nangyari last year ha." Tugon ko sa kanya.

"Alin dun?"

"Yung namigay si [insert the name of gift-giver here] ng key chain, hindi man lang binalot. Asus, lahat tayo binigyan pare-pareho. Tingnan mo tuloy, walang naka-appreciate."

"Kasi naman eh..." hirit ng aking tropa.

"Kung gagaya ka dun... namigay ka pa ng regalo. Be personal tsong, maniwala ka, laging matatandaan yung pamasko mo." Payo ko sa kanya.

2. Forget the Figurines, Mugs, Candles and Picture Frames. The more exotic the gift, the better.

Ano kaya ang pakiramdam ng isang nakakatanggap ng regalo kung, sa apat na tao na nag nagbigay ng pamasko sa kanya, tatlo ang nagregalo ng mug na iba-iba lang ang design at ang isa naman ay picture frame - na taon-taon na lang niyang ginagawang pang-regalo sa mga kaibigan?

Think about it.

3. Malls are for lazy shoppers.

At gaya nga ng sabi ko, mas rewarding ang Christmas Shopping experience kapag napagod ka pamimili mo. Besides, bukod sa mas mahal mamili sa mall, nawawala ang enjoyment at adventure ng pamimigay ng regalo kapag bumili ka lamang sa iisang lugar.

Ang mga alternatives ko sa Glorietta at SM ay: Divisoria - 168, Divisoria Mall at Meisic Mall. Ang Tutuban Center naman ay for Midnight Shopping. Quiapo Hidalgo - para sa mga dee-bee-dees sakaling maisipan kong magbigay ng pamasko na ganito. Cubao X - para sa mga artist at feeling artist friends ko at Cartimar Recto naman para sa mga Emo at Metal kong katropa.

Kung sa mall naman ako mamimili ay dadayuhin ko lang ang Toy Kingdom para sa regalo sa aking mga inaanak.

4. If giving gifts to fab friends, Malate is the best shopping place.

Saan pa ba the best mamili ng regalo sa mga Metrosexual at Fab mong mga kaibigan kung hindi sa Tops and Bottoms at sa Pride Exchange. Kumbaga sa branding, at least may pangalan ang pinanggalingan ng regalo mo.

Kung gusto mo pa ring fab ang gift mo kahit ilag ka sa Malate, Bench and Oxygen Stores are good finds.

5. Shirts and Shorts are always play-safe gifts; Teddy Bears and other stuff toys sends warm and cordial feelings.

Shirts and shorts are very practical gifts. Not only could they be worn all year, you can give these type of gifts annually without the receiver complaining or questioning about it. (unless you have sosi friends who only wears shirt from Topshop and Lacoste). The challenge however is the size guessing. Once you fail in figuring out the receiver's size , the gift may never be worn by the person at all.

It may become a source of issue too, especially if you give the person a shirt smaller than his or her size. It either implies the person got fat or you want the person to trim down.

As for stuff toys especially teddy bears, these type of gifts remind people of that fuzzy feeling they had as kids. Such gifts send warm and thoughtful feelings of friendship from the person who gave it as present. Unfortunately, people rarely give stuff toys nowadays because its meaning has been distorted. (thanks to the stereotype: you give a teddy bear with a balloon heart on Valentines Day or you give a teddy bear only to kids)

As for my own experience, the people who received stuff toys from me not only appreciated the gift, the friendship between us had greatly improved or remained very cordial in the years after the stuff toy was given.

---

-tobecontinued-

The Purest Of Hearts

title and photos courtesy of emochrome

---

I love kids.

Because I know that
I will never have
my own
in this lifetime.

Unfortunately, there are parents who see their -
babies like litters: A woman gets pregnant yearly.
When she's unable to support the child,
she would just abandon the baby in orphanages
like Hospicio De San Jose.


Others are less fortunate.
Some end up being aborted.
The rest you see
everyday wandering the streets
of Manila,
begging for food that they still have to share
with their little siblings
waiting in the shade.


When the pictures were uploaded this morning,
I was moved to tears upon seeing smiling
children in front of the camera.
For someone who have grown accustomed to the
fucks of life - the sight of so many children is enough
to lift my sagging mood today.

They are like potholes in the clouds
revealing a speck of blue sky hidden above.

You see, kids are like rays of light.
They give hope to a people already
indifferent to the boring, self-serving
existence they have to live everyday.

When I see them going to school or playing
in an enclosed street, a breath of fresh air
whiffs through my nose. Their presence reminds me
of my childhood. It gently reminds me that once,
everything was promising.

Life was just new to me.

There is no doubt the outreach program
had touched the lives of those who participated
in the event. It must have created a bond,
among them that will continue to grow and expand until
a promise of another outreach event will be fulfilled.

The sharing and giving of contributions had already lifted
some burdens and guilts, which many of us deny for many
reasons. I for one, has been left resenting that I was only able
to pack the things they would bring to the orphanage the
following day. Imagine those who were able to make it;
I wonder what the guys who interacted with the kids
felt after the outreach was over:

And we had storytelling and some even sang songs. A group of kids danced for the visitors, some performed a short poem, perhaps. There were gift-giving, games, laughter and even some undeniable displays of affection. A touch, a hug, a brief walk hand in hand towards the gate.

There could have been many wonderful things
that had happened but were never retold.

Too bad, all that was left for me

Are the lovely pictures to envy and resent upon.

A Season With Reason

"As we celebrate Christ The King Sunday, let us recall that He is also a servant to all... Let me thank you for being a servant to all the kids in Hospicio De San Jose. You truly make Jesus kingship alive in their hearts! Congratulations and God Bless you more!"

- Japhet, Hanap Barkada GEB Thread

---

I may not be there in the flesh...

But in spirit, I have always been one with everyone.

I sincerely wish this outreach activity in our little corner of PEx would become an annual tradition that would involve more people next time.

As I said before, Kindness is contagious.

Congratulations to all of us.

Boylet (Post A La Southdude Remix)

Gusto niyo ba malaman kung ano ang hottie para sa akin?

Yep, ang hottie sa akin ay yung kagaya niya: Makinis, matangkad at maangas pumorma. Ang kwento kasi, ka-text ko si DK nang biglang sumakay itong si binata. Nagkataon naman na trip ko ang mag-boytalk kaya't sinegway ko ang usapan namin at nabanggit ko itong gwaping na nakaupo sa tapat ko.

Sa sobrang lakas ng appeal niya, naglakas-loob akong kumuha ng stolen shot. Na-inspire rin kasi ako sa blog ni Southdude na namamayagpag sa kabilang dako ng blogspace. Kung tutuusin, average-looking lang naman ang binatilyo. Hindi siya ganun kaputian o kalaman para matawag mong hottie o artistahin. Marahil ang kanyang kapayakan at angas manamit ang nagdala sa kanya. Sa height niyang six-footer, ewan ko lang kung hindi siya agaw pansin.

Don't get me wrong. Admiration lang ang tama ko sa kanya at wala sa isip ko ang kahalayan. Tutal, kung may PLU man na kagaya niya, suntok sa buwan na ang mag-attempt pumorma. Kapag nagcocompare notes kami ng bestprend kong si Roy, lagi niyang reklamo sa akin na bakit daw sobrang exotic ng taste ko pagdating sa boylet. Ang hindi ko masabi, siya kasi ay may kakayahan makipaghook-up sa mga tipong pinagmamasdan ko lang sa malayo. Kung sa usapang leveling, nakikibagay lang naman ako sa kaya ko abutin.

Mahirap kasi ang umastang may powers.

---

But the truth is, despite my ability to project myself confidently in front of others, there will always be a part of me, wishing, I am someone else.

Someone better than me.

Flying To The Office

I woke up at around 5:35 this morning. On ordinary days this is the time I usually leave the house to go to work.

However, the enchanting dream I had last night prevented me from waking up on time. Add to the fact that it was freezing cold and the sky was dark, the dawn that greeted me entices me not to get out of bed immediately.

So when I realized that I overslept, I had to rush unless I want to get late again. I had to straighten the sheets in a double-pace fashion; grab the nearest pants and shirt I could find in the closet; and say my goodbyes to my mom in a hushed voice, it's almost like I never uttered a word at all.

I left the house ten minutes before the shift begins. Fortunately, a cab was passing by our street and it stopped in front of me when I hailed it. "Boss sa Shaw - Addition Hills," I told the driver. His only response was a series of muted grunts directed towards the commentator on his car's AM radio.

After countless vehicle overtakes, traffic light beatings and road maneuvers that only a seasoned driver can perform, I arrived in the office three minutes before work begins. Taking advantage of my situation, the cab driver had the free reign to raise the fare twenty pesos more than I usually pay. There was no use haggling or complaining. At least I was able to ride a brand new Toyota Altis on my way to work.

Since everyone is rushing to get to the floor, I had to make a dash from the gate towards the waiting elevator to avoid the scramble of colleagues who were also beating the bundy clock.

I was able to log in at exactly 6 am - twenty minutes after I woke up. Ignoring everyone who greeted me, I went directly to my workstation to turn on my computer before the team leader catches me idling around. Thirty minutes later, I grabbed the facial wash and toothbrush inside my bag. The truth behind my aloof attitude towards my colleagues when I arrived is because

I did not brush my teeth nor washed my face when I left home this morning. In my desire not to incur any tardiness, it became my habit, in dire situations, to start my morning rituals long after the shift had started.

Seven + ABCD (Last Part)

Let's sing our Alphabet song:

A - Age: I'm turning twenty six... twenty four days from now.

B - Bands I'm Listening To Right Now: indie-alternative ulit akow - Peel, One Republic, Marty Casey and the Lovehammers, Josh Rouse

C - Career: Call Center Agent, Creative Writing Graduate Student

D - Drink or Smoke: Marlboro Green/Lights and San Miguel Light baby.

E - Easiest Friends To Talk To: Sensible, Artistic and Koboy. I might be choosy when it comes to friends, but I don't really mind hanging out with out and effeminates. Badtrip ako sa KSP.

F - First Crush: Is with a girl. Her name is Cristina.

G - Gadgets: Creative Zen Nano Plus Mp3 Player, Nokia N70, Sony Cybershot 3.3 MP, Pentium Core Duo Desktop PC

H - Hobbies: As of now - Writing and Playing Computer Games.

I - In love: Yes, with my family and my buddy.

J- Junk Food You Like: Anything that is Potato Chips.

K - Kids: Wish I have a boy.

L - Longest Ride Ever: Manila to Isabela. Umalis kami ng bahay ng around midnight, dumating kami ng Santiago City at past lunchtime.

M - My Perfect Nightout: Inuman sa pad with very close friends, playing alternative music on the radio, yosi sa table, sentihan magdamag. Or Non-stop clubbing all night.

N - Names For Your Future Kids: If for some divine intervention I got a lady pregnant, I'd name our kid(s) Joem Endymionne or John Paul Alexis. Yung girl na bahala if we have a daughter.

O - One Wish You Have Now: A life without regrets.

P - Phobias: Frogs

Q - Favorite Quote: “It's better to run away for cover to see the big picture rather than facing a trouble head-on without thinking of ways to resolve it efficiently or at least have a back up plan when another retreat is needed.” - Akin to.

R - Reasons To Smile: Acts of Random Kindness, Feeling of being blessed in life.

S - Sleeping Time: Between 1-2 am at home and 8 or 9 am during power naps at work.

T - TV Channels: National Geographic, Jack TV, Animax, Discovery Channel

U - Unknown Fact About You: My life is an open book, but I don't talk too much in person. I don't usually look at the eye of the person when having conversations.

V - Vegetable You Hate: Ampalaya

W - Worst Habit: Nailbiting

X - X-rays You’ve Had: Chest and Back X-Ray

Y - Yummy Foods: Menudo, Pasta, Ground Beef Omelet (Tortang Giniling), Lumpiang Shanghai, Chaplets Ala-King.

Z - Zodiac Sign: Sagittarius

---

I'm tagging Dean, Ika, Eon, Mink, Centurion, Hugh and Ardee

Seven + ABCD (First Part)

Day Off.

Dahil nag-aaverage lang ako ng limang oras na tulog sa loob ng limang araw, sinagad ko ang sleeping time ko kanina't bumangon ako ng past 12 ng tanghali. Binaha ako ng forwarded na text messages buong umaga na alam ko namang hindi talaga para sa akin - ito'y para sa maramihan at sa totoo'y hindi ko lubhang na-aappreciate. Tinamad akong lumabas, kaya't naglaro ako ng Sims 2 buong maghapon. Yep, Sims 2 all day. Non-stop yun pre. Natapos ang araw, nanood ako ng TV Patrol upang mabalitaan ang super bagyo na maaring mag-direct hit sa Manila next week. Nagkaayos rin kami ng utol ko, matapos niya akong iwanan sa ere sa Quiapo noong isang araw. Ako ay nakatambay ngayon sa G4M habang gumagawa ng Meme. Mamaya, darating si Phanks upang makigamit muli ng computer.

Gagamitin ko ng excuse ito para magkaayos kami matapos ang panandaliang fall-out na naganap noong nakaraang linggo.

Heto ang aking buhay ngayong araw.

Upang ma-fulfill ang aking pangako sa mga nag-tag sa akin. Nandito ang aking Meme. This time, walang halong sexual, or kabadingan ang mga magiging sagot ko.

---

Special thanks for Shamasu and Carl for tagging me.

Seven Truths/Things about me.

1. I believe that I have virtual god complex. If not running a simulated life ( like in the Sims) I am building an empire (like in the game Civilization). In my younger years, I have ruled - through computer a galactic empire (Master of Orion, Galactic Civilizations, Pax Imperia, ), a business conglomerate (Transport Tycoon, Theme Hospital etc). However, I am a sore loser when it comes to leading an army. Therefore, I really don't enjoy playing war games such as Warcraft, Command and Conquer and Starcraft.

2. I belong to the generation of Anime and Super Sentai lovers who have seen Yaiba, Dragonball Z, Ghost Fighter, Sailor Moon, Vision of Escaflowne, Patlabor, Magic Knight Rayearth etc. Kapanahunan ko rin si Bioman, Shaider, Maskman, Fiveman, Magmaman, Mask Rider Black at Ultraman.

Kaya dun sa mga Naruto at Deathnote fans, talagang sobrang lost ako. Ibang generation na sila. Hehe.

3. I'm not a text person. I don't respond to forwarded text messages and it brings me great annoyance if a person sends me five forwarded text messages every fucking day. If the person who texted and I are not close, I wouldn't give a damn whatever happens in their lives - especially if it's just trivial matters. I don't want people asking me what I'm doing because I'm always busy and preoccupied. Texting is for urgent communication, one forwarded message occasionally is enough. It gives meaning to the word longing.

4. Sumasabit ako sa jeep, lalo na kapag nagmamadali. I have no concept of traffic since I don't mind walking long distance just to reach my destination.

5. My work-week starts when everyone's work-week ends. And it really sucks.

6. I'm a mama's boy and I'm very proud of it.

7. I'm not a mall person. The only time I go to the mall is when I have to buy my toiletries or meet someone for a friendly talk. I usually hate crowded places and the only time I break such rule is during my annual Christmas shopping rush in Divisoria.

Pink Heart (Epilogue)

"I stumbled upon this blog and I was surprised.........

thank you thank you thank you for the kind words.

we just had our outreach for 2007 last November 17 at the Chapel of Hope, St. John Ma. Vianney Parish, Guadalupe, Makati.

I promise you, we will be relentless in fulfilling at least one outreach per year. Together with Divas and Berkey, we shall pursue this despite whatever we hear from people. Ours is not because we wanted to be photographed or publicized. We are way past that stage. We will continue on doing so because we believe that it is the right thing to do, despite our lifestyle.

And you are correct. It was a heart warming experience, not for me, but for all of us.

thank you thank you thank you..

I hope you get to visit us once in a while...."

- Rotogold

---

An act of kindness will be discovered, no matter how one tries to keep it a secret.

It was a balmy afternoon almost two years ago when the activity was set forth. I came from work and I had to trudge my way to Tayuman to bring the two cartons of infant's milk that I promised for my contribution. They organized an outreach program for orphans and at the helm of this massive effort were some very good-hearted homosexuals from the website guys4men (G4M).

The summer was about to end and joining them was not initially part of my plans. I do not even belong either to one of their umbrella groups. However, it just so happened that when I decided to stalk their threads, a guy posted a message and it convinced me to volunteer despite the risk of outing myself to a very large community.

"Pwede ko ba bigyan ng saysay ang buhay ko at sumali dito?" was the guy's posted message.

It was a mere one-liner but it moved me to support the effort unrestrictedly. For all the sex parties, sex eye balls, grand eye balls, threesomes and orgy invitations posted in g4m daily, rarely do homosexuals get organized for such a humanitarian effort like the one headed by Rotogold and Divas.

My chance to finally justify my existence as a homosexual was laid down to me.

All I have to do is grab the opportunity and be proud of what I have done.

---

Spending a late afternoon with orphans was a moving experience.

The kids were mostly abandoned because of their birth deformities, or their parents simply surrendered them out of extreme poverty. They have their own tiny sheltered world run by nuns lead by the late Mother Teresa herself. First impressions would tell that they are well sustained by the foundation that runs the orphanage. However, unlike the bigger institutions, they receive less attention and visitors from the outside world.

It seems like our contingent was the first to visit that summer.

Two years after it all happened, the scenes inside the children's quarters remain vividly imprinted in my thoughts:

Little toddlers limping towards the visitors, our presence, like a break to the endless monotony they have to live every day; Babies who could not even cry because of the large tubes inserted in their mouths; the only response to the affection you show them is a tight grip at your pinky finger, as if asking you not to leave; A teenager girl who sat in a wheelchair. Her thought process can be compared to those of a twelve-year old, trying to retell you her ongoing sad story that the nuns and volunteer caregivers have heard a million times over; Children's beds being shared by two or three babies, wishing to be carried around but their uncontrollably salivating mouths or bulging eyes discouraged you from doing so because of their fragility.

What's so sad about their fate is that they will have to live such existence for the rest of their lives. With such disadvantages, nobody would most likely adopt them. They are one of the most unwanted children alive.

That summer, I learned a little lesson about the value of affection. In the long course of time, that summer went on to become the most meaningful I had in recent years.

What I find very strange is that after the two-part entry was buried in heaps of other posts, it was suddenly and surprisingly found by one of the organizers of the outreach program.

- Exactly at a time when a new generation of PLUs from another world not connected with G4M decided to follow their lead and organize the same kind of outreach program for orphans.

There must be a universal connection between the cross-worlds.

Kindness is indeed, contagious.

---

Despite the festive mood I saw while being there, I still wondered how it would look like if it was a mere ordinary day for them? Would they still feel perky and excited? Would Anna still try to unleash the inner raging diva in her and sing in front of everyone? One thing is sure though, and I felt it whenever I was left alone while looking at the eyes of the children who lives in that orphanage; the place may perhaps be the only home to these kids, but underneath the veil of care and attention given to them by the nuns and their trusted assistants, it still remains a desolate and lonely place to stay.

I wonder how it feels like growing up without experiencing being hugged?

- Pink Heart (Ending)

Crossworlds

'Tis the season for sharing our blessings.

In behalf of my friends in Pinoyexchange-Hanap Barkada Thread (HBT) Group, maybe you guys would be interested to join our outreach program.

---

from Lostwansoul:

as much as possible, it's discouraged that we give out TOYS.. if we are to give them toys, we have to MAKE SURE we come up with toys that will assure that EACH kid gets one.

If you guys have any of the stuff that Jandreks has posted, part and parcel and in addition to would be:

Old Clothes (children's clothes and larger ones for the orphaned elderly)
BABY DIAPERS
Children's Books / Reading Materials
Children's School Supplies
INFANT Formula
Footwear
Cookies/BISCUITS (individually wrapped not the can-type)
Blankets
Noodles


Those who are abroad and have pledged wire transfers, I think it's BANANABOI who'll be the contact person for the account drop-off. Thanks you guys!

For the locals, those who'll be bringing the things they want to donate/share to the kids for the Christmas drive, we meet on SATURDAY, November 24, 2007, at Red Ribbon HARRISON PLAZA 6pm onwards. Just bring the items with you so we can put them in a common transport. We meet naman the next day SUNDAY, close to 8-830 am at a to-be designated area, for the actual activity.

We all have to more or less, involve ourselves with the bundling of the 30 gift bags on Saturday as well so come early when you can with your items..

Genesis and Jandreks will handle the games and the program for the kids.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR FINDING YET ANOTHER GOOD REASON FOR THIS SEASON THROUGH THIS ACTIVITY...

Psychic Phone Service

conversation copied and pasted from the system.
chat strings: 19 messages sent

---

Operator: Welcome! I'm your psychic phone friend Lady Samsara. How may I help you with your concerns?

User: Hi. I would like to know what is happening to my relationship.

Operator: I sense your deeply troubled spirit. Before I start my reading, I would like to know your name and date of birth.

User: My name is jocelyn. dec1581.

Operator: You are born under the star sign sagittarius. You are naturally inclined to protect your freedom at all cost, am I right?

User: Sort of. I value my independence above all else...

Operator: So what is your problem with your relationship? I sense a falling out coming.

User: You're right. I don't feel him anymore.

Operator: Do you feel being used up and unappreciated?

User: Yes. Besides, I feel like he's cheating on my back.

Operator: And how do you respond to it?

User: I have my own ways of coping up.

Operator: Like how.

User: Getting my attention distracted by others.

Operator: Don't you feel that you're just pretending to have a relationship?

User: I don't want to think that way... I'm still hopeful things would turn out better.

Operator: But my reading reveals that it would turn worse.

User: Really?

User: Is that the reason why I've become more daring in entertaining others lately?

Operator: There is something inside you that tells there is a problem. Unconsciously, you are trying to break free.

User: But I don't want to break free. I do not know where to go or how to stand up on my own. I always think of his welfare too. He will fall apart once I finally disentangle myself from him.

Operator: You said it yourself, you are better off being independent.

User: How I wish there's another way. We don't talk about these issues you see.

Operator: I know, that's why I'm wondering how do you exist as a couple.

User: We exist by avoiding the cracks and pretending things are still alright. Its frustrating when you realize how unfortunate your situation is.

Operator: At least you have your own ways of coping up. You should be proud of that. I sense that even if you're in another relationship, you will still fight for your freedom. You're not the same girlfriend material anymore.

User: I think that way too. That's why I can't give up yet. There's no future for me.

Operator: We are the masters of our own destiny. Do what you think will make you happy.

User: I do not know what makes me happy anymore... except I guess when I'm alone.

Operator: People born under the sign of sagittarius are natural loners. It's not unusual for you to enjoy your solitude.

Operator: So what are your plans after I gave you my insights?

User: I'm still confused. But I will try to cope up. I hope I can still endure this. All I wanted is someone to listen. That's all.

Operator: I'm always here to lend you an ear.

User: Thanks.

Operator: Do you have some other concerns that you want to consult to me?

User: That's all for now. Thanks again.

Operator: You're welcome, may the blessings of the universe be with you always.

User: Thank you.

---

For the nth time, a computer virus is wrecking havok on my computer. With my own system crippled and on the verge of being disabled. I do not know how would I cope up with my own frustration.

And it wasn't even my fault why a virus got in.

It was...

Questions Of Integrity

A colleague was terminated yesterday. It had taken effect today, which, unfortunately she only became aware of after the HR called her attention this morning.

Rumors persist that it was because of her habitual tardiness and absences. My other colleagues who shared a row with her said that she would frequently render half-day work resulting to a significant loss in her output. Her absences were a disappointment as well. They said that she's nowhere to be found in times our work was at its most heavy. I haven't tapped the team leaders yet about this recent turn of events. However, her fate had not only shaken the faith of us pioneers of the company,

it had its deepest impact on me.

Despite her infamous reputation for spreading false rumors at the floor, some considered her one of the stalwarts of the company. She may not be likable to many but her ground had always been perceived as strong and unshakable. I personally thought that she won't become a casualty of the ever-changing order being imposed by the company.

But she was purged. It only means that there is a very strong possibility that I might become a casualty as well.

You see, I was suspended last month also because of my habitual tardiness. It was a very humiliating experience especially when you imagine other operators talking about your doom behind your back. I did make some efforts to improve my standing, but I've always felt that it was enough. I am still disappointingly inefficient. This week, my team leader voiced her concern about my absences. Though it still falls within the permissible limit set by the company, the authorities begin to see a pattern, which I am never aware of.

In my defense, I told them that even though I am not in my work station, I still render 8 hours work at home. Of course, it wouldn't matter. An absent is an absent no matter what excuses I tell them.

Which such realities at hand, I don't have any choice but to adopt to the changing policies or suffer the same fate, which my colleague had received yesterday. Before, I thought that my position was secured as long as no one would break my output record in the service account that I am handling. I also thought that the boss was infinitely patient enough to tolerate our delinquencies. Marami kasi ang nakalampas before, so I thought things were still the same.

But it appears that I am very wrong. I should have listened to Mami Athena when, in her motherly wisdom told me that everyone in the company is dispensable - even her and the boss himself. Maybe I should change and follow P-Man's lead, whom despite his ever growing suplado attitude remains my template for a ruthlessly hardworking but uncreative chat operator.

Creativity has its whims, therefore it cannot be trusted.

Today marks the official loss of confidence in my company standing. Even if I do not sense proximal danger, I still feel very vulnerable. My only recourse of action is to push myself to adapt and improve, or I would suffer the same fate like what had befallen my long-time colleague.

Protocol Myon Two

"Bakit ganun no? Kapag napansin tayo ng sex partner natin, na fla-flatter tayo. Pero ang weird, takot naman tayo mag-exert ng effort para mas lalong mapalapit sa kanya.

Kapag naman nag-performance level tayo sa kama, tapos kinalimutan tayo after, sobrang badtrip tayo. Feeling natin eh ginamit lang tayo at pinagparausan. Nangyari na sa iyo yun diba? Minsan nga sabi mo, wala lang sayo ang lahat at kahit medyo confused ang puso mo. Ikaw pa nga ang may gana magdelete ng number nila.

Pero paano ba tsong kapag ang naka-sex mo ay may potential mo maging FUBU. Paano ang gagawin mo sa sitwasyong may tendency ka maging extra sweet sa taong hindi mo naman dapat pagtuunan masyado ng pagkatao.

At siya nga pala parekoy, ano ang gagawin mo para ma-impose sa utak mo na ang lahat ng playmate ay playmate lang. Walang kaibi-kaibigan, walang tropa-tropa? Diba ikaw nga ang nagsabi, na indifferent tayo sa kanila after?

Paano ba magtaboy ng potential FUBU partner, lalo na't takot kang maging close, Joms?"

---

- Quoted from a friend, revealing a developing story to me.

Bunny Interludes Twenty Three

Going to the gym itself is already a test of endurance.

For the past three weeks, work-out has been very erratic. Blame it to my abnormal schedule - at work and also due to some social obligations which I tend to give much focus lately. The temptation of shifting my attention to computer games added to my distraction as well. The result was an extra day set for rest instead of continuously buffing up every other day.

I decided to give myself an extra day of rest because my work-out routine is already suffering from muscle fatigue. I thought that in doing so, I would have an added strength to lift up weights that is almost the same as my body weight. However, it felt like I am not just suffering from muscle fatigue anymore, my mind is already tired of gym after eight months of my presence there.

With no diet to supplement my efforts, I would most likely end being bloated again. Such destiny can only be prevented if I could hold my ground and impose a final resolution regarding my gym burn-out.

I honestly feel very tired of lifting heavy weights.

I am tired of breaking my muscles in order to achieve a physique that I may never have, no matter what I do.

Nevertheless, I have come a long way to achieve this body, which in many ways I could already be proud of. In the long course of chasing the bunnies, I have never dreamed I would this be fit. I can confidently say that my strength had increased significantly even if my weariness often fails me. I may still continuously suffer, not only from fatigue but from work-out failures as well. The temptations to break my efforts may become more intense as the year comes to a close.

But no matter what happens, there is no way I would quit the gym. This is just a phase, which I can overturn in a few weeks time.

I should always recite it as a mantra.

There's too much at stake if I suddenly decide to end this project.

Princess Diaries: Fantastic Four Conversations

Note: As psychic operators, our job is to provide answers to questions sent to us by our client's text users. The questions asked range from love problems to financial speculations. Occasionally, confidence issues emerge as the main reason why these users rely on "psychics" for guidance. With such responsibilities being entrusted to us, we know how careful we should be in providing resolutions to their issues. One wrong statement and we may drastically alter a person's life completely.

Talking to stubborn users who ask the same questions, strains our ability to think compassionately and creatively. It leaves us close to the borders of our sanity. The post below by Princess reveals what would happen if, the last bolts that hold our fragile mind together suddenly gives way to absolute madness.

Its fun to play god and be sarcastic sometimes.

---

sharmeka: tell me, am i pregnant?
*pokemon: no, i dont think so
sharmeka: really thats great!
*pokemon: you shoudnt be happy
sharmeka: oh my, why?
*pokemon: you're bloated thats why
sharmeka: huh?
*pokemon: stop eating junkfood and brush your teeth before going to sleep
sharmeka: Oh my, how did you know dat i dont brush.
*pokemon: secret....
sharmeka: ill just leave, you're pissing me off
*pokemon: Dont look!
sharmeka: Why?
*pokemon: dont look at the mirror!
sharmeka: ?
*pokemon: ur facing a possible heart attack if u do that! Haha!
sharmeka: go to hell pussy!
*pokemon: sure do hell girl


Kiki: Ello anyone out there?
*AraMina SergionReyna: What an ugly name
Kiki: Huh? I'm african american
*AraMina SergionReyna: Oh, i thought you were a vulva
Kiki: A what?
*AraMina SergionReyna: A sexual organ, the one used in giving birth.
Kiki: What the hell are you talking about?
*AraMina SergionReyna: Ahh nevermind, what do you want?
Kiki: Yes, i would like to ask if its alright to poke the eyes of ur mate while having sex
*AraMina SergionReyna:And why the hell would u do that, r u stupid?
Kiki: No, i just like blood when doing it.
*AraMina SergionReyna: Whatever.
Kiki: Should i use my thumb or middle finger?
*AraMina SergionReyna: why dont you use ur foot instead
Kiki: i cant.
*AraMina SergionReyna: do it stupid! its better
Kiki: I have foot and viginal infections u moron
*AraMina SergionReyna: iieeewwww!! pour acid on it
Kiki: yeah right, whatever.

swarding:im so lonely
*pokemon: thats life
swarding: will i eventually find love
*pokenon: i guess not
swarding: Why
*pokemon: i know a place
swarding: really where?
*pokemon: in the farm
swarding: oh is he a farmer?
*pokemon: no
swarding: what is he then
*pokemon: a horse.

kokak: why is everyone avoiding me?
*pokemon: well i guess youre ugly
kokak: well i guess so. :(
*pokemon: whats with the frawn
kokak: i dont smile
*pokemon: i know why
kokak: why
*pokemon: your eyes might pop out
kokak: how did u know i have huge eyes
*pokemon: what do u care and ur smelly too
kokak: yeah thats true wanna smell my feet
*pokemon: sure but u have to suck it first if u can
kokak: thats impossible
*pokemon: of course it is..stupid!
kokak: ok i'll go now
*pokemon: ok and one more thing...dont hop no matter what
kokak: why?
*pokemon: your eyes might pop out

---

*psychic

Princess Diaries: Introduction

Si Princess, sa mga hindi nakakaalam ay katrabaho ko. Si Mami Athena (Deracinee) ang nagbigay sa kanya ng palayaw na princess dahil hindi lang siya maputi at makinis, fashionista din siya at refined kumilos.

Pwedeng-pwede siya maging candidate sa pagiging certified Metrosexual.

Don't get me wrong though, si Princess ay hindi effeminate. Tanging kami lang ni Mami ang tumatawag sa kanyang prinsesa. Sa tuwing makikita mo siyang nag-aabang ng taxi pauwi, sa halip na mga babae ang kasama niya (kagaya ng ibang mga PLU na kilala ko), ang mga nakapalibot sa kanya ay puro barakong lalaki. Mas marami pa nga siyang straight guys na tropa kesa sa akin.

Anyhoot, naging bonded kami nitong binatang ito noong kasagsagan ng conflict ko kay P-Man. Bigla na lang siya nag-aya na mag-BED kami kasi daw hindi pa siya nakakapunta doon. Siya rin ang nag-aya sa akin mag-White Party, kung saan ako ang pinagkaguluhan samantalang siya naman ang nagmaganda. Sa office, kami rin ang tag-team partner sa aming account. Lagi kasi siyang tinatabla ng iba naming ka-team at minsan na rin itong naging dahilan ng kanyang pag-reresign.

Minsan ko nang nai-post ang sinulat niya noong umaapaw ang kanyang creativity at ang naging outlet niya ay yung Notepad sa aming computer sa halip na Microsoft Paint. Favorite pastime kasi ni Princess ang mag-enhance ng kanyang mga pictures kapag wala kaming ginagawang trabaho. Pinost ko ang kanyang sinulat sa takot na maaring hindi na siya mag-sulat muli.

Ngayong wala na naman akong maisulat (dahil puro tulog, gym at sims 2 lang ang ginagawa ko kapag walang work), hahayaan ko munang siya ang mag-occupy ng space ko. Lingid sa kaalaman ng prinsesa, may exposure na siya sa blogspace.

In the first place, yun rin naman ang secret wish niya.

Protocol Myon One

I asked a friend about his ideal sex scene. This is what he said:

"Gusto kong sex partner dapat mga payb nayn, at least lean at moreno. It doesn't matter if he don't have the looks. Gusto ko yung may animalistic ang galaw at kilos, barakong-barako kumbaga! Kapag ako tinorrid kissing sabay hinu-hug, tinitigasan ako, lumalaban ako bro. Kapag sinabihan akong ng ang galing mo, mas lalo akong nagiging mabangis at magaling na performer. Kapag ako ay na-rim, kinky yun para sa akin. Pwede na niya akong pasunurin sa lahat ng gusto niya ipagawa sa akin. Finally kapag ako ay binayo ng malalim at pagkabilis-bilis gamit ang kanyang mahaba at malaking...

Para na akong nasa langit.

Yun nga lang, bawal maging close. Baka ako ma-attach.

Mahirap ma-attach."

His revelation was too much for me, I went on to ask another less kinky question.

Spaghetti Strap Incident

Ang bilis ng balik ng karma.

Alas-siyete ng gabi. Papunta ako sa opisina ni Phanks upang maningil ng utang nang si Roy ay biglang nag-aya ng gimik. "Ahhh, mukhang walang date ang pogi," sabi ko sa aking sarili. Dahil nasa labas na rin lang ako't matagal-tagal na akong hindi nakakapag-night out, nagpasya akong lumabas kasama siya matapos kong makuha ang pera sa aking boylet.

Habang iniintay ang tapos ng work-out ni parekoy, nagpasya muna akong mag-internet sa Vito Cruz. Dito na naganap ang aking pambabalahura sa isang tiga-G4M na sinumpa yata ako bilang paghihiganti.

Matapos ang isang oras, nagkita rin kami ng aking kaibigan. Unang kwento ko sa kanya ang pagka-pilosopo ko minsan sa aming favorite tambayan.

"Ang harsh mo talaga. Ako ini-ignore ko na lang yang mga yan eh." Pangaral niya sa akin. Sige na masama na talaga ako. Siraulo ako sa mga pasaway na walang inatupag kundi maghanap ng sex o kaya manghingi ng pic at number samantalang hindi naman ako kinakausap ng matino.

Dumaan muna kami sa bahay upang maghapunan at para makapaghilamos na rin ako ng mukha. Buong araw na kasi akong nasa labas bago pa man kitain ko ang aking kaibigan. Matapos nun, nagpunta kami ng Greenhills upang kitain naman si Dodong. Nitong mga nakaraang mga lakad ko, hindi ko maipaliwanag kung bakit natataon na kaming tatlo ang natyetyempong free kapag nagkakaayaan.

Sa pagkakaintindi ko, mag-iinuman lang kami sa pad ni Dodong. Masyado kasing homey ang bahay niya kaya't kahit hindi na kami mag-bar hopping, solb na ang aming gabi kaka-soundtripping at walang katapusang sentihan tungkol sa aming mga buhay-buhay. Nagkataon naman na gustong lumabas ni Dodong kaya't kahit naka-baby blue sando ako, lusob pa rin kami sa Timog upang ipagdiwang ang gabi sa piling ng isang Macho Mug ng San Mig Light sa Quatro.

Nang dumating kami ng doon, ito ay punong-puno ng tao. Ang dami pa ngang waiting sa labas eh. Sa pag-aatubili, nagpasya na lang kami maginuman sa ibang bar.

Dito na nagsimula ang aking kalbaryo.

Habang naglalakad sa kahabaan ng Timog Avenue, nagkabiruan pa kaming magpunta na lamang ng Gigolo para maiba naman ang crowd. Siyempre, hanggang biruan lang iyon sapagkat kung merong unang matatakot sa aming pumasok sa bar na iyon, ako yun. Laking takot ko lang na baka mag-enjoy ako't balik-balikan ang lugar na yun.

Natunton namin ang ikalawang bar which is Off the Grill nga. Nag-inuman na kaming magkakabarkada dito noong nasa Manila pa ang isa naming tropa na si Omeng, kaya naman kampante ako na hindi magkakaroon ng problema ang get-up ko.

Ngunit, nang papasok na kami sa loob ng bar, bigla akong hinarang ng security guard.

"Boss bawal ang nakasando rito," ang sabi niya sa akin.

Si Dodong naman at si Roy na tiyempong nasa likod ko ay bigla na lang natawa at inasar ako ng katakot-takot.

"Sino ba kasi ang nagsabing magsando ka sa Timog eh. Hindi to Malate Joms?" Hirit ni Dodong sa akin.

"Malay ko ba na magti-Timog tayo. Eh nagtitipid ako sa damit eh." Depensa ko naman.

Kaya't nagpatuloy kami sa paglalakad. Lingid sa kaalaman nilang dalawa na nagbabadya na akong lumipad ng Malate sakaling i-boycott ulit ako ng susunod na bar na pupuntahan namin. "Mabuti pa sa BED, tanggap nila kung sino ako." Dedma lang ang dalawang kasama ko.

Nagpatuloy kami sa paglalakad. Si Dodong at si Roy naman ay katakot takot na pang-aalipusta ang ginagawa sa akin.

"Tiyak sa Garahe eh tatanggapin tayo." Ito yung bar kung saan nagdaos ng GEB ang isang grupo sa G4M. Dito ko rin nasaksihan nag-walk out si Roy nang makita niyang naglipana ang mga diwata sa nasabing GEB.

"Yoko nga, jologs dun dito na lang tayo sa Mang Jerry's" Pabiro naman hirit ni Dodong. Sa paghahanap ng matinong bar, umabot na kami ng Tomas Morato sa paglalakad. Sunod naming tinungo ang Barracks kung saan yinapos ako sa braso ng bouncer sabay bulong sa akin ng,

"Bawal ang naka-sando dito tol." Gusto ko sana itanong bakit yung mga tsiks pwede mag-spaghetti strap.

Sa mga oras na iyon, hindi ko alam kung ako ba'y uuwi na lang o maghahanap ng ukay-ukay para bumili ng T-Shirt. Si Roy naman ay kung ano-ano na ang tinuturo na maari kong maging panakip sa aking exposed na balat. Mula sa kurtina na nakita namin sa isang tindahan hanggang sa mga dahon-dahon sa punong nadaanan namin sa kalsada ay nirekomenda na niya sa akin. Pati ang lona sa Clubber's Guide ay pinagdiskitahan na niya rin.

"Pahiram ko na lang sayo yung sando ko galing sa gym, gawin mong shoal" lalo pa niyang pinang-asar sa akin.

Na-reject pa ako sa isang bar bago kami umabot hanggang sa 7-11 malapit sa Chino Roces Avenue. Nagawa namin ito kakahanap ng maiinuman na tatanggap sa amin. Sa aking desperasyon, pumasok ako sa katabing bar malapit sa convenience store. Nakapasok naman ako dito ng hindi sinisita. Maganda rin naman ang sounds at katanggap-tanggap naman ang aura.

Ngunit, sa mga sandaling iyon, pagod na ang aking dalawang kasama.

Free na kaming uminom sa bar nang biglang nag-aya si Dodong ng:

"Tara balik na lang tayo sa Greenhills."

Umuwi kaming sawi galing sa Timog dahil sa akin.

Yun ang aking karma.

---

Epilogue: Pasado alas dos ng madaling araw. Sa saliw ng musika na nagmumula sa laptop ni Dodong; Sa guitar instrumental na nagpapakalma sa aking badtrip na damdamin dahil sa mga nangyari pa kinagabihan; Sa nakakalunod na usok ng yosi na hithit-buga kong pinapakalat sa hangin habang lumalagok ng isang bote ng San Mig Light, narealize namin na tila kami-kami marahil ay tinakdang maging magkakasama panghabang buhay.

"Imagine ano kaya ang itsura natin kapag singkwenta na tayo," tanong ni Roy.

Si Dodong naman ay nagboboses matanda. Nakalimutan ko na kung ano ang kanyang sinabi.

Habang nag-uusap silang dalawa, mataimtim akong nakatitig sa madilim na bahagi ng Ortigas kung nasaan naroon ang Wack Wack Golf Club.

"Five, Fifteen, Fifty... Future ito." pabulong kong sinabi sa aking sarili.

Bad Boy

While hanging out in G4M this evening:

---

10 Nov 2007, 19:09
juicytyt_ass: fuck mo ako..asan k?

10 Nov 2007, 19:17
You: nasa earth pare.

10 Nov 2007, 19:24
juicytyt_ass: ayos din sagot mo ano...intayin mo ang hagupit ng kidlat n tatama sau kung nasan k man sa earth..gud look...expect the cursed u been waiting for!

10 Nov 2007, 19:27
You: Magbasa ka ng profile. Kala mo lahat ng tao dito eh palakantot eh.

---

It really pisses me off when some guy would send me a private message only to leave such blunt and sleazy invitation like what is written above. I understand that G4M is a cruise site. There is no doubt about that. But to go down to such level as what he did in order to get my attention, simply turned me off.

I don't go for guys who doesn't have any respect or pride for themselves.

What's really sad is that he ain't good-looking either to make such overconfident invitations. Confident guys would prefer to do it discreetly and indirectly. To give you an idea about what he looked like; he is chubby and pale-looking. Don't get me wrong though, sexual standards is different from friendship. I have friends who are chubby, and even effeminate - and they don't have any complains on how I treat them and our friendship. My point is, desperate guys who swallow whatever pride that remains in them just to get a guy in bed severely disappoints me.

Pathetic isn't it?

My reply was very sarcastic. It was even harsh to some extent because I could have said it in a nicer way, or even ignored his message compeletely. But without bitchy guys like me, no one would rudely awaken them to the reality that guys sought their equal. He should learn from the hipons in G4M, who never dared to show their head pics. If they know that they are no match for masculine and slim-toned guys, then there is a proper and sensible way to reach out and establish friendly contacts with these guys.

He should learn that not all members of G4m are promiscuous enough to fuck anyone who sends them sexual favors. Guys like him should learn to read profiles.

Karma might get back at me for sure. But at least, I gave someone a valuable lesson in handling their PLU to PLU affairs. For if he continues to send improper and sleazy invitations like what I received to guys in the website;

He would continue to attract sarcastic, or even harsh replies from guys who does not find him their kind of trip.

Blood Allegiance (Second Part)

For a guy to blurt out words of flattery to another guy - especially to a stranger was never my cup of tea. If I found someone extremely attractive, I would rather confess it (in a giggling, teenybopper-like manner) to a friend or in the blog than tell the person directly what I thought about him. In that manner, I could express my inner feelings (usually of lust) without compromising my image as a proud and indifferent PLU. It has always been my way. Therefore, when the host directly addressed his admiration towards Marvin himself, tumambling talaga ako sa ginawa niya.

What's more amazing was that the host did it in a way that his complements appeared more as a sincere admiration rather than an attention-catching trick laced with hidden motives. Astig nga eh. He never smirked or smiled lustily when he told Marvin those words and his eyes spoke like a star-struck kid meeting his idol for the first time. It was a classic statement I will never have the balls to speak on my own.

---

When the commotion had settled, we talked about how we found each other. My reincarnations reveal that I am an ancient blogger, while Davenport and Turismoboi were from G4M United. Surprisingly, Macoy and Tripper had their part as to how some bloggers were inspired to create their own blogs. You see, before these guys wrote their own online journal, the only ones existing (and read) were from Badinggerzie, McVie and Wanda Ilusyonada. We all agreed that Macoy's and Tripper's had their own distinct and masculine personality that appealed to us all.

The host paid our bill. It came as a pleasant surprise since I was geared up to splurge on food after my successful week-long enrollment in the Masters that morning. Before we left the restaurant, the host had the opportunity to have a photo-op with Marvin. His smiles alone would tell how kilig he was.

---

At dahil busog pa kaming lahat at tinatamad maglakad, nagkasundo kaming tumambay sa isang coffee shop sa ground floor ng Gateway. Sa dami ng kinain ko, unang hinanap ko ang yosi. Mabuti na lamang at smoker rin si Gripen kaya naman nang makahanap kami ng upuan sa coffee shop, stick kaagad ng yosi ang sinubo ko sa halip na bumili ng kape. Sosyal itong si Gripen. Sa halip na Marlboro ang yosi namin, West ang yinosi namin buong time na nasa kapihan kami.

Habang nagkakape, napag-usapan namin ang nabubuong mga samahan sa blogspace. Ika nga, ito'y mga little circle na independent sa bawat isa. Naroon ang tropa nina Jhed na may kapihan linggo-linggo. Naroon rin ang blog nina Misis J at ang kanyang mga ka-federasyon mula sa UST. Nakakatuwang isipin na kahit ang ilan sa amin ay tago sa aming mga kanya-kanyang trabaho, tanggap namin ang diversity ng bawat grupo. Ang ilan nga sa amin na matuturing na discreet at straight-acting ay nagagawa pa ring magbasa ng mag-gay linggo sa tulong ng mga journal ng mga effeminate. Hindi man kami masyado makaintidi ng salitang ito, ang napupulot naming aral sa kanilang mga blog ay matuturing na universal.

Halimbawa na lamang ng blog ni Wanda at Mandaya.

Parehong may parlor ang dalawa. Ang isa ay tubong Maynila samantalang ang isa naman ay blogger mula probinsya. Ang isa ay nakilala at inabangan dahil kay Marcus, samantalang ang isa naman ay hinangaan dahil sa kanyang matagumpay at makatotohanang portrayal ng mga bayot sa probinsya.

Ang kay Wanda ay sumasalamin sa henerasyon naming mga namulat kay Shaider, Batibot at sa TGIF. Ang kay Mandaya naman ay nagbibigay ng perspektibo kung ano ba ang buhay bading sa malalayong probinsya. Nakakatuwang isipin na tila ba higit na respetado sa kanilang lugar ang mga bading - hindi katulad dito na laging hitsura at kilos ang unang basehan bago ka matanggap ng karamihan.

Ano man ang pinagkaiba ng dalawa, pareho itong nagpapakita ng bahagi ng buhay-PLU na nakakarelate sa aming lahat.

---

Nagpatuloy ang kwentuhan namin kahit papalubog na ang araw. Si Kiddo ay nanatili pa ring tahimik kahit ang kanyang buddy ang siya ng sentro ng usapan. Palibhasa'y nasa "industriya" si Reigh kaya't lahat ng scoops ay nasagap namin noong hapon ding iyon. Anuman ang kanyang mga kwento ay amin-amin na lang. Mahirap nang ma-quote ng The Buzz, sakaling isulat ko dito ang mga revelations niya.

Marami sa amin ang may iba-ibang trip pag-usapan. Naroon si DK na maka-behbe, at sa tuwing sa usapang relasyon napupunta ang aming kwentuhan ay siya ang laging nagiging bangkero. Si Gripen naman ay tungol sa stock market at business prospects ang interests. Kung mayroong di malayong maging tycoon sa amin balang araw, siya na siguro iyon. Mahilig din siya sa eroplano. Kwentuhan mo siya tungkol sa fighter jets at tiyak na mauuwi sa F22-Raptor ang usapan niyo.

Si Cj ay maasahan mo tungkol sa subject na call-center. Sa dami ng call centers na pinagtrabahuhan nitong binatang ito, kaya niyang ma-discuss sa iyo ang operations ng isang call center at ang mga tsismis na kumakalat dito. Bukod kay Gripen, si Cj na siguro ang pinaka-riot kong nakasama sa lakad naming mga bloggers.

Sa dami ng nabahagi nilang apat, palubog na ang araw nang magpaalam sa amin si Reigh at Kiddo upang puntahan ang isa pang lakad. Si Davenport naman ay may kikitain na kaibigan sa Megamall at nagbabalak na rin lumayag.

---

-tobecontinued-

Blood Allegiance (First Part)

"Kuya ang gwapo mo..."

He suddenly blurted out while we were having our late lunch at Cafe Ten Titas in Gateway Mall. The guy he complemented was Marvin Agustin. I learned that he owns the restaurant and since Reigh (Kiddo's buddy) was with us, they nodded at each other when Marvin noticed him. It turned out that they know each other because they are working in the same industry he is connected with.

This guy who hosted our lunch had just arrived from the Middle East. He has a rounded face, chinky eyes that smile despite his formal approach and a fair skin that rivals those of DK and Kiddo. He spoke rarely, contrary to what his personality is in his blog. Since he and the rest of the gang went out before, I am like a rookie in their group. Nevertheless, as what Davenport said when he met them at Mall Of Asia several weeks ago, it feels like meeting a person for the first time whose a quarter of his life you already know from his writings alone.

And so there we were: Kiddo, Reigh, DK, Gripen, Davenport and Turismoboi. As promised to the host, I would show up despite my busy schedule today. In fact, I had just finished my enrollment in the graduate school which took an entire week to complete. I was planning to go to UST to check whether they are still accepting Freshmen applicants for the next school year after that, it was my schedule to hit the gym for my routinely body maintenance. However, I knew there would be some adjustments. I had to show up and spend longer time with them because of all the friends and groups I am connected with, they are among the first people to know what's happening to me.

They are the silent witness to my so-called life.

It was the host's treat. We ordered two large plates of Adobo Rice, Sisig for Reigh, Humba for Kiddo, Pasta for Turismoboi and finally Shanghai Spring Rolls and Mechado for the rest. I ordered Tropical Chicken because its Chicken Ala King taste lingered for four months after DK brought me there to meet Kiddo for the first time.

"Galit galit muna ha!!" DK announced before gorging his hill-sized serving of Adobo Rice on his plate. But bonded friends would always forgo their hunger in order to hear and share the latest scoops that happened in their lives after their last partings. Blogs are full of juicy stories and hot gossips for they usually contain the innermost feelings of the author. There are also some "encrypted" entries that needed more expounding. Davenport updated us with the recent developments in his love life, while Turismoboi sought our advice about his plans to go to Singapore to seek greener pastures in that tiny country.

Gripen shared his frustrations about his recent losses in the stock market, as well as the postponement of his first solo flight in the pilot academy. I was surprised when CJ mentioned that he offered prayers for his safety. Imagine the bonding of these people. Reigh and Kiddo sat in the opposite edge of the table. Being near the proximity of DK and the host, they had their own conversation. Since CJ was one of the most bubbly guys in the table, he had the attention of those of who were near his proximity.

We talked about boys, his bitchy boss and the apparent acquaintanceship of Davenport to Roy, my bestfriend.

Suddenly, Marvin Agustin arrived and our focus were immediately shifted towards his handsomeness and charming appeal.

Being seated directly opposite this celebrity, I had to turn my head 360 degrees just to have a glimpse of his spotless moreno face. As a younger boy, he was one of the celebrities that I admired. Forget his love team with Jolina - what I liked most about him was his portrayal of Lordino in Super B. I would never forget how he modulated his voice to mimic the sound of an eccentric teenager who was possessed by the divinity in some trivial news clip that popular during my childhood.

He was also Juan in the movie Ang Tanging Ina. Who would ever forget that?

He then went to the kitchen which was located beside our table. Apparently he was doing a thorough inspection of his business. Gripen even joked that he went near us, so I could gaze into his provoking eyes when he gets out. When he got out of the kitchen, instead of me getting a full view of him, Marvin went to our table to exchange pleasantries with one of our companions. Reigh used to be his dance instructor when he became a host of this defunct dance show aired in the local channels several years ago.

When he was introduced to us, the host suddenly said in a loud, direct and manly voice,

"Kuya ang gwapo mo!!"

Not only was Marvin stunned by his admiring remarks, all of us who were seated in the table stopped our chatter in order to pause for that priceless moment and absorb whatever verbal exchange that took place.

From that point, I realized that this lunch meeting was destined to be a moment worthy of treasuring for an entire lifetime.

I swear it will be long remembered.

---

-tobecontinued-

Just My Infatuation

The kid on the right is Clyde Harper. He is cheerful guy with a boy-next door type personality. The big guy in front of him is Von Finnell. A rugged man with a mysterious, playful and happy-go-lucky personality. They may look like brothers but are actually very distant cousins. They both live with Clyde's aging mother, Minerva, who keeps herself busy by organizing tea parties to expand her social network around Pleasantview.

Von moved into the Harper's home with a stash of cash inside his bag. Rumors abound that he is being pursued by the authorities from a distant small town northeast of Sim City.

Despite having a dubious past, Clyde sees Von as his big brother. He sees him as a cool and carefree guy that he wishes to emulate when he grows older. Von never had someone to look after in his entire life, but Minerva insist that he looks after Clyde like his young brother. Von may complain of this responsibility, but he secretly admits that the more he gets to hang out with Clyde, the more he becomes fond of him - as a companion and confidant. He is the only person who knows his deepest secrets - especially his illicit affairs with ladies before leaving his small town.

In a short span of time, these two guys found companionship they never had with others. Will this deep friendship lead into something only the two of them know?

Only time, will tell.

---

You're the devil in me I brought in from the cold
You said your body was young but your mind was very old
You're coming on strong and I like the way
The visions we had have faded away
You're part of a life I've never had
I'll tell you that it's just too bad

- Chemical Brothers feat Noel Gallagher, Setting Sun

Scribble Two

Express your thoughts in 120 seconds or less.

Nasa work ako ngayon.
Natulog ako ng 4 am kanina kasi nanood ako ng The Island.
Problema ko tuloy mamaya kung paano ako makakapag-gym ng puyat.
Para tuloy akong vegetable ngayon sa work station.
I'm addicted to Sims 2.
Hindi ko gets bakit mahilig
ako gumawa ng role playing na mga eksena.
Para namang walang role playing sa buhay ko.
Naiinggit ako sa mga nakakagimik na mga bloggers.
Hindi naman ako makasama kasi palaging busy at
pagod sa work. Medyo short rin ako sa paggastos
Lately zero ang social life ko.
Ni makapag-clubbing eh hindi ko na magawa.
Ganun talaga pag nasa middle of the week ang day-off mo.
Talagang bahay-trabaho lang ang destinasyon mo
Enrollment na sa school.
Pero wala pa rin akong subjects.
Computerized na kasi ang sistema kaya
naninibago ako sa mga procedures.
Sa tuition fee pa lang
ubos na ang pera ko ngayong November.

Kaibigang Oso

It was a late afternoon last year. The sun's rays were refracted in one of the older buildings that line the stretch of Quezon Avenue. The play of shadows and light creates a surreal image that led to my thoughts to wander. It was a long day, and I was heading back home to take my much-deserved rest.

I was inside a passenger FX, seated just behind the driver. Since there was no music playing in the vehicle's speakers, the music from my mp3 player was the only melody that I hear. As the FX smoothly made its way towards Espana, the alternative songs that I hum reminds me of how different I am from other PLUs. Instead of raving about Regine or Beyonce, I spoke of Our Lady Peace or Powderfinger. I haven’t met anyone who has the same passion and zest when it comes to my music.

I might never meet one at all.

I gazed at the passing cars opposite our direction and wondered whether someone out there would one day sing to me a Goo Goo Dolls song or a Dishwalla’s. I swear that the moment someone does that, I will kiss that person and thank him for making me realize that I am not alone in my interests.

---

kaibigang oso says:
kakantahan na lang kita..

Mugen | Hakken says:
sige kantahan mo ako

kaibigang oso says:
"wish i could be...every little thing you wanted.."

kaibigang oso says:
"all the time.."

kaibigang oso says:
"ohh!! wish i could be every little thing you wanted...you wanted...all the time.."

kaibigang oso says:
"dont give me up, dont give me up tonight.."

kaibigang oso says:
hehehe u know this for sure

Mugen | Hakken says:
Fuck man!

Mugen | Hakken says:
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!

---

This morning, I was talking to a friend in MSN when he suddenly told me that he would sing a song to distract me from my boredom. Since our conversation was candid and naughty all morning, I thought he would just pick a cheesy song he heard from the radio.

I never thought he would sing to me Every Little Thing by Dishwalla.

He never finished the song, for I was sending him confusing and no-sense replies after I figured out the title of what he was singing. He was asking me about my reaction but I could not give him a direct reply.

The conversation went elsewhere, but the song was retained in my head. I never thought he would actually fulfill my wish and what’s so… sweet about it is that he never knew that I kept a promise to myself.

kaibigang oso says:

alis ka na? Beso muna!!

---

I know we are friends and lessons remind me that I shouldn't cross, what should not be crossed. But if I would just be honest with what I feel,

his song moved me.

I could actually give more than what he had asked.