The national elections is just around the corner. From what I've heard in the news so far, several political families are in conflict with one another after family members decide to run for the same government position in office. Here at home, same thing is happening between two families. It's between ours, and my aunts - where my cousin and my sister leads the opposing political parties competing for seats in their upcoming student council elections in their university.
It's no secret that my sibling belongs to an organization, where in my university, people like them are treated with dismay and usually shunned upon. You see them promoting socialism as an alternative to the government, or sometimes you find them chanting "patalsikin si [put the name of the president here]!" in the streets causing annoyance not only of the drivers who have to work for a living, but also of the commuters who are always on the rush as well.
And in so many times and so many instances, we have clashed because of our beliefs. She claims that they could change things by having a long protracted struggle with the "imperialists," while I on the other hand told her a million times over that the "imperialists" are the ones paying my salary. Imagine that.
You see, when you get old enough and starts earning on your own, trivial matters such as student activism and campus politics doesnt matter to you anymore. You sometimes even don't want to talk about national politics and current issues because you know, everything is just a farce to you. You're wise enough to understand how dirty and decieving politics are and in a country like ours where everything could be twisted and flayed according to the interests of those in power, the only way to survive the everyday beating of life is to be cynical about things - even if you have an idea about the truth; or just get out of the country simply to earn more money.
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Same thing is true with my sibling's organization.
Let me put myself in the shoes of the perfect student ripe for brainwashing. I'm a freshman in this prestigious state university. I have no one to talk to and no one to belong to, which in my own mindset is very alarming especially if you see these cool guys swaying people to their influence. Right now, you would look at such things with amusement for you don't need someone's approval just to get accepted. It's alright to live with just a bunch of trusted friends around you.
However, such vulnerability exists in most of us back in those years. Not all of us were gifted with confidence and pakikisama to others to be accepted outrightly by a group. So in truth, we find our own calling - even if this calling comes from the first group to take notice of you.
Back to our flashback, here comes a group of willful students marching along the corridor or along the pavillion bearing red flags with sickles and hammer as a banner. They would chant anything from "karapatan ng mangagawa, ipaglaban" to "stop political killings by the military." just to get noticed by everyone. Since Im just a looser-freshman who have no one else to hang out with, I would find these people cool and interesting to know better. Little by little, I'd find myself hanging out with them, listening to their teach-ins - which are actually propaganda to brainwash unsuspecting kids like me into believing that their version of the history is right and everything else is just a make-believe.
In four years time, I have chanted their slogans with them. I rallied on the streets with them, I made a thousand different fliers with them just to support our "social cause," and I have recruited an army of unsuspecting froshies, that were almost exactly in the same pit just like me four years before. Then, when my seniors have seen the glittering green light dangling in a call center's recruitment desk, leaving me and the organization forever. Those who remained would ask me to set-up the machinery and lead my party's victory in the upcoming student elections because of my experience and loyalty to the organization.
However, in our case, there is a complication that could tear us apart if we can't find any resolve on my sister's case.
The challenge lies with our first cousin. She is already well-entrenched in a rival organization whose aim is to win the elections against my sister's own political party's aspirations. Her mother, who had helped my family in so many ways, I would have a hard time where to start counting suddenly notices my sister's little activity which somehow "distracts our cousin's desire to win a landslide in their elections." or something like that. The point is, there is conflict between them. Then her mother starts complaining at me, which I in turn, shares the same disappointments with hers. After all, I can't stand having to work and earn just a meager salary only to cut my expenses out of my perpetual fear of being pennyless in times of emergencies, while she (my sister) just bum around with her organization and go into shopping frenzy when she's in the mood, while having to show a face that is pro-poor and anti-capitalism. The sheer hypocrisy of things sickens me.
And now that the grudge match is ripe enough to fall upon and tear us apart, the more I am beginning to see that this is not really about stands and principles anymore; it's more of practicality and seriously, utang na loob mentality. Elections come and go, and for student-leaders like my cousin and my sister, this is just a breaker to the boring lives they have in school. But you know what, I think if ever I will have to decide on how to act on this issue, I will put my bets on my mother's aunt.
I will reveal to you the reasons in my next entry.
---
-tobecontinued-
It's no secret that my sibling belongs to an organization, where in my university, people like them are treated with dismay and usually shunned upon. You see them promoting socialism as an alternative to the government, or sometimes you find them chanting "patalsikin si [put the name of the president here]!" in the streets causing annoyance not only of the drivers who have to work for a living, but also of the commuters who are always on the rush as well.
And in so many times and so many instances, we have clashed because of our beliefs. She claims that they could change things by having a long protracted struggle with the "imperialists," while I on the other hand told her a million times over that the "imperialists" are the ones paying my salary. Imagine that.
You see, when you get old enough and starts earning on your own, trivial matters such as student activism and campus politics doesnt matter to you anymore. You sometimes even don't want to talk about national politics and current issues because you know, everything is just a farce to you. You're wise enough to understand how dirty and decieving politics are and in a country like ours where everything could be twisted and flayed according to the interests of those in power, the only way to survive the everyday beating of life is to be cynical about things - even if you have an idea about the truth; or just get out of the country simply to earn more money.
---
Same thing is true with my sibling's organization.
Let me put myself in the shoes of the perfect student ripe for brainwashing. I'm a freshman in this prestigious state university. I have no one to talk to and no one to belong to, which in my own mindset is very alarming especially if you see these cool guys swaying people to their influence. Right now, you would look at such things with amusement for you don't need someone's approval just to get accepted. It's alright to live with just a bunch of trusted friends around you.
However, such vulnerability exists in most of us back in those years. Not all of us were gifted with confidence and pakikisama to others to be accepted outrightly by a group. So in truth, we find our own calling - even if this calling comes from the first group to take notice of you.
Back to our flashback, here comes a group of willful students marching along the corridor or along the pavillion bearing red flags with sickles and hammer as a banner. They would chant anything from "karapatan ng mangagawa, ipaglaban" to "stop political killings by the military." just to get noticed by everyone. Since Im just a looser-freshman who have no one else to hang out with, I would find these people cool and interesting to know better. Little by little, I'd find myself hanging out with them, listening to their teach-ins - which are actually propaganda to brainwash unsuspecting kids like me into believing that their version of the history is right and everything else is just a make-believe.
In four years time, I have chanted their slogans with them. I rallied on the streets with them, I made a thousand different fliers with them just to support our "social cause," and I have recruited an army of unsuspecting froshies, that were almost exactly in the same pit just like me four years before. Then, when my seniors have seen the glittering green light dangling in a call center's recruitment desk, leaving me and the organization forever. Those who remained would ask me to set-up the machinery and lead my party's victory in the upcoming student elections because of my experience and loyalty to the organization.
However, in our case, there is a complication that could tear us apart if we can't find any resolve on my sister's case.
The challenge lies with our first cousin. She is already well-entrenched in a rival organization whose aim is to win the elections against my sister's own political party's aspirations. Her mother, who had helped my family in so many ways, I would have a hard time where to start counting suddenly notices my sister's little activity which somehow "distracts our cousin's desire to win a landslide in their elections." or something like that. The point is, there is conflict between them. Then her mother starts complaining at me, which I in turn, shares the same disappointments with hers. After all, I can't stand having to work and earn just a meager salary only to cut my expenses out of my perpetual fear of being pennyless in times of emergencies, while she (my sister) just bum around with her organization and go into shopping frenzy when she's in the mood, while having to show a face that is pro-poor and anti-capitalism. The sheer hypocrisy of things sickens me.
And now that the grudge match is ripe enough to fall upon and tear us apart, the more I am beginning to see that this is not really about stands and principles anymore; it's more of practicality and seriously, utang na loob mentality. Elections come and go, and for student-leaders like my cousin and my sister, this is just a breaker to the boring lives they have in school. But you know what, I think if ever I will have to decide on how to act on this issue, I will put my bets on my mother's aunt.
I will reveal to you the reasons in my next entry.
---
-tobecontinued-
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