Ad Astra

I had an epiphany two nights ago. While inside the taxi, a colleague of Mami Athena from the radio dub said that "work, only becomes work when we don't really enjoy what we're doing. If we are 100 per cent enjoying our 'career' activities," he said that, "one must be playing."

It struck me deep since I've been thinking about my direction, now that my Masters is in full swing. Definitely, I don't have any plans of going into a new enterprise and leaving the company, which in so many ways had become my playground is something unthinkable. I never thought I would grow in that place, but seemingly, I did.

Anyway, early this year, I made a secret promise to myself to achieve three things in life. The first is to do something about my overweight body. The second is do some progressive activity -particularly supplying myself with new education that would divide my attention from work. And lastly, if fate would be so kind to me, I would seek a path that would lead to career growth. It doesn't mean resigning, but, in my head, if the second aim would not happen, then the next course for me is to look for a writing sideline, or something else that would make my world extremely bigger.

Those were the three things I aimed for last January, and by May, two out of the three aims were already showing signs of developments.

By June, my weight has already dropped from 205 to 180 after pursuing an aggressive weight lost program in the gym. It was hard, but I forced myself to love what I'm doing. At the same time, my application for Masters, was not only approved - I was considered for the Creative Writing Program by UP, which I have never thought could happen. My first choice for taking up masters was either in UE or FEU.

When I was accepted in UP, there was a condition. I should not only pass the prerequisite subjects I will be taking up, I must also achieve an average grade not lower than 2.0 to make it to the cut off. The blog became a witness to such difficult challenge. I have never been into such trial ever in my academic life. So I had to adopt and become a grade conscious student. I would take leaves at work only to focus my attention in my studies. That was how dedicated I was just to keep up the fight.

In the end, I had a victory and that is something I would always be proud of in my life.

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By October, I was already reconsidering whether I could put an end to my first aim since I have almost achieved my target already. Besides the work out has always tied me up from doing other things - such as having a decent sleep in the afternoon or enjoying whatever kiddiehood that's left in me. But like what I've said, old habits are hard to die. After 10 months of non-stop work out, it had become part of my routine already.

So I returned to the gym again.

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I have already settled on the fact that since I was successful in achieving my second aim. I should stop there and leave the third aim for another time. But, fate or luck, seems to be working in favor of me. Also last October, I was promoted to a new account, which turned out to be less stressful and more redeeming than my previous work. Although I am still an operator, it put me in a state where I could earn bigger without doing the same old tiring routine most operators do every day.

It is the freedom I was looking for.

But life never stopped there. Indeed, when a person dreams big and seek ways in order to achieve such dreams, the universe conspires to help that person achieve those dreams. This morning. Somebody from the management asked me some questions. It was an interview of some sort, but at first I never took it formally. After all, I am already happy with the way things are going in my life. And if something higher comes, I never expected it happening real soon.

It was an invitation for promotion. Something I never expected since I have a very poor record when it comes to tardiness and work output. But it seems like the management is willing to forego such blunders considering that I've been one of the longest serving employee in the company. They said, I'm ripe for the picking.

Actually, I could have accepted the proposal when it was revealed to me by the person from the management. However there are certain things that concerned me at first especially its implications to my two other objectives, which are still in full swing long before this new path arrived. I'm concerned whether I could still put up with my work out since I would be spending longer hours at work. I'm also worried whether I could cope up with my studies since I would be having a normal office job.

But this is something that I wouldn't want to miss - for it may never be offered to me again. Besides, it was offered by somebody who gives me a very good reason for staying and growing with the company. From day one, I have never doubted this person's leadership capability.

Perhaps, I could adopt to the new challenge. I could squeeze my gym early in the morning or after work perhaps. They might gave me considerations when it comes to my school activities - especially when I needed to take a day leave to conduct interviews or research. After all, I believed that my schedule would be as fluid as the person who offered me the "junior management" position.

There are other reasons for me to consider this job. But when I ask my heart, what I feel, it tells of fear and uncertainty. A friend is right when she told me that I'm not really as open to leaving my comfort zone when I'm already used to it. I have been so dependent on routine that without it, I tumble.

But remembering my third objective for the year, I cannot help but hear myself telling me that this is what I'm waiting for.

This is the universe's reward for having a great and progressive year, which has been realized because of my sheer determination to do some massive changes in my life in such a very very short time.

I will weigh my options well and I give myself until after the first day of classes to decide. But I can already hear my heart telling me what decision to take.

non est ad astra mollis e terris via

There is no easy way from the earth to the stars.