Precipice

I came at work an hour late yesterday.
Then I was tagged ncns (no-call, no show)
today after informing the team leader two hours
after our shift had started
that I cannot go to work because there was a problem
at home...

Because I woke up at past 8:30 in the morning.

Lately, I feel that I'm half-effective in my
own account. Before, I always get the top spot
in generating message turn-out more than what
my peers can do. But since I don't have the data
right now, I sense that somehow I lost my performance.

What is happening to me?

If this is a hidden, subconscious,
late-reaction psychological disturbance
brought by the "Big Hit" more than a week ago,

Then, I have to rely on my own willpower and self-imposed
discipline to get back on track.
I know, I don't mope at the lost the way I used
to do before. I don't even think much anymore
about the conspirators that were responsible for my
downfall.
But still, I have to address
my own performance drive since it appears
to have suffered a tremendous blow as well.

Somehow, I just feel that the motivation is not there
anymore.