Pulsar: You called my attention Joms?
Joms: Yeah, I need you to stay with me. I need someone to talk to. But I don't want to mingle with Darkstar and Kitsune, you know, I might fall under their combined influence again.
Pulsar: Good. Now I've got you completely surrounded. So how are you lately men?
Joms: I'm good. Just entering a brief cold spell I guess.
Pulsar: Cold spell... Hmm. Let me guess, your thoughts are gloomy again huh? Dami mo kasing iniisip eh.
Joms: Prolly yeah. Every year this cold spell happens. I don't know why I get so worried days before the 15th and also before Christmas.
Pulsar: Don't tell me you're scared of getting old? I thought you're actively pursuing a path where your circles would cover up for you?
Joms: Nope, it's not the age. Its about the people I really care about. I'm scared that they might well, leave me.
Pulsar gently touches Joms' forehead, tapping his subconscious thoughts.
Pulsar: Ah, so you're afraid of Phanks. He complains of a headache these past few days. He doesn't want to listen when you tell him to see the doctor. You remember what happened to Nathan, your friend who collapsed at Megamall several years ago. You're also disturbed by your boyfriend's unusual sweetness. You're not used to it. The more you feel that you're all he got, the more you get protective and responsible... but at the same time you are beginning to feel trapped. It prevents your free-spirit to wander around.
Joms: Wow, I'm amazed with your assessment.
Pulsar: Of course, you must have forgotten that I am you.
Pulsar: To continue. You're good at keeping your fears inside you. Aside from revealing it here, the entire manifestation of your anxieties invade your slumber. You always see yourself running away from something. Sometimes you are chased, sometimes you find yourself hiding behind huge crates.
Nevertheless, you brag to everyone how you were able to reclaim a slice of your childhood by acquiring that Ultraman DVD you brought from Quiapo several days ago. It gives you a brief sense of naivety knowing that a childhood superhero protects you from your destructive thoughts. A friend's revelation about P-Man's post-summer activities had shaken your core. You found an escape through a newly found friend, who exactly reminds you of that same guy who still controls a portion of your thoughts eight months after it all happened. Isn't it pathetic Joms? After all these gravitational readjustments and still, his presence knocks you off from your own axis.
At this point. Joms grabs Pulsar's hand, pushing it away from his forehead.
Joms: Your probing makes me feel uncomfortable.
Pulsar: But I'm setting you free my friend.
Joms: Look, what I wanted is for you to listen and not invade my mind.
Pulsar: Whatever you say Joms. You might agree with me or not, but can you feel it, your burden became lighter?
Joms: But I still feel gloomy.
Pulsar: I think its your hunger that puts you down. Believe me, after you've eaten your breakfast, you will feel much better again.
Joms: How I wish it would be that easy.
Pulsar: Come closer bro, I want to do something.
Joms: What is it?
And so the conversation ends where Joms, beset by early morning anxieties, finds himself in Pulsar's arms wrapped around him. There are times when gloominess and uncertainty can only be bearable by talking to oneself and finding assurance that no matter what happens, struggles are better addressed with an open heart and a reflective mind.
Joms: Yeah, I need you to stay with me. I need someone to talk to. But I don't want to mingle with Darkstar and Kitsune, you know, I might fall under their combined influence again.
Pulsar: Good. Now I've got you completely surrounded. So how are you lately men?
Joms: I'm good. Just entering a brief cold spell I guess.
Pulsar: Cold spell... Hmm. Let me guess, your thoughts are gloomy again huh? Dami mo kasing iniisip eh.
Joms: Prolly yeah. Every year this cold spell happens. I don't know why I get so worried days before the 15th and also before Christmas.
Pulsar: Don't tell me you're scared of getting old? I thought you're actively pursuing a path where your circles would cover up for you?
Joms: Nope, it's not the age. Its about the people I really care about. I'm scared that they might well, leave me.
Pulsar gently touches Joms' forehead, tapping his subconscious thoughts.
Pulsar: Ah, so you're afraid of Phanks. He complains of a headache these past few days. He doesn't want to listen when you tell him to see the doctor. You remember what happened to Nathan, your friend who collapsed at Megamall several years ago. You're also disturbed by your boyfriend's unusual sweetness. You're not used to it. The more you feel that you're all he got, the more you get protective and responsible... but at the same time you are beginning to feel trapped. It prevents your free-spirit to wander around.
Joms: Wow, I'm amazed with your assessment.
Pulsar: Of course, you must have forgotten that I am you.
Pulsar: To continue. You're good at keeping your fears inside you. Aside from revealing it here, the entire manifestation of your anxieties invade your slumber. You always see yourself running away from something. Sometimes you are chased, sometimes you find yourself hiding behind huge crates.
Nevertheless, you brag to everyone how you were able to reclaim a slice of your childhood by acquiring that Ultraman DVD you brought from Quiapo several days ago. It gives you a brief sense of naivety knowing that a childhood superhero protects you from your destructive thoughts. A friend's revelation about P-Man's post-summer activities had shaken your core. You found an escape through a newly found friend, who exactly reminds you of that same guy who still controls a portion of your thoughts eight months after it all happened. Isn't it pathetic Joms? After all these gravitational readjustments and still, his presence knocks you off from your own axis.At this point. Joms grabs Pulsar's hand, pushing it away from his forehead.
Joms: Your probing makes me feel uncomfortable.
Pulsar: But I'm setting you free my friend.
Joms: Look, what I wanted is for you to listen and not invade my mind.
Pulsar: Whatever you say Joms. You might agree with me or not, but can you feel it, your burden became lighter?
Joms: But I still feel gloomy.
Pulsar: I think its your hunger that puts you down. Believe me, after you've eaten your breakfast, you will feel much better again.
Joms: How I wish it would be that easy.
Pulsar: Come closer bro, I want to do something.
Joms: What is it?
And so the conversation ends where Joms, beset by early morning anxieties, finds himself in Pulsar's arms wrapped around him. There are times when gloominess and uncertainty can only be bearable by talking to oneself and finding assurance that no matter what happens, struggles are better addressed with an open heart and a reflective mind.
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