It was past lunch.
I went to his place to hang-out. We were friends since high school and at that time, both of us were exploring our newfound world in college. He was studying in a state university in Manila while I was staking my position in the Royal Pontifical University. That afternoon, he invited me to try something interesting for a teenager's restless mind; Something I would never thought I'd have an encounter with in my entire life. It was an epektos, which most of us would cringe to hear, the moment somebody say the magic word.
In his hand was a small sachet packed with tiny white granules that resembled like tiny crystals. This synthetic dust - destroyer of many lives, was acquired from shady sources surrounding his depressed neighborhood. I don't know how he was able to get one, but it was for all accounts, forbidden to possess. However during those days, it doesn't matter to me. Being an explorer in those early days, I thought, I'd rather have the experience rather than live a life without never feeling how it is to be under its spell. For me, it was an epitome of how to be cool.
Once I have the experience, I would be as astig as those around me.
He opened the sachet and in my ears, I hear a screeching sound of a siren coming from inside the contents. It was of course, just imaginary. The thought of trying something that might destroy me for life somewhat left a tinge of dread as he dashed the contents in a half-folded aluminum foil, which he was holding. The granules rolled until it settled in the middle of the foil. Then, he took a cylindrical object from his pocket and instructed me what to do with the paraphernalia in front of me.
"Susunugin ko to, tapos yung usok, yun ang hihigupin mo ha," he told me.
As a demonstration, he did the first shot. The white granules began to melt and the smoke from its remains went directly to the pipe, that he positioned just above the foil. After a few seconds, the inhaled smoke came out of his nose - the byproduct of the synthetic crystals which had already triggered a synaptic response from his brain.
After his first puff came my turn.
"Itutok mo yung toother sa foil. Wag ka magsasayang ha, P100 pesos isa niyan."
Hesitant at what will I do, I closed my eyes as the smoke began to accumulate inside my nostrils. Since I don't know how to smoke yet, The inhalation I did scattered some of the precious spirits around me. He was telling me to puff it, which I did. But unfortunately, so many granules were already wasted, that I wasn't able to capture its essence. We did several rounds until we have emptied out the contents of the sachet. By that time, my head was somewhat heavy, but I was still cool enough to be aware of my surroundings.
"Feel mo bro, nag-aalsa ang balat mo?" He commented.
It didn't take long for us to settle down. As a post-chill session, we went outside his house to hang-out elsewhere. I felt restless and in order to counter the effect of the white granules, I suggested that we go to Robinson's Place instead. He agreed to my suggestion since it would be my treat. Nevertheless, the restlessness did not stop there. We walked and talked from the mall to the edge of CCP - at the breakwater which used to be our favorite hang-out when watching the sun set in Manila Bay until it was utterly destroyed by a freak storm several years later.
The Ishi sessions never happened again. My friend was also able to save his future and declare himself abuse-free before the school year had ended. As for me, I found the confidence to match my peer's "coolness" through other means - which I later realized that would never be found in doing deviant activities. My other meaningful and life-changing experiences armed me with the "coolness" to get ahead of them before we graduated in college.
More than eight years later, I had encounters with other substances such as Tsongkii and Poppers, which I embraced as part of my life-exploration agenda. I could have taken the Happy Pill during the height of my clubber days in Libis and Timog if someone offered me one. Unfortunately, my stinginess prevented me from trying that substance, even if my late father had accused me many times of being addicted to that pill.
Looking back, I sometimes wonder whether such brush with substances had a long-term effect on me. Of course, I am confident that I am drug-free, and that I never became dependent from these substances.
But.
When I hear that people look up to me because of what my life is right now, it makes me wonder if they would still feel the same once I reveal that
Yeah...
Pulsars are Neutron stars that came from a collapsed stellar object, which secretly keeps a Blackhole within its tiny rotating beacon of light.
---
Ishi-Bashi
you make me fly
high above the
addicted sky...
- Ishi-Bashi,
Poem Book Five: Everything Begins At The End
I went to his place to hang-out. We were friends since high school and at that time, both of us were exploring our newfound world in college. He was studying in a state university in Manila while I was staking my position in the Royal Pontifical University. That afternoon, he invited me to try something interesting for a teenager's restless mind; Something I would never thought I'd have an encounter with in my entire life. It was an epektos, which most of us would cringe to hear, the moment somebody say the magic word.
In his hand was a small sachet packed with tiny white granules that resembled like tiny crystals. This synthetic dust - destroyer of many lives, was acquired from shady sources surrounding his depressed neighborhood. I don't know how he was able to get one, but it was for all accounts, forbidden to possess. However during those days, it doesn't matter to me. Being an explorer in those early days, I thought, I'd rather have the experience rather than live a life without never feeling how it is to be under its spell. For me, it was an epitome of how to be cool.
Once I have the experience, I would be as astig as those around me.
He opened the sachet and in my ears, I hear a screeching sound of a siren coming from inside the contents. It was of course, just imaginary. The thought of trying something that might destroy me for life somewhat left a tinge of dread as he dashed the contents in a half-folded aluminum foil, which he was holding. The granules rolled until it settled in the middle of the foil. Then, he took a cylindrical object from his pocket and instructed me what to do with the paraphernalia in front of me.
"Susunugin ko to, tapos yung usok, yun ang hihigupin mo ha," he told me.
As a demonstration, he did the first shot. The white granules began to melt and the smoke from its remains went directly to the pipe, that he positioned just above the foil. After a few seconds, the inhaled smoke came out of his nose - the byproduct of the synthetic crystals which had already triggered a synaptic response from his brain.
After his first puff came my turn.
"Itutok mo yung toother sa foil. Wag ka magsasayang ha, P100 pesos isa niyan."
Hesitant at what will I do, I closed my eyes as the smoke began to accumulate inside my nostrils. Since I don't know how to smoke yet, The inhalation I did scattered some of the precious spirits around me. He was telling me to puff it, which I did. But unfortunately, so many granules were already wasted, that I wasn't able to capture its essence. We did several rounds until we have emptied out the contents of the sachet. By that time, my head was somewhat heavy, but I was still cool enough to be aware of my surroundings.
"Feel mo bro, nag-aalsa ang balat mo?" He commented.
It didn't take long for us to settle down. As a post-chill session, we went outside his house to hang-out elsewhere. I felt restless and in order to counter the effect of the white granules, I suggested that we go to Robinson's Place instead. He agreed to my suggestion since it would be my treat. Nevertheless, the restlessness did not stop there. We walked and talked from the mall to the edge of CCP - at the breakwater which used to be our favorite hang-out when watching the sun set in Manila Bay until it was utterly destroyed by a freak storm several years later.
The Ishi sessions never happened again. My friend was also able to save his future and declare himself abuse-free before the school year had ended. As for me, I found the confidence to match my peer's "coolness" through other means - which I later realized that would never be found in doing deviant activities. My other meaningful and life-changing experiences armed me with the "coolness" to get ahead of them before we graduated in college.
More than eight years later, I had encounters with other substances such as Tsongkii and Poppers, which I embraced as part of my life-exploration agenda. I could have taken the Happy Pill during the height of my clubber days in Libis and Timog if someone offered me one. Unfortunately, my stinginess prevented me from trying that substance, even if my late father had accused me many times of being addicted to that pill.
Looking back, I sometimes wonder whether such brush with substances had a long-term effect on me. Of course, I am confident that I am drug-free, and that I never became dependent from these substances.
But.
When I hear that people look up to me because of what my life is right now, it makes me wonder if they would still feel the same once I reveal that
Yeah...
Pulsars are Neutron stars that came from a collapsed stellar object, which secretly keeps a Blackhole within its tiny rotating beacon of light.
---
Ishi-Bashi
you make me fly
high above the
addicted sky...
- Ishi-Bashi,
Poem Book Five: Everything Begins At The End
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