I could just imagine.
Throngs of gay men and women, in all hues and colors converging at Plaza Rajah Soliman in Malate. These queer folks wore pink and baby blue; some wore white shirt with red ribbon print centered on their shirt. The get-up was meant to be a wake-up call for everyone to be aware of the growing threat of HIV-AIDS. Those who wished to be fabulous had their hair done so high, it made them indeed closer to "god" or "fairy godmother," or any other divinity they wished to adore. Some wore drag costumes while others paraded along the slum-infested streets like they were in a local Miss Gay pageant. I am not sure how it exactly went, but as far as I am aware, the queer folks marched and chanted "equality for all" from San Andres to Pedro Gil to Taft Avenue in Manila. Onlookers could only watch in amazement at such glamorous spectacle that happened before them yesterday afternoon.
Twice I was asked to show up. One invitation came from my colleague Dexter, who happened to be one of the PR officers of this year's Pride. Another was from Eon, who already wrote a lengthy and prolific entry about the relevance of such event to our lives. Even my close friend XP, asked me if I would go to the Pride March for he was interested to join as well. Unfortunately, I had other engagements and much as I would love to show up and cover the activity for my blog, the conflict forced me to choose my priorities. I chose to attend a more personal PLU event over the universal appeal of the Pride.
Simply because I honestly felt that I'm not yet ready to come out in the open and be one with the community.
Nevertheless, I sympathize with my brothers and sisters who are fighting for my cause. I believe that despite the perceived openness of our society, we haven't achieved that kind of equality where sexual preference or gender identity does not affect the grounds for one's merit or promotion. I also know that there is an urgent need for laws that would protect and acknowledge same-sex couples in all government transactions. Personally, I would like to be acknowledged as the legal partner who have the rights and control over my buddy's resources in times of distress. Lastly, despite living in a little world where homosexuality is accepted, I am aware that discrimination still exist beyond my confines. This is why there is still a need to hide inside the closet or wear a mask when engaging with straight people:
My preference choice is not fully accepted by everyone around me.
The struggle against discrimination and the search for equality is like a long protracted war where one's gain is lost constantly because of helplessness and fear to assert our rights as homosexuals. It appears that our past and present actions had overshadowed our ability to effectively protect ourselves against those who may take advantage of our vulnerability.
This year, a dear friend was harassed by the Pasay Police and was accused of doing something indecent in public, which I know that he did not. He was threatened of being presented to the media as an offender. In exchange for his freedom (and his date's) they were asked to give up a huge sum of money. They got their freedom that night, but it was the beginning of their decline as constant date partners.
The incident alone would have been a good reason for me to stand up and join the fight against discrimination and abuse, which was one of the main objectives of the march yesterday. Sadly, despite my annual promises of joining the event, I chose to duck again and let other brave souls fight my fight. While reading Eon's entry before I started writing my own thoughts about the pride, it almost felt shameful knowing that I could have done something for the benefit of everyone.
But I've done nothing so far.
However, looking at the bigger picture, I know that there must be a strong reason for me to work underground in behalf of the community. You see, when you look at the current PLU demographics in the country, (provided by G4M, Manjam, Downelink etc.) there is a strong possibility that a bulk of non-straights remain hidden in the dark. They are like Orcas emerging from the depths of the ocean only to hunt down willing and unwilling preys in the endless game of fuck and run. Of course, there are those who are genuinely seeking people they can relate to: someone they can call a friend, a tropa or even a brother.
These guys are my focus lately.
My aim is to reach out to these guys and assure them that being homosexual doesn't mean being out and being flamboyant to everyone in public. My goal is to help them protect themselves from predators, and teach them the difference between real, platonic friendships and friendships with benefits, which I honestly believe that doesn't last long in this kind of lifestyle.
My aim is to tell them that one can be gay and still act manly at the same time: That one can be more, simply by accepting in his heart his true sexual identity.
Yesterday, while the rest of the community were proudly marching around Malate, I was with a straight-curious kid who I volunteered to look after in behalf of Centurion, our thread-founder in G4M. For the second time after the thread was founded early this year, our elders have decided to have a grand eyeball in hopes of binding the group into a force that would add a credible voice in that website.
So far, upon Centurion's recommendations, I have three kids to look after.
And in my own little ways; even in the midst of my own big imperfections, to nurture these kids the way Papu, Carlo Vergara, Master Z and other elder men who guided me in my early days would be my contribution for the advancement of the Pride. I may not have been there to parade with the rest of the community, but with the tiny speck of light I shed out, somehow, hopefully, those who would be enlightened by my speck may carry on the battles that I am not yet prepared to face myself.
Throngs of gay men and women, in all hues and colors converging at Plaza Rajah Soliman in Malate. These queer folks wore pink and baby blue; some wore white shirt with red ribbon print centered on their shirt. The get-up was meant to be a wake-up call for everyone to be aware of the growing threat of HIV-AIDS. Those who wished to be fabulous had their hair done so high, it made them indeed closer to "god" or "fairy godmother," or any other divinity they wished to adore. Some wore drag costumes while others paraded along the slum-infested streets like they were in a local Miss Gay pageant. I am not sure how it exactly went, but as far as I am aware, the queer folks marched and chanted "equality for all" from San Andres to Pedro Gil to Taft Avenue in Manila. Onlookers could only watch in amazement at such glamorous spectacle that happened before them yesterday afternoon.
Twice I was asked to show up. One invitation came from my colleague Dexter, who happened to be one of the PR officers of this year's Pride. Another was from Eon, who already wrote a lengthy and prolific entry about the relevance of such event to our lives. Even my close friend XP, asked me if I would go to the Pride March for he was interested to join as well. Unfortunately, I had other engagements and much as I would love to show up and cover the activity for my blog, the conflict forced me to choose my priorities. I chose to attend a more personal PLU event over the universal appeal of the Pride.
Simply because I honestly felt that I'm not yet ready to come out in the open and be one with the community.
Nevertheless, I sympathize with my brothers and sisters who are fighting for my cause. I believe that despite the perceived openness of our society, we haven't achieved that kind of equality where sexual preference or gender identity does not affect the grounds for one's merit or promotion. I also know that there is an urgent need for laws that would protect and acknowledge same-sex couples in all government transactions. Personally, I would like to be acknowledged as the legal partner who have the rights and control over my buddy's resources in times of distress. Lastly, despite living in a little world where homosexuality is accepted, I am aware that discrimination still exist beyond my confines. This is why there is still a need to hide inside the closet or wear a mask when engaging with straight people:
My preference choice is not fully accepted by everyone around me.
The struggle against discrimination and the search for equality is like a long protracted war where one's gain is lost constantly because of helplessness and fear to assert our rights as homosexuals. It appears that our past and present actions had overshadowed our ability to effectively protect ourselves against those who may take advantage of our vulnerability.
This year, a dear friend was harassed by the Pasay Police and was accused of doing something indecent in public, which I know that he did not. He was threatened of being presented to the media as an offender. In exchange for his freedom (and his date's) they were asked to give up a huge sum of money. They got their freedom that night, but it was the beginning of their decline as constant date partners.
The incident alone would have been a good reason for me to stand up and join the fight against discrimination and abuse, which was one of the main objectives of the march yesterday. Sadly, despite my annual promises of joining the event, I chose to duck again and let other brave souls fight my fight. While reading Eon's entry before I started writing my own thoughts about the pride, it almost felt shameful knowing that I could have done something for the benefit of everyone.
But I've done nothing so far.
However, looking at the bigger picture, I know that there must be a strong reason for me to work underground in behalf of the community. You see, when you look at the current PLU demographics in the country, (provided by G4M, Manjam, Downelink etc.) there is a strong possibility that a bulk of non-straights remain hidden in the dark. They are like Orcas emerging from the depths of the ocean only to hunt down willing and unwilling preys in the endless game of fuck and run. Of course, there are those who are genuinely seeking people they can relate to: someone they can call a friend, a tropa or even a brother.
These guys are my focus lately.
My aim is to reach out to these guys and assure them that being homosexual doesn't mean being out and being flamboyant to everyone in public. My goal is to help them protect themselves from predators, and teach them the difference between real, platonic friendships and friendships with benefits, which I honestly believe that doesn't last long in this kind of lifestyle.
My aim is to tell them that one can be gay and still act manly at the same time: That one can be more, simply by accepting in his heart his true sexual identity.
Yesterday, while the rest of the community were proudly marching around Malate, I was with a straight-curious kid who I volunteered to look after in behalf of Centurion, our thread-founder in G4M. For the second time after the thread was founded early this year, our elders have decided to have a grand eyeball in hopes of binding the group into a force that would add a credible voice in that website.
So far, upon Centurion's recommendations, I have three kids to look after.
And in my own little ways; even in the midst of my own big imperfections, to nurture these kids the way Papu, Carlo Vergara, Master Z and other elder men who guided me in my early days would be my contribution for the advancement of the Pride. I may not have been there to parade with the rest of the community, but with the tiny speck of light I shed out, somehow, hopefully, those who would be enlightened by my speck may carry on the battles that I am not yet prepared to face myself.
No comments:
Post a Comment