Sunday, June 17, 2012

Mia Patro

Mugen Sr. In his early thirties

I used to tell my buddies, "ang hirap magpalaki ng tatay..." when you're the one giving me my school allowance. And I really thought I'd be a better manager after you let me run the company for two weeks because you've embarked on a glitzy Eurotrip one summer. I still recall the time you stood between me and the cold bars of a prison cell, because the ex-boyfriend took a leak in one of the side streets of Malate and he was caught by a roving police mobile. One call, and you've saved our assess from getting picked at the "presinto." somewhere in the district. And who would forget the cold treatment I gave you, the bold statement that we're better off with you living with someone else; That we can stand alone, even when the money that ran the house came from your near-empty pockets. Ang angas ko, sa totoo lang. But looking back, all the biting words I said; all the lofty thoughts I had would eventually humble me, after I've had a taste of life.

As your successor.

I cannot remember how long since you've been gone. But there are times before I go to bed, I'd still say the word "dad" and smile.

If you asked me, I just want him out of my life. I want him to leave us alone, since he chose to be with someone else. Tutal, we have learned to live on our own and we don't need him anymore. His mere presence just rattle the peace we have here. Tama na yung ganito. Masaya na ako dito.

Father and Son
Fullmetal Dreams
January 24, 2005

In the deepest reaches of my consciousness, I still miss you being around, looking out and telling me without words.

Everything will be all right.