Friday, August 10, 2012

Values Education

Guy:  Hello
Me:   Hi
Guy:  Can we be friends?

I hold on to the belief that friendship - in its sincerest sense - is nurtured. It must have a foundation, like common interests, shared struggles or at least two people, who are friends, co-habitate a common space. Embracing this philosophy, I consider those I follow on Social Networks friends, if not acquaintances. Ties exists and it's not important to spell it out for all to see.

For this reason, I found it strange when some guy from Twitter, who followed me just recently, asked if we could be friends. Motives aside, (years of experience honed me to read the tell-tale signs) I found the question very perplexing. 

I would have responded in a hostile tone, if not for my partner's reminder - a long time ago - to be nice to everyone. Modesty aside, the change of display image some days ago sent hawks circling above my head. It didn't bother me, and I took their interests as a complement. However, what happened next between me and the guy affirms his penchant for things that are fleeting. 

Or should I regard his social values inferior to mine?

Me:  Sure, walang problema. =)
Guy: Great! Puwede malaman ang number mo? Salamat?

Of the things I find very difficult to give is my phone number. Siguro dahil I hardly send SMS or respond to messages. It annoys me too when people engage me in small talk over text instead of going directly to the point. And to spare these people from my diabolic pet peeve, I'd rather not give my number unless, it is something of great importance and immediate urgency.

I tried to make light of his reasons, especially when I know nothing which connects us. Perhaps my values are obsolete, and that, people these days do indeed embrace the fleeting and the shallow. I wouldn't mind putting into words my hand of friendship, but asking my number is a breach of etiquette.

It's a direct assault of personal space.

Me:  How old are you pare
Guy: 27 po. 
Guy: Kayo?
Me:  19
Guy: Hahay... Ang bata pa pala. -D So puwede ko ba malaman number mo?
Me:  Why ask my number?
Guy: So I can call you?
Me:  I'm not satisfied with your answer. Make it all clear to me.
Guy: I want us to be friends. And to make that happen, mas magiging okay kung may voiced communication din. :D
Guy: Mas ok and voiced communication kesa Twitter.

Me:  Nasusukat ba ang pagkakaibigan sa pagrinig ng boses ng isa't isa?

I would have said a mouthful and give the guy some tips on finding real friendship. But if this is how most people behave online; of how ties are forged without any profound respect for time and familiarity. If I'd only let my old self speak and say, "DP lang yan parekoy." Then there's no point in raising a voice.

Instead, I would leave this entry for others to find, and hopefully, what we cherish as an older generation rubs off to those we will one day leave behind.


Oscar Wilde said...

what's DP?

Nate said...

point taken, kuya! :)

Désolé Boy said...

Suplado ni kuya. Hehe.
Hmmnn 27. I'll volunteer sana na ako na lang i-friend niya. But wait. Baka may magalit. Ting!

LanchiE said...

Always trust your insticts.
Konti nalang ang pwedeng magdeceived sa tenured.


bien said...

Di ba uso naman ang tawagang "friend" among gays and gels, sana nakuntento muna sya dun hahaha, na-excite lang yata sya Mugen. He could have waited no?

Mugen said...


Really questionable motives I tell you. Or you think I am being haunted by my past? Tama ba yung gut feel ko?


If I let my instincts do the replying, dun pa lang sa pag tanong niya ng friend, I would have said. "you don't ask someone to be your friend, you earn it."


Desole Boy.

Hindi puwede, may babycakes ka na. :P

Mugen said...

Mr. Wilde:

Display picture sir, on Twitter.


Just can't let the issue pass. :(

MEcoy said...

i colud see your point there
well i think tama lng na di mo binigy no. mo mahirap na

Anonymous said...

napaisip tuloy ako kung paano ko nakuha number mo. hahaha.

- hulaan mo kuyaaa J!