Sunday, April 5, 2015

Designed To Unlove

To move on and seek another person to spoil my affection could have proceeded without delay, had my life been as conventional like everyone else. But my days are designed to follow strict routines, to accommodate work that has become more demanding since a colleague passed away late last month. It is as if the noose just got tighter with the confirmation of a co-worker's resignation. He will just stay with the company until next week. Without him to look after the accounts when I am unavailable, managing the day-to-day business operations would become unbearable. 

I'm losing sleep because of it. 

I'm losing faith in my ability to run a show on my own.

I have already given up my weekends for recreation. And on weekdays where I'm supposed to get some rest, client emails (which are coursed through my smart phone), as well as subordinates waiting for my decision on assortment of issues, never really detach me from duties. There is also the Raketship to attend to, and while I haven't failed yet with my deliveries, time no longer affords relaxed working habits. Only the fitness activities have remained consistent - a commitment that has to be followed given the choking lifestyle I chose to lead. 

With time, fast slipping away from my hold, and boys I disappoint with my non-interest to meet for movies, dinners, or even lays, so begins the mechanical transformation. 

Beyond the Weatherman, no longer do I see myself in a romantic pursuit.   

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