Happy Little Camper

Eve.

The director approved my two-day vacation leave early this week. It will start in a few hours, but the excuse I gave was just a ruse. Sabi ko sa e-mail, "I will attend to some personal things," which he replied "ok" after I gave my assurance that I will still look after my shift. 

Buti na lang, he didn't pry into the details of my absence. He won't get an honest answer.

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After four straight years, the helpers won't be baking Graham Cake today. Ang tamis kasi masyado. Nakakaumay na. I recently found out as well that my mom spends more cash in preparing the refrigerated pastry, when buying a cake at Red Ribbon cost less.

When my sister asked what cake I want, I paused. Told them to buy whatever they have in mind. But when my indecisiveness didn't work, I answered,

"Black Forest."

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I was planning that we just dine out tomorrow. But when my mom brought the idea of including my sister and my brother-in-law, I hastily scrapped the idea. The last time the family went out for my mom's birthday treat, they ordered meals like they were the celebrant.  

They even added a pancake surprise for dessert. Nakakahiya lang, we should be the one throwing a party But since we don't have money, my mom ended up paying the bill.

So I asked this morning if we could have Carbonara and Chicken a-la Kiev for lunch tomorrow. 

Mom said, "Tingnan ko pa. Late ka na nagpahiwatig kasi."

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When engraldrin kicked off his 30th birthday with a fab house party early this month, I felt a tinge of envy.

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Gone are the days when someone would invite me at Heat and Conti's for a birthday dinner, or someone calling the shots at the Batcave for a night of drinking and laughter. I should have savored the moments. Who would have thought it won't last.

There will be no parties tomorrow. The next Encanto reunion will be in the honor of a brother returning home for the holidays. It will coincide with the Christmas gathering, if the folks are in the mood for merriment.

As for me, I intend to spend the day like I did in the past years. The return to the Monasterio - after three months of absence - is expected. I might make a detour at Ali Mall or Isetann for some Christmas Shopping. Or maybe, I might pull a surprise and show up at my ex-girlfriend's doorsteps before turning seaward to attend the yearly get-together with my university buddies.

There is no denial that I will be turning a year older more uncertain of the future. The project I was managing at work had pulled out. The Raketship with Bentusi will be no more, and just when I no longer see myself sailing the ocean of stars, I am once again, at the helm of the planetship.

Yet, in spite of the setback and disillusionment, I never see myself getting stuck in my spot. The optimist in me speaks, in toddlers' words, every time I get to play with my nephews, or when I water the plants outside the window, or when I say a little prayer - in the wind - so whoever the words are meant will know that I care,

Still.

Tomorrow is just another day for my boss, my work mates, and to hundreds of friends on my Facebook wall. (I disabled the alert.) But if there is one thing that makes this day special - for me, and for those who would be kind enough to remember - it is my reaffirmation that I will continue moving forward and go on - searching until at long last, I find the purpose and meaning of my existence.

Cheers to the long journey ahead.

The boys really waited until past midnight to blow the cake. Next year, unahan na ito.

In the silence of Mugenspace.

All glory to the hand that shapes the world.

Happy Birthday, Joms.