A few hours before daybreak on the last day of the love month, a gay guy thought of pouring his heart out on Twitter. It caught the attention of the audience and soon enough, another guy felt a relation to the post. The gentlemen seem to share the same sentiments about being unlikable and unloved. Two emotional conditions I have never felt in a long time. So I paid close attention to their conversation; and find out if there is something to learn from their musings.
"According to a very reliable source, hindi ako likable at hindi ako loveable. K, fine. #foreveralone."
"Me too." The other guy segued.
"Oo nga, kaya nga ako iniwan diba?"
A keen observer, known for his compassion made attempts to lift the sagging spirits of the two men. He succeeded only in bringing out the pain and bitterness the guy who recently broke up felt within.
"Huwag ganyan, makakahanap din tayo ok?"
"Di naman ako naghahanap and I don't think papasok ako sa isang relationship ulit."
"Di naman kasi hinahanap yun, kusang dadating kapag panahon. Kapag handa na ang puso."
"Ayoko na. Wala ng darating. Sarado na ang puso ko." He dropped his words with much anguish and spite, I can't help but feel sympathy for the guy.
"Don't say that. Iinom na lang natin yan. Kailangan mo ng kausap. Ako, hopeless romantic for life."
"Ako din. Love is only for those lucky enough to have found it. At last. Forever. But forever is just a concept, so is love."
"First off, nothing is forever. Not life, neither is love. Once you've accepted that, you can love without promises."
"I used to believe in love. Not anymore."
The written exchange ends there. Nothing follows. The empath may have given up on the jaded, or the pair felt it best to take the conversation away from the prying eyes of the audience. As for the guy who said he is unlikable, he chose not to reply and participate in the dialogue. I would rather not speculate on his reasons, but he did engage others in a breezy banter.
Biases aside (the guy who initiated the conversation is someone I used to follow on that micro blog, and the one who was ditched by his partner is known for his abrasive personality), the reason as to why the two seem to share a common fate is caused by their own doing. I may not know much about how they engage others, but judging by how they deal with impressions, it is easy to glean the image they show in public.
The empath, who claims to be hopeless romantic is right. There is no such thing as forever, and given the temporal state of things, would it count to give your best before your time is up?
From the way I let someone in, and in ways I transit out of people's lives, I keep in mind that moments will always be judged by the kindness I have shown. Let's take love out of equation, not even the possibilities of romance. All I know is that as long as you keep the faith, and see beyond the cracks and molten fissures of life, being unlikable will never be a question of state.
Light, no matter how faint attracts attention when loomed by darkness. And kindness, no matter how little overturns impressions of the nastiest kind.