Monday, March 24, 2014

Progressive Love

Previously on That Nishiboy

"This time, I’m loving myself. This time, I’m going put my body on the line solely for the pleasure of it, and not because I’m looking for someone who’ll have me or because I want to take revenge on someone who hurt me. This time, I won’t care if someone calls me depraved or whatever label they decide to stick on me, because I know that I’m doing exactly what I want. Yes, this time I know exactly what I want. This time, I’m not letting anyone near my heart.

Love is unnecessary. Love is something I’m incapable of. I will write about love no more."

I Will Write About Love No More
January 7, 2014

Dear Nishiboy,

Love is something you are capable of and I will write about love with you as the subject. Behind the sleazy, chem-friendly reputation others have grown to regard you, some of us believe that the image is there to mask the fissures you still keep within. The wounds left by your first ex has yet to heal. For this reason, those who have known you from the time you have set foot outside the university, still has to see you settled down with one guy. A partner, who will love you for who you are, your past, and your flaws.


And we know you as the passionate one. You get attached to a guy within days of first contact, and disengage, without looking back when romance don't work. When others negotiate unions in secret, you tell the world how madly infatuated you are. You never give a shit to whispers. It is a pattern we have seen over and over, and when you gave up on that four-letter word whose essence has been lost to our age, I just shook my head in disbelief, knowing you will eat your words soon.

I was right.

Less than three months had passed, you sent fillers on Twitter hinting of a sea change. I even reminded you of your blog entry, of your sacred vow, written not so long ago. We scribblers of stories live in ironies. We tend to be poked at by fate and write our predicament. Annoyed by my taunt, or your resignation to the truth, my question was ignored. You went on with life and brushed off my remark.

Still, I watched you from a distance.

Not only because I am a friend, but because you're a character worth observing. A stellar creature to be awed no matter what others say behind your back. The same narrative amused me (you dated several times, your press release read). I am yet to hear the details when we get to meet.

Nonetheless, budding romance always is, a subject of conversation. Snippets of your account will reach me faster than the sound of your voice.

And we would wager on your ability to keep the romance thriving.

Eyes will be watching.

So make no mistake. Reluctance may clutter my head, but I am hoping that this is the person you are searching. It is your sheer will that holds the tide - of being a step ahead of the consequences of your lifestyle - and the way I see it, luck may run out soon. People like you do not deserve to be ruined.

And so I am placing my bets on your happiness.

News spread, and like a tempest breaking the stillness of a contemplative weekend, I heard that you have told the world - your sphere - that you're in a relationship once again. The swiftness still took us by surprise. With sincerity, we felt relieved.

May it be lasting. May his arrival bring peace and joy to your life. For if this union ends the way it begins. If this narrative tells once more of your hollow cycle, the next time you speak of love (or the refusal of it), your words will find no meaning.

Make it work. Because accept it or not, there are those who will journey with you, in this interesting chapter of your life.


kalansaycollector said...

oh the ironies.

that's what i love about life, it is very surprising at magaling mambwisit ang buhay. lol

Seth said...

Hahahaha so i've come to know a little something from someone more intimate to nishi.

I like how this was written. Hopeful yet with a hint ot cynicism ;)

Nishi said...

ngayon ko lang nabasa. salamat dito joms. and yeah, i'm gonna do my best