Saturday, February 28, 2015

Hopia (Finale)

O pagibig na makapangyarihan
kapag ikaw ay nasok sa puso ninuman 
hahamakin ang lahat masunod ka lamang.

Florante at Laura

February 14. 

The first thing to greet me in the morning, long before my shift was over, was a series of alerts on my mobile phone. On Twitter, someone had noticed the photos I uploaded the day before, and his stamp of approval erased all doubts about the Plan. It was the Weatherman, and even though there was no direct contact between us, I was hoping he knew all the posts on my social media account was for him and no one else. 

There will be no sleep for the day. After hitting the milestone for my Raketship, I left the house before noon to get my bag at Shopwise Harrison Plaza. I forgot to claim it at the counter when I bought the cake for my brother-in-law at the nearby bakeshop. Since I announced at home that Valentines' lunch was on me, a detour at Savory Restaurant in SM Manila was my next destination. Recalling a twitter post from the Weatherman expressing his cravings for sweets, I bought two bars of Swiss chocolate in the supermarket as well. Mint and Orange. The intention was becoming clearer, and I didn't mind being obvious. I have been given one chance to make an impression, and despite being unsure of the outcome, I choose to follow my yearning and deliver what I had in heart.

The matriarch wasn't even done yet with lunch and there I was, leaving home again to check out the Edsa Garden Store near Quezon Avenue. When the Manila Seedling Bank was demolished two years ago, they moved across the highway to set up shop and sell herbs I grow at home. The Weatherman told me he'd like to try gardening. Might as well have his first mints and lavenders come from me.

Task complete and I was back home once more. But still, I haven't sent an SMS to my Valentines' believing he was out with his siblings - or maybe, even friends. I have entrusted everything to prayers knowing the answers lie upon the success of this idea. Between dusk and early evening, I preoccupied myself writing snippets for the side job. My mother, which I have to help get upstairs to her room usually arrives at past 8. Only then can I leave the house and travel south for the big surprise.


They say, even the best laid plans sometimes fail, and it's a good thing I kept my expectations low or I'd be crushed by the epic failure. Consciousness afforded me to accept defeat, should some random event deviate my clockwork movement.

My mom, who was supposed to come home at 8 decided to go to the mall after class. I waited until past nine for her to arrive, which was a mistake I would regret when I found myself dazed in Sucat when the truth finally slapped me in the face. Between short naps, and checking the Weatherman's twitter account, he left a post about his journey toward the opposite direction. At first, I was resolved to waiting, even when I was certain it would take two hours for him to return. To be sure he knew where I was, an SMS was composed. He replied shortly after the message was sent.

By then, I knew, there's no reason to stay until he comes back.

"Wala eh. Kasama ko mga kaibigan ko." This was the very cause of second guessing the direction of our dating the first time our ties got intense.

"Andito kami sa Luneta. Kararating lang mga 15 minutes ago." The moment he stepped foot outside the FX, I was probably about to disembark the van near his place.

"At one point pala, nagkasalisi tayo. Galing ako sa inyo. May bigay sana ako." Resigned to my defeat, I was still hoping he wouldn't let me get home with the stuff I was about to give.

"Pauwi na rin."

An alternate ending to this story would have been him, knocking at my door at 2 in the morning saying he'd like to stay over for the night. By then, I would have been emboldened to speak my feelings, and perhaps, find out what's in store in our future. To this day, he never acknowledged the SMS, neither did I bring up my unannounced visit at his place. The chocolates were consumed by me. The mint plant had shed most of its leaves, and one of the lavenders ended up in someone else's garden.

The apparent indifferent treatment I received, which he probably felt when it was him trying to get my attention many years back would have spelled the end of our short-lived affair.

But I chose not to give up.

Not yet.

-the end-


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