Saturday, May 17, 2014

The Higher Ground

"I don't owe anyone an explanation. What happened between my ex and I is just between us. Unless the details are shared to you, all you can ever do at this point is assume you can make sense of what happened. This will be my first and only post about the breakup. 

I'm moving forward."

I was told the other day that your romantic relationship had gone kaput. That your cheesy union with that snoot had come to an abrupt end. But instead of getting emo and stuff, you dumped the old guy for the new one, and you had the guts to tell all on Facebook when everyone you know believes you are still with the ex. 

The news, of course, didn't escape the prying eyes of your digital friends. After all, who wouldn't be surprised of the announcement. There was a photo of you - next to your ex - together with your "Supermom" last Mother's Day. The result of your pubic disclosure was collective disbelief. Some thought it was a hoax. Others reluctantly threw their support. While those who didn't approve the budding romance spoke in hushed tones. You will know them by their refusal to respond to your calls for validation. Dazed and confused as to what had just happened, they will scoop the details from common friends. Then attempt to put together the missing pieces. And soon, those we reserve as speculation become established facts.

A morning was spent with friends, and all we did was to decode your movement.

"Magkasama pa nga sila sa Laboracay eh." A friend said on Viber. "Pero I find it weird na they're not as sweet."

"Tapos may time na antagal namin magkasama, tapos magkayakap lang kami kasi 'antaas' niya." He added. "Yung bf, dumaan lang, nag hi-hello tapos umalis din."

"Tho may slight instinct pa rin ako na gusto ko siya tulungan." Another friend confided during the course of our three-way chat. "Pero gusto ko rin siya matauhan."

"Let's wait and see."

Regardless of the cause of breakup, we were displeased with the way you introduced the new guy on social media. It was premature and distasteful. You made him look like a convenient replacement for the one you left behind. (or was it the other way around?) And from the way you wrote your heart on the Wall, you didn't spare a thought about the parting.

You were more excited in taking a journey with the new beau instead of finding closure.

Where is the humanity in that?

Break-up Etiquette - if ever it exists - requires a little discretion in romantic affairs. Especially when your social circles still reel from the shock of the fall-out. You may not care about what people say. But when image matters - especially for someone like you - whose social clout reaches far and wide, sooner or later you will be obliged to explain the details.

And it will be messy affair.

With the ex keeping a lid as to what caused the break-up, while you desperately sell the notion that everything's okay and you're happy with the new boyfriend, your audience sees through the masquerade. Much as they would want to reserve their judgement until the truth comes out, some might have already dismissed you as a heartless loser.

And I would have publicly smacked you in the head for letting yourself sink like that.

But you are my friend - someone who's already been around since the earliest days of my gay life. I still want to protect you no matter how silly some of your actions are. Because I know, you need the voice of reason to get through this difficult chapter of your life.

"Kirsh, an unsolicited advice." I began tapping the keys of my laptop to send him a private message. "The way your Facebook updates read like, you are making a big issue about your breakup. 

I do not know your motivations and the reasons for parting ways. But sincerely, I don't like that doofus even before. I am telling you this as an outsider. If someone who doesn't know you that well reads your updates, it sounds like you're getting back at your ex. Love in silence, for this is what the situation requests. You still have to prove so much with your new relationship.

Best wishes." 

1 comment:

FiftyShadesOfQueer said...

Maybe its his way of moving on. Looking away? Distracting himself? Idk. But I'm glad he has a friend like you who can slap some sense into him.