Middle Management | Boot Camp

Today is my first day-off after a two-week stint at work. Matapos kasi ng training ng new agents last week ay umattend naman ako ng leadership seminar na binigay ng management sa mga officers-in-charge. Dapat ay kasali ako doon sa leadership seminar ng mga team leaders, pero dahil personal na ni-request ng managing director na mag take charge ako sa graveyard shift when its officers were unavailable kaya na-delay ng isang buwan bago ako na-indoctrinate sa mga business practices na ina-apply ngayon sa trabaho.

The adjustment between then and now was very difficult. Maraming beses akong nasabon ng upper management dahil totally opposite ang diskarte ko sa mga tinuro dun sa seminar. You don't look for loopholes. You should never assume things and make excuses for errors. You should back-up your findings with facts. Yung last, na-figure out ko kahit walang training. But the most difficult part was to talk straight. Mahilig kasi akong magsugar coat at mag-beat around the bush kapag nag-eexplain. I should put candor says the superior officer.

Time is wasted.

Nagsimula ang seminar last week. Pati yung weekend rest day ko ay kinuha nito. The seminar was mentally draining. Nung mga first few days eh napagalitan rin ako sa harap ng ibang mga co-trainees. Ang kulit kulit ko daw kasi. Yung mga embarrassment na yun, broke my ego. Mataas na ang pride ko, perfectionist pa ako. So whenever I commit even the slightest of errors at napapagalitan, may lumilipad na resume just so I could pull myself together.

I cannot be mad to the one who puts me to shame. I learn kahit bone-crushing ang approach niya sa akin. I begin to see things in a different perspective and appreciate the value of the business I've held on for five years. Ganun naman talaga. She cannot afford to see me fail. In the first place, she was the one who recommended me for the position.

Life went on kahit exhausting ang buhay sa office. After the 8-hour seminar, takbo kaagad ako sa gym to work out. Nakapag-party pa ako sa O-Bar Ortigas the previous Friday kahit 7 am ang work ko the following day. I met Mister Deja Vu the following day at nag pseudo-date kami. Weekend naman ay binisita ko si ex-Gf sa Fairview at kumita sa isang raket. Monday was gym day. Bonding time ko rin ito sa aking immediate officer na madalas mangsabon sa akin. Tuesday naman ay ginawa ko yung grade sheet ni Mama. May isa akong error na na-commit at nirereverse ko ngayon. These activities are merely there to say I have a life. Pero sobrang nakakapagod pala. Daming times, plakda ako sa kama pagdating ng bahay.

Despite the fatigue, I've learned much from the seminar. Kalimutan natin yung mga business principles na naging points of discussion. Ang mahalaga ay tumatak sa akin yung process, quality, time management at higit sa lahat yung candor na sobrang kailangan ko. Over na ako sa nurturing skills kaya kelangan bawasan ito for others to take me seriously.

And the pay-off was big.

Two days after the seminar was concluded and I could easily tell how my account is doing. I could differentiate the strengths and weaknesses of every agents and I know who to nurture and motivate more. Alam ko rin kung sino ang kailangan ng additional training. I know why our performance slumped this month. One factor, cannot be blamed on us. Kung dati rati eh unsure ako sa mga ginagawa ko, now everything is crystal clear.

One reason why I tend not to focus on seeking employment elsewhere is the responsibility that is being given to me. I could relate with John Stan and Iurico about business practices even when our corporate culture are light years behind. There are downsides though. Simula last March ay bihira lang ako mag-eight hours sa trabaho. Minsan, gigimik na lang ako ay dadaan pa ako sa office just to see if things are doing good. Madalas ay 10 hours ang stay ko sa office. Whether my superior asks it or not, I just couldn't take myself away from the job. Ang daming kailangang gawin.

Kahapon ay nag-dose oras ako sa opisina. Nag evaluate pa kasi ako ng isang agent matapos ang training. I am not satisfied with my performance as a trainer. Hindi ko pa kaya magturo ng maramihang agents. Dagdagan mo pa ng mga inaantok (dahil yung iba ay hindi sanay sa dayshift) at talagang hirap silang ma-process yung materials. To my superior officer, madali lang yun. Habang sinasalo niya ako, I cannot help but wonder, how can I ever be like her.

On my way to the gym, I was so tired, I could not hold on to a single thought. Alam mo yung feeling na laspag yung katawan mo tapos bangenge yung utak mo. Ganun. And for one split second after crossing a road intersection, nagkaroon ako ng moment of rapture: An insight too brief, nakuha mo lang ang essence nito.

Nakita ko kung ano ang nangyayari sa buhay ko.

They say when you're up there, you are alone.

And with great power comes great responsibility.

At 28, I am the youngest to join the middle-management team. I am also the newest among the supervisors.

I like the thought of having power over people.
Pero hindi ko yata gusto ang buhay na ganito.