Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Anti-Planking Act





Everyone knows what planking is and a lot of kids (and stupid adults) have already met their maker by lying their stiffened body, face down in places that are too dangerous for people to attempt such pastime. (such as the corner railing of the balcony) 

But if Congressman Winnie Costelo of the Second District of Quezon City would be asked, what he knew about planking is that its a terrific exercise in public disturbance. He might have gotten the idea from some delinquents who planked along Espana Boulevard to protest the rising oil prices.

Earlier today, the not-so-esteemed but hardworking and eccentric lawmaker from the Batasan announced that he would file a bill banning planking in public. This is to discourage protesters from expressing their grievances by throwing themselves - like a cadaver - at the middle of the road.

In a matter of hours, the chorus of contempt and derision expressed in social media was universal. The nation faces so many troubles and the brightest idea our congressmen could come up with is the banning of an activity that makes no sense - even to the senseless. 

The fad itself is dying out - like the j3j3m0n text talk - which became synonymous with the illiterate just a few years ago. And like the dougie, that everyone tries to dance in the local dance clubs after being mastered by tweens in the US early this year, before we know it, owling on top of the Mabuhay Rotunda would be the new in thing when protesting the next time someone declares a nationwide strike.

I suspect Representative Costelo was just trying to pull our leg for his political gains. The androgynous congressman once even proposed a 4-day work week which, would have stirred pandemonium among BPO Shift managers.

A collective shrug had descended a few days after the bill made rounds in the news. 



The Anti-Planking Bill of 2011 will never reach, even the first legislative reading of Congress. Heck, Congressman Costelo would even get re-elected in his district, not because of the silly bills he authored, but from the media exposure he received for turning the 15th congress into a circus act. 

I was able to read what the bill said. I also learned that planking itself in public does not carry any penalty. Since we are on the subject of the anti-planking bill, let's up the ante by including imaginary sanctions once a person gets caught planking:


SEC 7. Should a student or group of students get caught planking in the streets, government offices and public places, the offender(s) are required to do the dougie with his/their pants down at the middle of a busy road intersection. The offender(s) are also required to render 500 hours of public service cleaning the toilets of government hospitals and a month of forced labour in one of the secret state farms in Mindanao. Before the offender(s) are released from his/their obligations, he/they must pay a bail of no less than P10,000 pesos to be used in the feeding programs of the DSWD. The offender(s) must also promise not to perform the owling posture should it become the new craze when planking dies out.  


Sounds too harsh? I bet it would be fun - like taking your pictures while planking in the oddest places just to impress everyone. And since the activity would be forbidden in the very near future. Let me end this thoughtless blabbing by imitating what everyone does these days:



The balls man, its ouchie!




        

25 comments:

JohnM said...

Hahaha! Nice one! Good thing di natumba yung chair! =P

JC said...

adiiiiiiik ka baaboo! LOL.

@JohnM: bakal yung chair. halos same material nung mga power cages. yung kulay green ay 10kg na weights, yung kulay yellow ay 15kg, yung kulay blue ay 20kg, so matibay yan. haha!

bien said...

Clap clap. Owling Pic nyo naman ni baabaa next time lol

shenanigans said...

"The nation faces so many troubles and the brightest idea our congressmen could come up with is the banning of an activity that makes no sense - even to the senseless."

natawa ako dito.. infairness totoo at ang stupid nung congresswoman na yon kung sino man siya.

mailihis lang ang issue sa pagtaas na langis. di na ba mag ma-mature ang government?

ahmer said...

huwaw! galing mag balance! haha panalo.

Mac Callister said...

hahaha! like na like! nice one!

i am max said...

lakas! plus points for the height!

Anonymous said...

ang yummy lang. haha. peace kay JC.

The penal sanctions to planking: uh, never mind. I can formulate a better one. A harsher one.


Joe

Ms. Chuniverse said...

Pati sa congress may clowns.


And we, taxpayers, are paying for their salaries. hay, Boyoyong na lang, their cheaper.


At talagang nag-plank ka ha.


Hahaha! :)

Désolé Boy said...

So this is how you look like ---- oh, never mind. Me and my wild imagination.
.
.
P.S. Pardon my uncontrollable mind, JC.

ZaiZai said...

haha love the pic! I got into the planking fad too, but it's hard to find places where a 6 footer like me would fit and not fall (and die) btw, cong costelo might as well put a sign on his head na may nakalagay na 'pansinin nyo ako' because really, that's all he's after with this stint of his.

RainDarwin said...

cge! gusto ko ma-aprub ang bill!

i like the section 7 first paragraph, the offender is required to lower his pants to his knees and do the doggie style? tama ba papa joms ? hahahahah.

Seth said...

wow triceps! :)

Nate said...

@seth: pareho tayo na napansin..

@kuya joms: as always, kuya joms, your arms are lovely.. and, panalo ang planking pic!!

Orochimaru said...

the gut in black in the background looks really puzzled

Leo said...

the congressman obviously is not thinking too hard or worst, doesn't know much about his job description.

jetlander said...

di maalis ang mata ko sa blue clad glutes.

itsMePeriod said...

panalo ang braso mo kuya joms! at panalo ang pic..ahahahahaha!

Semaj said...

natatawa ako na naiinis sa panukala niyang iyan. sa dinami-dami ng problema ng Pilipinas, bakit pa yun ang naisip niyang ipanukala?

Dalawang bagay lang ang naiisip ko kung bakit niya pinanukala yun, ayaw niya yung planking dahil perwisyo ata yun sa kanya o nagpapapansin lang para makakuha ulit ng boto gaya ng nabanggit mo sa post mo.

hindi ko tuloy siya iboboto sa sunod na eleksyon kung sakaling tumakbo siya.

odin hood said...

ew ka! nagplanking ka talaga?!

haha this morning ko lang nalaman na lalaki pala si "winnie" hahaha

Von_Draye said...

Hahaha!!

What time was this?!

Nimmy said...

Panalo ang arms! At ang pwet maumbok! Hehe

August said...

sino kumuha nito? Hehe.

Louie said...

Nakakahiya talaga Congressman namin. Gives me more reason why I campaigned and voted for his rival, Kit Belmonte. Nakakahiya talaga.

At may sample talaga ah?! Nice. Hehe.

Viktor Saudad said...

a perfect plank would require tightened abdominals, erectors, gluteals...

Nice one Mugen.

at talagang nagplanking ka for the world to see? hehe. Ew. haha!