Man-Machine Meld

It has been two weeks since the Lesbian Driver's departure. We have no word yet of her whereabouts, or had she safely landed in the Middle East. In the home front, my mom still has to find a driver replacement. Family connections are yet to provide referrals. 

It is difficult to let strangers in. 

As the wait goes on, the FX sits idly in the driveway. Its hood is raised from time to time for routine inspection, and to make sure the radiator doesn't run out of water. I would turn the ignition switch on, step on the gas and rev the engine. This way, the motor oil never turns into gel. It has been this way for the time being.

Twice this month, the matriarch left the house to attend social obligations. First was when she went to a reunion hosted by her college friends. It was a weekend luncheon and I had work. But instead of going to the office, I was swayed to accompany her. She asked if I can spare some time. 

For in her words she said, "I'm getting tired of staying home."

I felt my mother's helplessness. Unsaid, she articulated the feeling of being caged, and the inability to move around like she used to when our driver was still there. She no longer walks without her wheelchair, and to flag a cab proves to be an endless chase. 

Taxis are fairly expensive too.

Sucked into uncertainty, I see despair with my own eyes. For the longest time, I begged not to be groomed as the one taking over. I have yet to make peace with the past. But the longer it takes to find a new driver, and the lingering fear of not knowing anyone who can drive in times most needed goes on, our situation pushes me closer and closer to making decisions that will alter my communion with machines.

Elections are just around the corner and mama needs to vote. The monthly royalties from the publication is due in two weeks. It has to be claimed personally by the matriarch at the newspaper office. Groceries must be procured; someone has to pick up the matriarch when she returns from work.

The car must be at all times kept in good condition. Otherwise it will break down, never to run again.

With great reluctance, a decision was made. No longer can I do nothing while waiting for the replacement to come.

Someone must take the wheel. After getting my student permit at the Land Transportation Office, I will take canned lessons in a driving school. Learn. So that in a few week's time, I can take my belated place on the road.