Until It Sleeps

A text message


"Thanks JM... Mwaaaah... init."

"Init alin?"

"Panahon ahihihi... Tuloy nang init ng katawan ko."

"Hubad ka!"

"Yun na nga ginawa ko."

"Edi presko na."

"D pa rin."

"Tigas ba?"

"Medyo. Kanina pa to. Hahahaha."

Lust, is a four-letter word that weakens bonds when it shows up before the admission of attachment. It values nothing, save for the moment of heat, and tends to suffer cold amnesia, once the craving has been met. 

We know this by way of experience; by going through solo-flight frustrating trips of finding another. The frustration springs not from those we cross paths, it swells from within like a tumor refusing incision. 

We wish, we don't have to go through such exercise in cruelty. Of using someone and engaging in remote passion to suppress the libido. Caution has been said foreword: once one dare cross the line, there is no stepping back. Good intentions become moot. Sweet nothings and implements of romantic notion turn irrelevant.

We can lay out an army of words to articulate our defense. Provocations of the naughty kind become the battleground of a relaxed mind. But when attraction only sees a reflection, and real intimacy is just a figment of the imagination, turning digital to get off sometimes stand in-between candy coated attention and sticky complications.

Less it will hurt when fallout is spelled out.

And so we come to a full stop before setting our sights to a new direction. Pursue, the boy may put forward, but the mind is clear that we mean no union. 

It will be a classic case of "landi landi lang."

We hope that he can see through the growing distance; in the rarity and disinterest in our text reply. Because the way we hear the murmurs of the heart, it will take sometime - a very long time before someone could breach it. At least the boy will have a better standing than the one before him. But sadly, no matter his declaration of attraction, his time is up.

He is just a passing fancy.

"Buti na lang at di ako masyado dumikit."

"Hehehe"

"Oo nga eh, Umiiwas ka."

"Edi natusok ako ng wala sa oras. Haha."

"Kung papatusok lang naman eh. Mabait naman ito."

"Haha masakit."

"Hahaha... trip mo ba naman akong makasama sa kama? Ahihihi."

"Ang libog ay libog. Hahaha."