Friday, December 2, 2005

Opening Salvo (Cofibean Feeling Conyotix Remix)

Beat this mga Mareh!!

I went gaga kanina after writing my last entry. Kasi ba naman, its soo not me. Imagine, worrying about losing the spirit of Christmas. The hell, the Christmas Spirit i've been talking about is for kids right mga mareh? I mean, I should be acting like a 24 year old, even though I still have 13 days to claim that I am 23.

Eniweis, my Mama asked me to go to Makati today to address some business we have with this big insurance company. Si Daddy naman kasi was too good to leave us with massive inheritance after he died. So, don't be surprised if by next year, I'll be talking about buying a condo at the Fort ha! And besides, our old Tamaraw needs to be replaced na. I think I'll tell Mama to buy us a Maybach if we ever get invited by its distributor.

Volvo is so jologs na kasi eh.

---

I was about to leave home when my tibak sister started to nag to me in front of our yaya. She was complaining about why nobody woke her up when in fact everyone WAS waking her up. Stupid talaga mga mareh.

I was soo in the mood to leave the house na, and there she was, making dakdak at me. She even told me na wag na daw akong uuwi ng bahay. As if naman. Maasar lang ako, I'll use my credit card to sleep na lang in Sogo if I want eh.

So there I was waiting for a ride going west while puffing my favorite Malboro Green. Suddenly I remembered an advice from a customer service officer with whom I talked before about how haggard it is to be their office at that time of the day.

Immediately, I took out my planner, changed some schedules for this long day and then I hailed an FX going to Divisoria...

Kasi naman mga mareh, no matter how I deny it. I'm still attracted to bargains no. Even if it's infested with the maralitas and all the bad elements that comes with them.

Kaya hayun, I found myself walking that stupid strip of Recto going to Tutuban Center to withdraw some money from my ATM. Badtrip kasi eh, when would those Chinese Aliens in that place learn how to operate a credit card machine para naman hindi na ako make pila with all those loosers who are afraid to put all their money in their wallets no?

Chos! I'm one of those loosers nga pala. Lol

---

After I withdraw some not-so-big-cash naman from my bank, I was about to enter Tutuban Center when a better idea came into my mind.

I suddenly remembered how loka I got when I discovered this oh-so-kadiri mall somewhere inside the dirtiest part of Divisoria.

Kasi naman noh, before you get there you have to make pasok pa to this series of alleyways that leads to the mall. Imagine the horror making contact with those maralitas who shop there and those who ply their wares. Malay ko ba, some of them might even make tastas of my Jansport bag na.

Buti sana if they are so gwapo. I might even give them a cutesy remark for making pansin of me.
I entered this small street called Tabora. The whole area is known for its paper crafts and things like that. In fairness mga mareh, I saw some drag costumes there. I'm sure my closet transvestite friends (if there's any) would make tili if I tell them this good news.

Honga pala, my theme this year is the bigger the better. Wala lang, suddenly I realized that no matter how chipangga your gift is, the moment the reciever realizes that he got a massive gift, mareremember ka niya until next year.

Ganun naman talaga diba? Jusku, those who gave me bigger gifts last year will recieve a much larger gift this Christmas.

Hindi ko na nga lang sasabihin kung san ko nabili yun.

Kaya ikaw Mami, quiet ka lang jan ha.

---

Finally, I reached my destination.

Right in front of me was the massive, fire-hazard and overly kadiri place known as Divisoria Mall.

Grabe, pagpasok mo pa lang sa entrance, nakakahilo na ang amoy ng maralitang nagkalat all over the place. Good thing, the Chinese aliens who also infest the insides of the mall knows good hygiene or else, I'll make himatay na talaga right there pa lang sa entrance.

In fairness naman, the maralitas are very nice to me. Imagine, I got there in the first place with my Jansport bag never suffering from any laslas.

As if naman they would get something from there noh. Not even my stupid phone is worth the effort of a holdupper.

One thing I hate about Divisoria Mall is that their pasilyos are very very narrow. I bet, if some stupid tindero there make benta glasswares, ay nako wala pang 3 seconds lugi na siya kasi nabasag na ng mga dumadaan yung binebenta niya.

Besides, if that old decrypt building burns. There's no chance talaga for you to make it safe outside. Hay naku, not only will you be burned beyond recognition, even your ashed remains will fuse on the walls. That's how fire hazard the place is.

Pero like what I've said mga mareh, those things they sell there were waaaay beyond the limits of your ordinary tiangge. In fact, I guess all those things the tianggero sells came there in the first place nga eh.

Not even Greenhills can face that fact. The Moros there were once again beaten by the crafty Chinese.

Like they've always did since time immemorial.

Grabe I'm so racist na talaga.

Kaya hayun, I felt the world was at my feet. I imagine other seasoned conyo bargain hunters bowing before my discovery.

Yun nga lang...

After One Hour..

Haggard na akey.

Panu ba naman, I've been so gaga over the things that I find that I realized that my big blue supot is already at its maximum capacity. Grabe talaga, I looked like a Santa Claus while making singet to the maralitas who passes in front of me.

In the end, I was the one who quitted. Told myself that I don't deserve such haggardness in the first place. If I was this really conyo in the first place like Cofibean is, I should have at least booked a flight going to Hong Kong to find some cheap bargains there.

---

In the end though, I was so happy with my achievements.

Imagine, for 2 kyawsoses (thousand), I bought a Samurai for our Admin Manager at the security agency. I even bought a ceramic tea set for my auntie for 200 bucks. As in, andami ko talagang nabili that I even promised myself to return there next time with XP. Para naman makabili ulit ako ng mga thingies that I will give this Christmas and the most wonderful price possible.

My mama always scolds me for having a massive Christmas List every year. Three years ago, I gave around 40 gifts alone for our staffs from the Publishing and Security Agency. Wala pa dun yung sa mga classmates and relatives and also family members ko ha. This year, I am expecting to give around that same number of gifts to friends alone. Sa Odders pa lang, it would number around 30 na.

Anyways the reason for the seemingly uncomprehendable gift giving attitude is that for a change, I would be the one giving to those who have positively affected my life noh. For all the good and kind things they have done, it's time naman for me to remember them.

Forget about not recieving anything in return. In the first place, you give things without expecting anything back. Besides, I'm sure that God will be the one who will make up for it. So sa akin, keri lang, as long as I know that I made a person happy. Happy na rin akey.

Year by year, I complain about how chaka naman not to feel the Christmas Spirit I've been enjoying when I was still a spoiled brat.

You know what, after walking from Divisoria to Binondo after I got out of the Mall, then riding a crappy jeep from Binondo to Escolta, and then riding again a crappy jeep from Escolta to Sta. Cruz, and then taking a freaking stupid and god-forsaken shor jeepney trip from Sta. Cruz to Avenida only to realize that my only option at all is to take a final jeep ride going home, and not taking a cab from Binondo going home as I initially planned, I found out that the real spirit in Christmas is by giving... and giving... and more giving - to show that you appreciated the people who became part of your life throughout the year no matter how hard or blissful it is. Giving gifts is like thanking them for making your life more meaningful and special by being there in the first place.

I guess I still have the spirit within.

and it only took an afternoon chaka shopping galore at Divisoria Mall to reclaim it once again.

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