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It was a Saturday midnight, like tonight. Wearing my best party gear and the libido of the youth burning inside me, I lock the door of our apartment. Walking towards the unlit streets somewhere in Quezon City, my mind seems to travel elsewhere. The night is still young, I told myself, since I haven't had a popoy in over a week, why night attempt to find one in Malate on cold night like this.
Walking past Visayas and into the great Circle, I stand where the callboys often stand while waiting for their customers. At the horizon, eyes were turning towards me. It seems like they have seen me, felt my urges, understood my calling. Too bad, no matter how tempting they were, I have my own calling. Like them, my adventure is waiting for me, somewhere far beyond.
The full moon rises in the east, the sky was all clear and some of the brightest stars would appear. Despite the bitter wind, I would bravely stand against the freezing temperature, while waiting for a cab, or a jeep or whatever form of transport that would take me to the place I called home.
The full moon rises in the east, the sky was all clear and some of the brightest stars would appear. Despite the bitter wind, I would bravely stand against the freezing temperature, while waiting for a cab, or a jeep or whatever form of transport that would take me to the place I called home.
No matter how long it would take or dangerous the streets maybe, what matters is that I arrived there, even if it takes forever.
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"Oh my god, I never realized how my work out paid off, until now..."
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After paying the 100 peso entrance fee, the darkness begins to surround me. Walking proudly among the gym buffs and the beautiful people, I would make my way up to the second floor. Madonna’s Like A Prayer Remix blared from the speakers while discreet stares are given to those who deserve it.
Then I would stand against the wall, while I carrying a bottle of Red Horse. The ledge dancers performed their sexiest dances on the platform. The small space is beginning to get cramped with men who have different reasons for being there. However, since it was dark and very hot, beneath the veil of distance and apathy towards one another there is a single pulse in everyone that says we offer the night for fun.
Then I would stand against the wall, while I carrying a bottle of Red Horse. The ledge dancers performed their sexiest dances on the platform. The small space is beginning to get cramped with men who have different reasons for being there. However, since it was dark and very hot, beneath the veil of distance and apathy towards one another there is a single pulse in everyone that says we offer the night for fun.
Come what may, what's important is I find my one tonight.
At past two, the party starts to rev up. Amidst the shadows, one would see two human forms dancing; their bodies beginning to merge into some sort of temporal singleness while their hands are all over the place.
This is how trade happens at home. Sooner, I will find my own partner as well.
At a moment, some guy would come close who would check you out while dancing to the music. If the guy finds you hormonally interesting, they would attempt to come close hoping they would get your interest. The same way happens to you: You find a guy cute, you show your moves and in a split second
At a moment, some guy would come close who would check you out while dancing to the music. If the guy finds you hormonally interesting, they would attempt to come close hoping they would get your interest. The same way happens to you: You find a guy cute, you show your moves and in a split second
You found yourself a partner.
Soon, you become too close as you danced with him that your bodies begin to merge as one. Depending on how serious or how interested the guy towards you, the merging you created sometimes turn into a bond... that lasts for months.
Yet in most occassion, such merging wouldn't last an hour. After several songs, passionate kisses and blantant make outs somewhere around the corner. You find your self alone and starting the cycle all over again.
I guess this is the way it is with single people. You sometimes find temporal companionship in a night's dance of ecstasy. As the music gets wild, the more you are tempted to act wilder. The more you move your body in a way that attracts everyone, the higher the chances you end up with someone.
Some nights, the party extends until late morning, when one wakes up in some other's bed. It happens to those who are gifted, but for someone who is as ordinary as me. Moments like those are remembered for eternity. Who would ever forget the wildest hell-on-earth episode, as well as with the infamous bout with mamasang? Who would forget that I found my first lover, out of someone I had... in a motel?
Those were the wild days. And in some bittersweet nights like tonight, I still remember them.
Several years have passed. After having a brief reminder from time to time of an orgasm exploded in some sticky dark-room floor, or some mouths if things get really nasty... After hearing some familiar tune on your mp3s reminding you of some of the songs you once danced. And after seeing two guys merged into one, as they danced the night in some other dance floor.
Several years have passed. After having a brief reminder from time to time of an orgasm exploded in some sticky dark-room floor, or some mouths if things get really nasty... After hearing some familiar tune on your mp3s reminding you of some of the songs you once danced. And after seeing two guys merged into one, as they danced the night in some other dance floor.
You get to realize that things you have mastered before, will eventually come to pass.
And when some close friend tells you how good it is to be free... to be alone among some lonely guys in a dancefloor, in your mind, the thoughts of two male figures dancing in the shadows suddenly tells me that not long before,
It was I who used to be dancing in the shadows.
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