Vigil

I.

Midnight.

Silence echoes through the long lonely corridor that serves as the lounge for people holding vigils for ICU patients. Opposite my bench is a small door that leads to the room where my lola's frail body lies.

Being the family member to hold the vigil for the night, I would have to fend off sadness and boredom alone in that silent corridor. My mom was even concerned that I might sleep and forget my duties, while my lola falls in the brink of "passing over". But since everybody was quite confident (and relieved) that someone from the "kids generation" volunteered to watch over her, they turned over the responsibility to me as they slept and rested in their respective homes.

II.

My first order for the night was to actually scout for cuties who were also staying overnight. Aside from being constantly reminded of the erotic stories I've read or heard involving medical staffs in hospitals, I also need to at least talk to someone in order to avoid getting sleepy. Staying overnight, alone and restless in a place one would least wanted to be should at least make an effort to divert ones thoughts from being negative to neutral, if not irrelevant.

Speaking of cuties, there was this one semikal guy from the bench not far from mine. He is around 5 ft. 7, moreno, lean and had small cute eyes. He was also staying overnight to look after her mom who had been to surgery after suffering from Cerebral Aneurysm.

After having a chit chat with her husband. I found out that it happened while they were having aerobics session in CCP that same morning when my lola suddenly slumped on her bed. In fact, she was just a couple of beds away from where my Lola lied when she was rushed in the ER.

III.

The interesting guy was 26 years old. He is currently unemployed but his father said that he helps run the family business. Actually, he was not that attractive. Maybe, the reason why he caught my attention is because we are the youngest people in that room last night.

A couple of times, I tried to approach him. But being proud and embarassed at the same time, I just decided to ignore him. This morning, when I woke up, I caught him staring at me. Then when he passed in front of me, he showed some nice gestures recognizing my presence.

Perhaps it would be the last time I would see him and his beautiful relatives for we found out that his mother would be prematurely disharged from the ICU.

Her chances of surviving has already fallen beyond hopeful levels...

IV.

The temperature was extremely chilling that it made some of the guests beside me complain about the bitter cold air. My mom and my sister kept me company until close to midnight.

Before they left, the attending physician informed them that despite aggressive efforts to save our lola, the blood had spread in all directions of her brain, which rarely happens in terms of medical cases.

It was said that despite utmost care and medication, she will only have less than 2 days to live.

Two days to wait before my last uncle arrives from the states.

V.

Looking back, it wasn't really as painful as everyone would imagine. At 84, she had succesfully become the matriarch of the entire clan. She had lived long enough to see most of her children, nieces, nephews and even grandchildren have families and become successful in their respective careers.

She had a life well lived, and despite her complete blindness and advance stages of Alzheimer's disease, she remained strong and healthy for an old woman thanks the the vitamins and food supplements given to her by her children.

Her imminent passing was not really a surprise for us. The signs, warnings and dreams were already present. All that matters is the time of her passing.

A day before she was rushed in the ER, Lola told her bestfriend-neighbor that she would have to pack her things as soon as possible because she was finally leaving, whether my aunt approves it or not. Her friend, who was an elderly woman like her thought that it was one of her typical rhetorics about leaving my aunts house and moving back to her old home in Sta. Mesa.

But what's really scary was that after figuring out all her claims of leaving, of moving out of her aunt's house, and her desires of going back to her old home; one would see a gradual build up of her desire to leave. That this passing was already in place for a very long time.

We are still waiting for two more relatives to arrive from the United States. The first one would arrive tomorrow at 4 am, the final one might arrive the same day, only 16 hours later.

After that... maybe, it's time to finally say

Goodbye.