I was about to go home yesterday afternoon when a colleague invited me to a drinking session organized by another colleague in his place in Marikina. This is the first time I have been invited by the group. Before, we would just nod at each other or engage in a very informal small chat whenever we see each other in the office.
To them, I am just the quiet guy seated at the back row. For me, they're just a new bunch of operators who recently found their way into the company.
My colleague's place reminded me of the homes I've been to whenever someone from college invited me for a drinking session. You see, aside from Mami Athena's home, I haven't really involved myself in a drinking session in somebody else's place.
I have been used to drinking beer in a bar that when I arrived at my colleague's place yesterday, I felt a slight tinge of unfamiliarity while trying my best to get accustomed to the scene as fast as possible.
Nine of us went there. There were three ladies and the rest of us were men. As far as I know, I am the only one who is homosexual. The rest of them sees my kind in a stereotype light. So, to the best of my judgement, I thought it would be better to act straight. There's no need to out myself or inform them of my preference since it would not matter anyway. Besides, I'm not really sure if they know me that much or if they sense my difference.
Those who were with me in the session were seasoned drinkers. Even before we began our first tagay, they were already sharing their stories about past drinking sessions in which they experimented with different kinds of chasers and mixes. They even told us what their lives were before they were hired by the company I'm working with.
From the stories they told me about their lives, I began to have this impression that they are the typical subdivision boys who hangs out in the homes of their tropa who were just blocks away from their respective homes. Together, they would drink from sundown to sunrise during their bummer days. On much plentiful periods, they would drive around town in their own lowered vehicles, playing hip-hop songs blaring on their car stereos and acting as if they are the ultimate embodiment of coolness.
I guess it used to be their lives... and it used to be the life I wanted to have. So when I joined them yesterday I know I'd be eaten alive.
And eaten alive I did.
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It was agreed upon that we would be drinking heavy yesterday. They were even discussing whether it would be better to buy hard alcohol or just plain beer. In the end, they bought a case of Red Horse and San Mig Strong Ice.
The session began at around 4 PM since the shortage of ice in the area delayed our tagay. The pulutan consists of Tortillos, a pack of cookies and several bars of chocolate.
While the tall plastic cup was making rounds, we talked about a lot of stuffs, which unfortunately I cannot say here. Nevertheless it was about their lives, their feelings about the company, their worries about some things the management never clarified to us and of course, about our supervisors.
Later on, we have talked about our other colleagues and our crushes in the office.
When they asked me who my crush is, I could have wish I freeze at that very instant.
---
Shortly before sunset, people were already noticing that I kept on smiling for no reason at all. It only means one thing. I am already drunk.
Good thing about me being drunk is that I am always in good vibes. Never did I hurt someone or messed up a session under the influence of alcohol. In fact, I tend to act more nicely in such circumstances.
And yet, I have to accept the fact that I would always be a weak drinker. And it always shows in the way I act when I get drunk.
At around 7 pm, I was already throwing up. As a tradition, I always pick a spot where to make "uwak" and I tend to return to that same spot until I cease throwing up. While walking towards the bathroom, I can really feel that my head is swirling and my eyes kept on closing. I was on the verge of loosing my balance when a lady colleague offered her bar of chocolate. She said it would provide me with a sugar boost that my intoxicated body needed at that very moment.
Indeed it worked for after throwing up and still eating chocolates at the same time, I regained control of myself. By 8 pm, I was almost sober - except for the lingering effects of a hang-over that is starting to pound my head.
---
The drinking session was fun. It allowed we to reach out to people, which a week ago were just mere operators to me. You see, I don't really have a good interpersonal skills. Although I can relate to a person on a face to face basis, but in crowds - whether it be straight or non-straight, I tend to isolate myself.
If there is anything I have learned from this renewed experience, I guess that I would never be close to people who I can't trust with my preference. I'm pretty good in straight acting; in fact I have this suspicion that I have this tendency to be confused with my own preference when surrounded by heterosexuals but as long as my sexuality remains under cloak, as long as I can sense that the people who I am with is not comfortable with people with the same preference like me,
Then I would always keep a distance between me and them.
I'm not really sure whether I would be invited again, or whether I would join another round the next time they called for one. You see, drinking alcohol is very costly for someone who is serious about trimming down. In fact, when thinking about the volumes of beer I have consumed last night, I guess my gym efforts for the last three weeks simply tumbled into oblivion.
By now, I'm sure that my drunkeness had made headlines in the floor. I can even guess what Dexter and Jimbo's reaction would be if they found out that the guy who invited me was actually our megabet. And I wonder what those people's reaction would be if they found out that after telling them who my "girl crush" is in the office, I would turn out to be a fake.
I think I don't want to know. For sure, after passing as as a typical masculine heterosexual last night, I would act straighter from now on in the office.
On the loose, I’m a truck
All the rolling hills, I’ll flatten’ em out, yeah
It’s herd behavior, uh huh
It’s evolution, baby
- Do The Evolution, Pearl Jam
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