Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Heart Of Emptiness





"I'm too old and weary to be out in the streets at night," I tweeted an hour before my work ends at 10'o clock.

At the back of my head, I was worried that I'd be mugged when I step foot in Cubao or get robbed inside a Malaguena jeep. A co-worker's grandmum passed away and knowing that only few at work would ever find time to attend the wake, I decided to go solo after my shift.

The trip was uneventful. Instead of passing through Cubao, I took the much longer Pasig route with a colleague who is about to give birth next month. After parting ways with her in Rosario, I hailed a jeep going to Marikina. Another short ride from the city square and I arrived at the gates of Loyola at half past Eleven.  

What I knew was that the chapel is located outside the memorial. It turned the other way around, the chapel was at the bosom of the cemetery. To get there, one must cross the eerie expanse while suppressing his instincts to flee. Sure it was dark and brooding, but of all the things I wouldn't like to happen is that my mind plays tricks on me.

After all, no one in his right mind would go on a stroll inside a campo santo at night.

I could have left in an instant. But I have journeyed this far and a retreat is not an option. Mustering all my strength, I plugged my ear buds and played trance music on my Ipod. I didn't let my eyes wander as I tread  the main road and instead, locked my gaze at the floodlights waiting at the end.  

"But I'm scared of the dark?"  A voice inside me mumbled.

"Who isn't. But this is who we are. We stick to our guns even when there's a choice to flee." Another voice replied.

"But you're a chicken shit. Who cares if you don't attend the wake. As if the colleague would get offended by your no-show.  He didn't even know you'll come."

"We're already here, we chose to be here - at this hour because - the mind said so."

"And if our colleague is not there."

"Then we will wait. Our presence, even if unseen, justifies all this walking."

"We're near."

"Wait, let me get my camera. If something shows up in the picture, then let's keep it as a remembrance."

"For what,"

"So we would always remember where our balls are."



Loyola Memorial Park
11:30 pm


And I was able to walk the entire length of the cemetery without flinching or screaming in a falsetto voice and in doing so, learned that I am still a happy camper even when alone. 



14 comments:

bien said...

Listen to me, Do not go into the light lolz.

Shet di ko kaya yan, nevermind the balls and the lack of

blagadag said...

this made me laugh. ikaw na ang rumampa sa sementeryo. at di mo na talaga naalalang mag kwento kung sino ang naabutan mo sa lamay. whew. laugh trip.

ZaiZai said...

wow super brave mugen! i love the conversation going on in your head - buti walang biglang ibang voice na sumingit. un ang nakakatakot! mapapa falsetto ka talaga :)

Pepe said...

speaking of conversations in the head. relate na relate sa latest post ko. hahahaha

pero bakit of all things written here, yong malaguena jeep talaga ang tumatak? buti hindi sarao. lol

Nate said...

@kuya joms: you na! you already! but, what if an image appeared on the photo? waaah! :|

jetlander said...

Ang husay ng pagkakasulat.

Di ko kaya ang maglakad ng mag-isa, kahit nga pagnuod ng sine ng mag isa di ko kaya, maglakad pa kaya sa sementeryo...

Sean said...

lol @ bien. naunahan ako hahaha! i personally find loyola peaceful. but maybe because it's where my loved ones are.

RainDarwin said...

masarap dyang maglakad nang may ka-holding hands.

... at may naiisip akong something kinky sa picture pero never mind ahehe.

Wilberchie said...

wow! *in a very pamhin voice* kaw na pre! whahahaha!!! atapang atao!

Seth said...

i live in cubao for almost 4 years and i've never been mugged or pickpocketed

i even go out late at night for snacks and drinks

you just have to carry yourself well. show that they can't touch you at all

Mr. Brightside said...

Call me weird or whatever but I am not afraid of cemeteries, in fact I always thought of it as a peaceful and calm place. I even asked my partner if we can have a picnic/date in a cemetery.. haha

Neokiro said...

Noble reason, and you proved you got the balls to boot.

Last time I traipsied into a cemetery, I was drunk with my beau and friends looking for something that shouldn't be there.

daniel the jagged little egg said...

Hehe galing ako dun nung isang araw. Hang layo nga sa Gate naligaw pa ako hehe. Buti nalang tanghali : )

Hi sis! : )

Leo said...

i remember my mom telling me that if i have someone to curse, go to the cemetery before 12 midnight, and in the middle where you find the big cross, say your wish/curse. In 2 days, it will come true. BTW, mom is from Samar.

Ang tapang mo ah!