But you deserve that kind of love too. The one that would wake you up every morning, bring you food when you're hungry, fetch you at work, accompany you in your errands, takes care of you whenever, wherever.
Unreplied Letter, September 22, 2012
|(L-R Top-Bottom: J-Bear and Mugenbear, Kelly Heights Antipolo, Taal Vista Hotel, Tagaytay)|
The countdown ends, three hundred and sixty five days later. When you know the relationship has been put to rest, and what lingers are the memories you have not spoken in ages. For some, a year can be measured in a lifetime. For others, it is just a passing day - with the past - overwritten with what the present is shaping. Unremembered, some unions never leave the realms of limbo, because there are words ex-lovers forgot to say. Perhaps, some thoughts on forgiveness and acceptance, or gratitude for a journey in a life seldom shared.
The ending has been told to friends, and to others who have witnessed how love found its way into these dreary pages. It was unexpected. Beautiful. A pleasant surprise, for a war-weary soul that I was. I will not speak of how the love withered, for it only defies what history has already judged. What is there to tell is how the union brought lovers to new heights; how the experience allowed me to nip perfection. For JC has left footprints, many of those are still visible today.
The Digital Revolution
As I write this blog entry, I am using Torrent to download a movie. Trivial as it sounds, but it was JC who introduced Isohunt to me. Without his influence, I would still remain stuck stacking pirated DVDs bought from Quiapo. Nothing will ever change, as I find joy getting lost at Hidalgo.
But it is not the gift of Torrent that JC will be remembered. For the fast internet connection would never reach home without the courage he had given first. It was a time when the old desktop computer was on the verge of breaking down. I had no plans of replacing it, as I am used to playing video games with hardware-replaceable machines.
Laptops were becoming the trend, and as a writer, it would be more convenient to write drafts wherever I want. To buy a portable device would be practical as the old desktop no longer can take any more upgrades. However, there are bad memories to face, as my first laptop went to someone else. It was a very difficult period, because I had to bleed cash for more than a year just to pay the machine in full.
The laptop was never returned - even after the break-up.
So imagine how symbolic it was when JC volunteered to accompany me to buy my second laptop. He knew what brands to select and the best place to find them. Between the haggling and comparison of specs - to moving from one store to the next, it felt like a past has been corrected. To see a boyfriend actually telling me things I barely know was a breath of fresh air.
He was truly a partner.
And thus began the snowball effect. With the acquisition of the laptop, the dial-up connection was upgraded to broadband. Within a few months, fiber-optic cables gave way to WiFi as my sister got her hand-me-down Netbook. For the first time, Internet was shared at home.
A year would pass after the break-up and the laptop JC and I bought at Gilmore is still working. Approaching it's third year, it is bound to be replaced as its components are already showing the effects of obsolescence. Meanwhile, two other portable machines (one owned by the babysitter), a tablet and three smartphones use the WiFi. Never in our family's history would we be so wired, and in-touch with the rest of the planet.