If he didn't text back and told you how you were missed, it would most certain your world will never turn upside down.
But he did, and in the two days of silence, wind whispers tell of how much he knifed your life.
And so you were left dreaming, with your umbilical cord attached to his stomach. Nobody could ever interrupt your sleep - not even your inner circle of acquaintances who constantly checked how you were doing. You answered in broken sentences, but your mark on twitter revealed how such one person could leave you heartbroken and wishful at the same time. It was more of a struggle to claim your ground, while you inject some sense as to what you were doing. Unlike him, who could sway you with digital affections, you want to express your emotions in an analog fashion.
---
Tuesday afternoon, you journeyed all the way from Legarda to Ayala just to pick him up. He was a stranger by the way, and not your lover. You said it would be a surprise and you did it to prove that you can make time for him, like what you said in the text message. The cloudy skies and damp ground did not hinder your attempt. Though you never found him at his office's reception area, your paths crossed at Zara boutique in Glorietta, a few blocks away from where he works.
We know that his world is far, far different from yours. He belongs to the realm of the fairies, (but he doesn't pass as one) while you, stick your ground as one of the ogres. I remember, when you picked him up that Tuesday afternoon, he was wearing a very tight navy blue polo shirt with red eagle embroidery stitched on the fabric. His jeans were of the skinny variety. Looking at both of you, there was no doubt you appeared more like his bodyguard. Wearing a worn-out baggy pants from your college days and a plain brown T-shirt doesn't pass as a fashion statement.
In your normal state of mind, such get-up would have been a reason to pull back. You prided your rugged appearance for it was easier to conceal your sexuality from those who would look at you with hostile intentions. But such was a different time that Tuesday. Dazed at how far your first contact had come a long way, you overlooked his appearance believing that your intimate connection was stronger than what others would think about you as pairs.
You slept, next to him, he was naked, while his best friend looked at you with almost jealous eyes. Something told you that their connection was deep (the best friend would endearingly call him baby and they would snuggle and cuddle while you wearily stared at them from a distance) but you brushed such thoughts by recalling how Omeng and Pao, your friends from Odders had that sort of bond as well. There was no denial that it bothered you. It revealed your possessive nature and how territorial you were over your holdings. But the best friend, is the best friend. What mattered to him, probably mattered to your guy as well.
In his arms you felt safe. Funny how one lean guy could make a buffed guy like you feel secured. Should it be the other way around? When his best friend left for work, you snuggled, curled your legs over his and pressed your head against his shoulder for reasons only heart could tell. You planted kisses, as he pushed you away while he snored loud enough to disturb the tranquility of the room. Had it been in your place, the utol would have complained the next morning of the noise.
But would he accept your invitation to a sleep over? I doubt if such image would ever be painted.
---
Deep inside, you know that it could become a one-way affair. Your attachment is much stronger than his, and you rave everytime he would reaffirm your affections. You let him defy your standards, compromise most of your beliefs and let your body deteriorate just to follow him around for what? A chance to have a monogamous relationship with someone who may not lift a finger on your behalf?
In six months, you have been romantically involved with six men. These affairs may not have prospered but you learned from each one of them. Looking at the trends, when the other gives more, you tend to take them for granted. But if it is you who pushes harder, you tend to be ignored. It is a constant cycle, which I think, you have to break free.
It doesn't mean that when you openly tell him of your attachments, also gives him the right to bully you. It must not work that way, your nurturing values doesn't grant you to shove people around like some did to you.
You are here to seek an equal.
So I will place myself at your disposal. Like a shadow dancing behind your back, I will shroud his presence for you to see his darker elements. My intervention will attempt to pull you back from this attachment, which is precariously reanimating the life you once had. If he wishes to win you over, it is time for him to work hard to recapture the things he had already lost.
I don't look forward to responding to his sweet nothings. I will make you numb enough to suppress your inner longings until such time you won't need his presence. Romance will always have its bliss, but for you who will emerge from something that is bound to become a nightmare,
Absolute detachment remains the blueprint for a well-ordered life.
---
The orbiter is done analyzing the habitability of the planet it stumbled. An oceanic surface regularly lashed by planet-wide super-storms will prevent any colony from ever thriving. Underwater cities maybe a fancy idea to compensate for such seemingly hostile environment, but with a homeworld undergoing a global recession, it is best to send the satellite back to outer space.
Sending the commands to turn the orbiter away from the planet. It swings its solar panels starward to capture as much starlight as it could and convert it to energy. From its protruding antenna comes the order to distort the space around it for a wormhole to open. Firing its ion thrusters, the satellite slowly moves toward the black hole it just created.
The galaxy remains open for exploration. The orbiter will never cease jumping from star system to star system until it finds a planet it will call its new home.
But he did, and in the two days of silence, wind whispers tell of how much he knifed your life.
And so you were left dreaming, with your umbilical cord attached to his stomach. Nobody could ever interrupt your sleep - not even your inner circle of acquaintances who constantly checked how you were doing. You answered in broken sentences, but your mark on twitter revealed how such one person could leave you heartbroken and wishful at the same time. It was more of a struggle to claim your ground, while you inject some sense as to what you were doing. Unlike him, who could sway you with digital affections, you want to express your emotions in an analog fashion.
---
Tuesday afternoon, you journeyed all the way from Legarda to Ayala just to pick him up. He was a stranger by the way, and not your lover. You said it would be a surprise and you did it to prove that you can make time for him, like what you said in the text message. The cloudy skies and damp ground did not hinder your attempt. Though you never found him at his office's reception area, your paths crossed at Zara boutique in Glorietta, a few blocks away from where he works.
We know that his world is far, far different from yours. He belongs to the realm of the fairies, (but he doesn't pass as one) while you, stick your ground as one of the ogres. I remember, when you picked him up that Tuesday afternoon, he was wearing a very tight navy blue polo shirt with red eagle embroidery stitched on the fabric. His jeans were of the skinny variety. Looking at both of you, there was no doubt you appeared more like his bodyguard. Wearing a worn-out baggy pants from your college days and a plain brown T-shirt doesn't pass as a fashion statement.
In your normal state of mind, such get-up would have been a reason to pull back. You prided your rugged appearance for it was easier to conceal your sexuality from those who would look at you with hostile intentions. But such was a different time that Tuesday. Dazed at how far your first contact had come a long way, you overlooked his appearance believing that your intimate connection was stronger than what others would think about you as pairs.
You slept, next to him, he was naked, while his best friend looked at you with almost jealous eyes. Something told you that their connection was deep (the best friend would endearingly call him baby and they would snuggle and cuddle while you wearily stared at them from a distance) but you brushed such thoughts by recalling how Omeng and Pao, your friends from Odders had that sort of bond as well. There was no denial that it bothered you. It revealed your possessive nature and how territorial you were over your holdings. But the best friend, is the best friend. What mattered to him, probably mattered to your guy as well.
In his arms you felt safe. Funny how one lean guy could make a buffed guy like you feel secured. Should it be the other way around? When his best friend left for work, you snuggled, curled your legs over his and pressed your head against his shoulder for reasons only heart could tell. You planted kisses, as he pushed you away while he snored loud enough to disturb the tranquility of the room. Had it been in your place, the utol would have complained the next morning of the noise.
But would he accept your invitation to a sleep over? I doubt if such image would ever be painted.
---
Deep inside, you know that it could become a one-way affair. Your attachment is much stronger than his, and you rave everytime he would reaffirm your affections. You let him defy your standards, compromise most of your beliefs and let your body deteriorate just to follow him around for what? A chance to have a monogamous relationship with someone who may not lift a finger on your behalf?
In six months, you have been romantically involved with six men. These affairs may not have prospered but you learned from each one of them. Looking at the trends, when the other gives more, you tend to take them for granted. But if it is you who pushes harder, you tend to be ignored. It is a constant cycle, which I think, you have to break free.
It doesn't mean that when you openly tell him of your attachments, also gives him the right to bully you. It must not work that way, your nurturing values doesn't grant you to shove people around like some did to you.
You are here to seek an equal.
So I will place myself at your disposal. Like a shadow dancing behind your back, I will shroud his presence for you to see his darker elements. My intervention will attempt to pull you back from this attachment, which is precariously reanimating the life you once had. If he wishes to win you over, it is time for him to work hard to recapture the things he had already lost.
I don't look forward to responding to his sweet nothings. I will make you numb enough to suppress your inner longings until such time you won't need his presence. Romance will always have its bliss, but for you who will emerge from something that is bound to become a nightmare,
Absolute detachment remains the blueprint for a well-ordered life.
---
The orbiter is done analyzing the habitability of the planet it stumbled. An oceanic surface regularly lashed by planet-wide super-storms will prevent any colony from ever thriving. Underwater cities maybe a fancy idea to compensate for such seemingly hostile environment, but with a homeworld undergoing a global recession, it is best to send the satellite back to outer space.
Sending the commands to turn the orbiter away from the planet. It swings its solar panels starward to capture as much starlight as it could and convert it to energy. From its protruding antenna comes the order to distort the space around it for a wormhole to open. Firing its ion thrusters, the satellite slowly moves toward the black hole it just created.
The galaxy remains open for exploration. The orbiter will never cease jumping from star system to star system until it finds a planet it will call its new home.
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