Saturday, July 2, 2011

Human, All Too Human

Kane is a friend and confidant. We met at a blogger's party many years ago. At first, I chose to stay distant because impressions tell that I might get snubbed. It was until he plugged his music player and learned that we have the same fondness for house music that we began talking.

Ties took time to grow, and often, what reached me at first were his dating exploits. But soon, as he get to know more bloggers, while I got invited to house parties hosted by common acquaintances, (where we actually get to bump with each other) I did eventually warm up that soon, I was already selling him my juiciest secrets.

Memories about the parties we graced (and sometimes got ourselves wasted) is something I will always treasure.  More than the deep admiration I have for his writing, it is his openness and down-to-earth character  that makes him so endearing. Since tomorrow (July 3) is his special day, it would be fitting to write something in honor of our Spit Roast author.

My dear Kane, let these three things I've learned from you be my birthday present.

Telling the truth no matter how ugly the reasons are.

Someone left a comment wishing me dead. It was after he read a blog entry of someone I ditched  (in the most cruel manner) where he painted me as the bad guy he can't reach. An earlier written confession had already annoyed me. But it was the deliberate and deceptive "missed text" he sent that made things ugly. The sweeping judgement was uncalled for. Not only was I betrayed once, I was stabbed by those who actually don't know the full story.

To get back at him and his sympathizers, a retaliatory post with a link to the  blog entry was my response.  Words were crafted in a way it would appear as a defense and not an expression of rage. A few days later, Kane and I had a phone conversation about the backbiting and asked why I exposed the ex-admirer by leaving a link to his blogpost.

Without sugarcoating my words I told him the truth.

"Kinamumuhian ko siya."

Coming from someone who carefully picks his words, what I said was downright mean. Kane never asked follow up questions and thanked me for my honesty. Since then, he is one of the few people who I could actually tell everything without  fear of being judged for my actions.  

Perfume and men.

I have always seen my ruggedness as my strength. For this reason, grooming was never a priority, except, when I had to hard-sell myself.  Since I was never into neat-looking guys to begin with, (besides, in places where I used to haunt i.e dance floor, you would almost always end up grungy because of smoke, sweat and alcohol) appearing very manly was enough.

It  was Kane who suggested that I smother myself with perfume just before I party.  "Ayaw mo nun, pagdating mo sa O-Bar lahat ng tao mukhang wasted na pero ikaw eh fresh and clean pa rin?"  I kept his idea for future reference.

Two weeks later at a house party, a long-time blog reader was introduced to me by friends. The punk looked attractive and we instantly clicked. In one of our not-so-intimate conversations, the guy whispered. "Ang bango mo naman."  His compliment had put a smile on my face. Kane's suggestion worked. Mutual attraction led us to stick with each other for the rest of the night.

It turns out the guy was recently taken. I decided not to cross lines in respect to his absent partner.

The makeover of the not-so-fashionable me.

Speaking of ruggedness, I used to think that wearing a fitted black shirt, tight jeans and showing up with a  pumped-up body are enough reasons to get someone's attention. I have no problems loosening up under the influence of alcohol and when it comes to conversations, I know exactly whom to speak

It was in a party exactly a year ago that I decided to raise the bar and square off with the high society.  I knew I would be rubbing elbows with some of the most beautiful men in the city and the people at the ball would surely scan me from head to toe.

So off I went to the Shangri-La Mall to buy a new and expensive shirt. The one I had in mind were not the ones my mom used to buy.  It took me three baths, a dozen sprays of perfume, a drink with the Encantos (for morale boost) and a cab ride all the way from Timog to Harrison Plaza before I could debut with my new look.

The party was euphoric. Saw some teary-eyed guests while reminiscing their best times with the host. I stayed until daybreak to mingle with the crowd. It was crazy. Drinks were overflowing. And while the host locked himself in a room with a date, his inner circle of friends were there to entertain his guests. Though I never scored not even a single kiss at the party, the makeover was a success.

I went home in one piece after refusing to sleep in other people's bed.


Guyrony said...

Ah yes, how time really flies J.


Mugen said...


We watched each other's back, until I decided to go home while you stayed behind. Lolz.

How time flies. Kuya Pawpaw. =)

July 2, 2011 8:25 PM

Spiral Prince said...

Sweet post, kuya joms. And I agree with your points about Kane. :)

Mugen said...

Spiral Prince:

Meeting him in person is already an experience. Hahaha.

Sean said...

nakakatuwa pag nakakabasa ako ng mga magkakakilala di lamang sa blogosphere but in real life.

Ryan said...

@ Sean: The blogosphere is a great avenue to meet new people. :)

Mugen said...


Kaw ba, when will you show yourself to us? Hehehe.


So long as there's no landian involved, I agree. :)

bienvenido_lim said...

Cheers to you and Kane. I remember that unfortunate episode. Infact when he blogged that he was in quandary whether to confess or not his feelings towards his "object of affection" I was one of those who egged him to do it. Naloka na lang ako when i read your retaliatory post, na ikaw pala yun.I thought at the time, that what you did was harsh. I agree the missed text was definitely uncalled for but when you included the link, on top of the rejection he was exposed and his profession (he's a teacher?) was compromised. My apologies for focusing on that nega episode, i guess what i am really trying to say is that you like Kane are one of the few pinoy pink bloggers who can wield a certain influence among your readers. Maybe it's your popularity, maybe it's the excellent writing skills or just plain integrity. Because let's face it, the other blogger doesn't post entries as often as he used to.Sorry, umepal.

the.island.guy said...

Usually my attention span fails on me when I'm reading a long blog, but I read your entire blog and refused to be distracted. It was a wonderful read : )

Mugen said...


No worries. I'm friends with the person and I have totally forgotten the incident. I just had to remind myself again how our good friend is able to dig my deepest and darkest thought without me worrying that I'd be judged less by him.

Island Guy:

Hey buddy, thank you very much! I was actually musing if I'd put 5 instead of three. But the entry would be too long already so I decided to make it 3.

Happy weekend!

Nate said...

@mugen: very nice post, Sir! i especially loved #2 and #3.. :D

Kane said...

Mugen, as I said, I didn't expect you would even remember those things. I am genuinely surprised... and touched. =)

You are really good to me and I treasure you, my friend.