Sunday, July 31, 2011

The Countdown Begins

In fourteen days, the partner leaves for Canada. He will stay there for three months to attend the job training required at work. "Three months is just a blink of an eye," he always tells me. "I'd be back, long before you start counting."

I remember a time when I used to discourage him from switching jobs. It was a subtle move for I was unsure  how things would shape up.  The agreement between him and his new employer still had a lot of ironing to do, and besides, we were not certain how the transition from office to home-based work would affect his performance. But more than anything else, it was his possible deployment overseas that worried me.  

Long distance relationship was out of my vocabulary.

I was able to overcome these hesitations, eventually, and began to see how the partner enjoys his present company. Not only is he able to sneak out without the knowledge of his bosses, he can do his tasks at his own pace. For this reason, I began to see the rewards of his career move. Even when the day he met the travel agent came, I was convinced of his direction.

Until he told me that his schedule of departure was finally announced.

I was on my way home after watching Harry Potter with the partner when he sent me the text message. The news was like a brush of cold air on my face and a jab on my chest. It took me some time before I was able to absorb the turn of events.

But leaving the country for training will happen eventually and I should be there to support him. No matter how I boldly pronounced in the past that I won't settle for anything remote, distant, or even overseas arrangement, the attachment is already there. Love proves much stronger especially when you're already nine months together.       

The partner has already entrusted my care to the group, while my plans to change my sleeping pattern to reflect his is already under way. Despite his continuous prodding that I should go out even when he's not around, I haven't made up my mind yet. It's not easy to set sail on your own when you have depended on someone's rudder all the time.

As I end this month's final blog entry, I begin to see myself not as a satellite orbiting a world anymore. Not with that mindset. Instead,  I see us as two worlds drawn together by our own gravity. But now that my binary planet has to make his own journey around our sun, I will have to stay in alignment. There's no letting go, no planetship to chase the beloved. Because once we have completed our individual journeys, we would find ourselves back in our sweet spot.

image from the movie, another earth

For now, it is our sun's gravity that would pull us close. Memories intact, the star ensures our cosmic union stays unbroken.