Treuga Dei (Truce Of God)

I am standing close to the edge of a rocky cliff. From a distance, the full view of a setting sun radiates on my weary face. Above me is the sky whose colors has turned from orange-blue to deep purple-indigo. The clouds were all gone and the stars, whose tiny lights are beginning to shine calms my fiery heart.

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The brief incursions my shock troops did somewhere across the borders of my sanity, did not push through. It was a close call, but at the end, reason prevailed. I realized that despite the doubts and unopposed hatred clouding my thoughts, such actions would only lead to unforseen complications which I really don't like to happen. After all, I don't have any clear evidence that he is playing around. All I have are speculations and possible white lies from him. And although he often tells me about the guys who often hang-outs (and flirts) with him, I think I have his assurance that he remains loyal and committed to our long enduring relationship.

Last night, it was his turn to seek a place to stay. Since my home remains an open house to those people close to me, his request was immediately granted. The whole night, we renewed our bonds - which was shattered since last saturday. I woke up snuggling on his chest while his arms were wrapped around me. Such moments like those remind me how good it is to have a lover.

Surprisingly, I guess that after all these years of exploring, I am finally beginning to enter an age where stability and foundation rises to prominence. I know some guys who are just starting to find a big wild world out there. But coming from such uncertain place so long ago, I think that a big part of me is already tired of living such uncertain life. I am in peace now and I may not be able to turn my back anymore from the little order and familiarity I am getting from having a consistent emotional interest these past several years.

It's enough that I have demonstrated the capabilities of my standing army, without even striking a direct target. Whether I may use such defense mechanism someday is still subject to debate. What matters is that everything is normal once again. Finally, after the passing of a storm outside and inside my heart,

I can have my peaceful life back.

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Beyond is the endless calm sea shimmering in its splendor... and like a beacon of hope, the rays of the setting sun reminds me that after the heavy burdens of today, there is a promising sunrise of tomorrow, hidden behind the imposing mountain range at my back.