In the quiet emptiness of my room, I close my eyes only to hear their wild screams getting louder and louder inside my head. Suddenly, everything goes black, and when I open my eyes , I see myself inside a cramped cabin, alone, and with my heart pounding for an unfamiliar nightmare has descended shortly after my arrival.
---
I feel that I am in the heart of a large vessel that keeps tossing and turning every time the waves pound the starboard side of the ship. Dizziness sets in, and it's like I will have to throw up at any moment. To keep myself from becoming nauseated, I look outside the small rounded window only to find the darkness swallowing me. Even the fiery red sky above seems like a huge creature whose lashing rain and howling wind add more fear to my already sinking heart. After having a brief introduction with the Furies, I close the glass window to keep the white sprays of seawater from getting inside the cabin.
The ship begins to tilt, so I jump out of the bunker bed and switch the door knob to escape. It was jammed. The walls around me expand and contract, and the twisting metal produces a screeching sound that sends terror running up and down my spine. I hear loud thuds outside the cabin. Somebody shouted "maghanap na kayo ng mga life vest niyo lulubog na ang barko!" and it was followed by waves upon waves of screaming passengers that are being squeezed in the narrow corridor on the other side of my door. I lean my head against the wall and I can hear voices of children sobbing. Some are calling their mothers, who got separated from them when the stampede began. I also hear people begging the heavens to spare them the most tragic death, while others are already imploring the Virgin for a safe passage in the afterlife. In this ship run by greed, there is no escape. We will soon go down into our watery grave with a humble wish that the sea returns our bloated bodies to our dearly beloved.
The ship tilts more violently and I find myself pressed against the door. I hear a lady shouting "pesteng yawa kayo, huwag niyong tapakan ang nanay ko!" I do not know if her calls are heeded. In this state of utter helplessness, imagination plays a big role in seeing the drama going outside my cabin: People shoving and pushing one another for available space. Infants being crushed between two heaving bodies, and men fiercely fighting for any available life vest that their sweaty hands could reach. But there is no assurance that my mind doesn't play tricks on me. However, if there is one thing I am sure of, it is the feeling that no one in the corridor really gets to find the exit. They are all stuck there - and slowly - getting suffocated by the onslaught of more passengers trying to escape. The situation becomes too unbearable that some passes out without the person next to them ever noticing their slow but certain expiration.
Suddenly, the ship tilts on its other side and the door to my cabin swings open. Those unlucky ones directly outside tumbles into my room. The first slams her head against the glass window and now lay unconscious on the floor. Several others followed. The last one to fall grabs my shirt and drags me along with him. We roll down until we hit the unconscious woman who fell first. Using my remaining strength, I crawled my way up then squeezes myself among the passengers in the corridor. But Alas! I kept on being pushed back.
"Tangina mo nakikisiksik ka pa wala na ngang lugar dito," a guy said, while pulling back a passenger in front of him.
But like him, I am just trying to survive. Much as he will hate me for pushing myself in, the truth is there is really no way out.
Especially now that another big wave pounds the ship
and another,
and another,
Until the ship capsizes and begins to sink.
Now we are all pressed against one side of the ship. Another wave of panic ensues and those who are weak to move are trampled by passengers who are desperately trying to find the exit. Those who find it insist on staying inside the vessel. They say that instant death awaits those who will dare to dive into the murky waters which is already finding its way inside the ship.
Next to me is a young guy about my age. He looks at me with his weary eyes and then smiled before composing a text message on his mobile phone.
He was not able to send it.
Suddenly the lights went out as the Captain finally sounds the complete evacuation of the ship. Pandemonium now falls on everyone. Someone screams that water has already swallowed several decks below. Children are now crying loudly while the adults babble incoherent words while their eyes - their stunned eyes fixes at the nearest object - human or otherwise before it too freezes, like their cold, empty bodies.
I close my eyes for one last time to shun the voices I hear around me.
While bodies on top of me makes it harder and harder to breathe.
Despite my imminent passing, I try my best not to think that this is the end.
But the truth is, it is the end for them...
---
I open my eyes again and find myself back in front of the computer screen. I pause for a second to gather my thoughts - my deep, troubled feelings as the screams of people inside my head are now being subdued by my inner peace.
In the jet black darkness of my room, I took out a single matchstick inside the matchbox to light a candle I placed earlier near the keyboard.
In remembering all the victims of the sea tragedy.
I began praying in hopes that their souls find peace in the depths of the abyss.
---
I feel that I am in the heart of a large vessel that keeps tossing and turning every time the waves pound the starboard side of the ship. Dizziness sets in, and it's like I will have to throw up at any moment. To keep myself from becoming nauseated, I look outside the small rounded window only to find the darkness swallowing me. Even the fiery red sky above seems like a huge creature whose lashing rain and howling wind add more fear to my already sinking heart. After having a brief introduction with the Furies, I close the glass window to keep the white sprays of seawater from getting inside the cabin.
The ship begins to tilt, so I jump out of the bunker bed and switch the door knob to escape. It was jammed. The walls around me expand and contract, and the twisting metal produces a screeching sound that sends terror running up and down my spine. I hear loud thuds outside the cabin. Somebody shouted "maghanap na kayo ng mga life vest niyo lulubog na ang barko!" and it was followed by waves upon waves of screaming passengers that are being squeezed in the narrow corridor on the other side of my door. I lean my head against the wall and I can hear voices of children sobbing. Some are calling their mothers, who got separated from them when the stampede began. I also hear people begging the heavens to spare them the most tragic death, while others are already imploring the Virgin for a safe passage in the afterlife. In this ship run by greed, there is no escape. We will soon go down into our watery grave with a humble wish that the sea returns our bloated bodies to our dearly beloved.
The ship tilts more violently and I find myself pressed against the door. I hear a lady shouting "pesteng yawa kayo, huwag niyong tapakan ang nanay ko!" I do not know if her calls are heeded. In this state of utter helplessness, imagination plays a big role in seeing the drama going outside my cabin: People shoving and pushing one another for available space. Infants being crushed between two heaving bodies, and men fiercely fighting for any available life vest that their sweaty hands could reach. But there is no assurance that my mind doesn't play tricks on me. However, if there is one thing I am sure of, it is the feeling that no one in the corridor really gets to find the exit. They are all stuck there - and slowly - getting suffocated by the onslaught of more passengers trying to escape. The situation becomes too unbearable that some passes out without the person next to them ever noticing their slow but certain expiration.
Suddenly, the ship tilts on its other side and the door to my cabin swings open. Those unlucky ones directly outside tumbles into my room. The first slams her head against the glass window and now lay unconscious on the floor. Several others followed. The last one to fall grabs my shirt and drags me along with him. We roll down until we hit the unconscious woman who fell first. Using my remaining strength, I crawled my way up then squeezes myself among the passengers in the corridor. But Alas! I kept on being pushed back.
"Tangina mo nakikisiksik ka pa wala na ngang lugar dito," a guy said, while pulling back a passenger in front of him.
But like him, I am just trying to survive. Much as he will hate me for pushing myself in, the truth is there is really no way out.
Especially now that another big wave pounds the ship
and another,
and another,
Until the ship capsizes and begins to sink.
Now we are all pressed against one side of the ship. Another wave of panic ensues and those who are weak to move are trampled by passengers who are desperately trying to find the exit. Those who find it insist on staying inside the vessel. They say that instant death awaits those who will dare to dive into the murky waters which is already finding its way inside the ship.
Next to me is a young guy about my age. He looks at me with his weary eyes and then smiled before composing a text message on his mobile phone.
He was not able to send it.
Suddenly the lights went out as the Captain finally sounds the complete evacuation of the ship. Pandemonium now falls on everyone. Someone screams that water has already swallowed several decks below. Children are now crying loudly while the adults babble incoherent words while their eyes - their stunned eyes fixes at the nearest object - human or otherwise before it too freezes, like their cold, empty bodies.
I close my eyes for one last time to shun the voices I hear around me.
While bodies on top of me makes it harder and harder to breathe.
Despite my imminent passing, I try my best not to think that this is the end.
But the truth is, it is the end for them...
---
I open my eyes again and find myself back in front of the computer screen. I pause for a second to gather my thoughts - my deep, troubled feelings as the screams of people inside my head are now being subdued by my inner peace.
In the jet black darkness of my room, I took out a single matchstick inside the matchbox to light a candle I placed earlier near the keyboard.
In remembering all the victims of the sea tragedy.
I began praying in hopes that their souls find peace in the depths of the abyss.
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