"Nasaan na yung mga kasama mo?" I asked Danton after I have returned from the washroom.
He did not answer my question. Instead, he just smiled, raised his two hands upward and made a "no" gesture with his head. I understood what he meant. After all, he went all the way to Club Government alone to seal the deal with its management for this year's Pride March that will be held in front of the club a few weeks from now.
I noticed that his gaze pinned at a group of revelers near the ledge. He seemed jealous at how they strut themselves like the world was theirs for the taking. Danton then asked me if I would go back to the ledge.
"Perhaps, maybe."
Then I saw Dabo swaying his arms and moving his hips, as if trying to copy what Jiban was doing. The dance space beside him was large enough to accommodate two people without the risk of bumping into another clubber.
"Tara dun tayo sir." Before he could say yes to my suggestion, I took his hand and brought him where the party was.
He did not answer my question. Instead, he just smiled, raised his two hands upward and made a "no" gesture with his head. I understood what he meant. After all, he went all the way to Club Government alone to seal the deal with its management for this year's Pride March that will be held in front of the club a few weeks from now.
I noticed that his gaze pinned at a group of revelers near the ledge. He seemed jealous at how they strut themselves like the world was theirs for the taking. Danton then asked me if I would go back to the ledge.
"Perhaps, maybe."
Then I saw Dabo swaying his arms and moving his hips, as if trying to copy what Jiban was doing. The dance space beside him was large enough to accommodate two people without the risk of bumping into another clubber.
"Tara dun tayo sir." Before he could say yes to my suggestion, I took his hand and brought him where the party was.
---
That night, not only did I become a dancer, I also served as a tour guide for the congressman, who admitted that it was his first time at Government. Occasionally, some drunken loser would bump into Danton so also had to look after his back and push away those ingrate faggots, who might not be aware of the VIP they were pushing.
Some guests, perhaps as young as a 21 year old would look at Danton, recall where they have seen his face, and like a spark on a cigarette lighter, would wave at him and acknowledge his presence.
Some guests, perhaps as young as a 21 year old would look at Danton, recall where they have seen his face, and like a spark on a cigarette lighter, would wave at him and acknowledge his presence.
"Grabe kilala nila ako." Danton would say, blushing at the exposure he was getting.
And it was the beginning of a long night, where we were able to get to know Danton Remoto up close and personal. We were at the heart of the party and talking about politics was out of the question. Instead, he had fun sharing his fascinations with men. On the ledge were good-looking men of different ages grinding their torsos in a wavy and spontaneous motion. Some of these dancers took off their shirts revealing their well-developed and not-so-well-developed chests and abs for the crowd to behold.
These exhibitionists have been showing off their bodies for ages and their confident attitude is what sets them apart from those who are just contented to watch them sweat for everyone. Had Danton been to Adonis or other gay bars in Quezon City, he would now have an idea between a paid macho dancer performing on stage to a clubber busting his moves on the ledge.
The former do it for money, while the latter do it for sheer pleasure.
Both do it for entertainment.
The former do it for money, while the latter do it for sheer pleasure.
Both do it for entertainment.
---
It was already past three in the morning. The crowd was still charged-up and waiting for DJ Bam Del Valle to play the next Diva Anthem on his play list. Jiban's sensual moves, which attracted the crowd's fascination earlier has now inspired everyone in the dance floor that it seems like the party will indeed "bring the house down." His energy was so contagious that even Danton Remoto remarked that his moves were more eye catching than all the naked, muscular men dancing on the ledge combined.
Jiban of course, did not hear our conversation. He was so busy expressing himself, that he didn't even notice the people watching him. To set things straight, he was so smooth, but he knew his limits. No matter how I prodded him to go up in the ledge or take off his shirt like the others did, he firmly said no.
Going back to Danton, I have always pictured him as a flamboyant, witty, and very intellectual gentleman, who is always there to defend my brethren in front of the press. I expected him to act formal and somewhat distant, knowing that he has a reputation to keep in public. Yet at Club Government, he showed us otherwise. As he tried in vain to groove to what the young men understood as freelance dancing, I could not help but express my fascination in his attempts to blend in with everyone. "Express yourself the way you want to be," I encouraged him. Tired of copying everyones moves, he showed to me and Dabo how they danced during the eighties. "Just move your feet here and there, roll your hands before letting your right hand float in the air and let your finger point to an imaginary disco ball" He taught us. "Your party is so tamed, you know that?"
And our party was still tame huh... I wonder if he would still say the same once he sees men kissing one another and making out on the dance floor of Che'lu.
My tropa, which included Tripper, HB and their friend Roy may not be as fab and loud like the other groups that were in Government that night. But to see Danton Remoto enjoying our company and choosing to stay with us rather than to mingle with others who would enjoy his presence more is I think the greatest honor we received. For all the times he has been a stubborn fighter and a staunch defender of Gay and Lesbian rights, only few would have been given the opportunity to know what's on his mind, his fascinations and his plans for the future.
And what's so astonishing about it is that he shared them to men who were just beginning to come into terms with their sexuality in public.
"Alam mo ba sir, may nagtanong na guy sa akin kanina kung straight daw ba ako?" And what's so astonishing about it is that he shared them to men who were just beginning to come into terms with their sexuality in public.
"Talaga, ano sabi mo?"
"Hindi. Sabi niya sa akin straight daw siya. Rolleyes na nga lang ako."
"Pero alam mo sir, uso na ngayon yun. Mga may asawa o kaya girlfriend, lalaking lalaki pero dahil lang sa internet nagsimulang maglandi sa kapwa nila lalaki."
"Ay correct ka diyan, marami ngang gusto makipag-meet sa akin puro mga may asawa eh."
"I wonder what's your generation looks like sir."
"Very different from yours. I assure you, puro noon effem."
---
There was a time when I avoided effeminates out of fear that I would become one of them or that they would out me in public. Time had allowed me to gradually blend with these men, without compromising my natural inclination to remain masculine. Sometimes, the old repulsion creeps back, especially in very tense sexual conditions. But the more I grow and understand my preference, the more I begin to see that there is no difference among labels,
Meeting the esteemed congressman had made me appreciate what the Odders once said about "Unity in Diversity."
Effeminates and Masculines may have two distinct voices, but will always be one in spirit.
Meeting the esteemed congressman had made me appreciate what the Odders once said about "Unity in Diversity."
Effeminates and Masculines may have two distinct voices, but will always be one in spirit.
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