Note: This entry was written on the week of my dad's second death anniversary. The dream really took place, and I wrote every detail that I remembered the moment I got out of bed to face the computer screen. This entry marks a turning point, for as the blog bore witness months before his passing, we never saw each other eye to eye.
Father's Day has no relevance for me anymore. I don't have a dad that I can greet today. However, when Trey, Centurion and Odin sent their greetings on my blog's Cbox this morning, I felt compelled to look back and remember how we found peace at the borders of earth and the afterlife one night.
After this dream, dad never appeared in my sleep anymore. The dream also stirred my muses who inspired me to write a five-entry tribute to my dad, and how our lives intertwined during my final approach towards the threshold of adulthood.
There are times I still miss my dad, and long for the security he had given us now that I see myself being the man of the house. Many things have changed and many mistakes are now forgiven.
Looking back, the little voice inside my head was right when he gently whispered that in the long course of our brief lives, only love can endure the distance of space and the infinity of time.
Happy Father's Day to your dads.
Father's Day has no relevance for me anymore. I don't have a dad that I can greet today. However, when Trey, Centurion and Odin sent their greetings on my blog's Cbox this morning, I felt compelled to look back and remember how we found peace at the borders of earth and the afterlife one night.
After this dream, dad never appeared in my sleep anymore. The dream also stirred my muses who inspired me to write a five-entry tribute to my dad, and how our lives intertwined during my final approach towards the threshold of adulthood.
There are times I still miss my dad, and long for the security he had given us now that I see myself being the man of the house. Many things have changed and many mistakes are now forgiven.
Looking back, the little voice inside my head was right when he gently whispered that in the long course of our brief lives, only love can endure the distance of space and the infinity of time.
Happy Father's Day to your dads.
---
Dear Dad,
The last time you appeared to me, we were both sleeping in one bed. Then you woke up, got up and without even speaking you straightened the sheets before you left. When I told this to everyone, they said that finally, our hostile relations are already thawing up for you never straightened bedsheets in your entire life.
Almost two years had passed and then suddenly we met again. This time, I was browsing some novels with Chinese characters in a bookstore. As I gently unwrapped the plastic cover in one of the books to check its contents, I saw you walking in one of the aisles. You were wearing a large grey shirt, your pants I could not remember. You're standing there looking at me.
Without saying a word, I ran towards you and hugged you very tight. It was a long, longing hug that I've been missing since you left. We also had a conversation, which I could not remember anymore. Perhaps, there were things you wanted to clear up, and I am certain we had an understanding. You may have some messages to everyone, but unfortunately, I was too overwhelmed by my regrets - of the years I showed you coldness and indifference that I forgot to remember your last words when I woke up.
However, those things don't matter anymore, for I believe that I have expressed to you my innermost feelings. When I woke up this morning, I could still remember your warm smile that was full of enthusiasm when we saw each other and how you told me never to tell anyone that we met, before you left.
I wanted to keep my mouth shut about the whole meeting, if not for the emptiness I am feeling right now.
But you know what, the moment I saw your familiar face - that big acne-punctured face of yours and that big, black rimmed eyeglasses that had become you, after two years of absence; the moment I ran towards you to give you a hug I've been longing to give; and the moment I remembered that warm smile of yours that melted the last icy walls the separated us.
I know, all the bitter things between us are finally over.
Because I woke up crying... for the first time after you passed away.
I remember you this Father's Day.
I love you very much dad.
The last time you appeared to me, we were both sleeping in one bed. Then you woke up, got up and without even speaking you straightened the sheets before you left. When I told this to everyone, they said that finally, our hostile relations are already thawing up for you never straightened bedsheets in your entire life.
Almost two years had passed and then suddenly we met again. This time, I was browsing some novels with Chinese characters in a bookstore. As I gently unwrapped the plastic cover in one of the books to check its contents, I saw you walking in one of the aisles. You were wearing a large grey shirt, your pants I could not remember. You're standing there looking at me.
Without saying a word, I ran towards you and hugged you very tight. It was a long, longing hug that I've been missing since you left. We also had a conversation, which I could not remember anymore. Perhaps, there were things you wanted to clear up, and I am certain we had an understanding. You may have some messages to everyone, but unfortunately, I was too overwhelmed by my regrets - of the years I showed you coldness and indifference that I forgot to remember your last words when I woke up.
However, those things don't matter anymore, for I believe that I have expressed to you my innermost feelings. When I woke up this morning, I could still remember your warm smile that was full of enthusiasm when we saw each other and how you told me never to tell anyone that we met, before you left.
I wanted to keep my mouth shut about the whole meeting, if not for the emptiness I am feeling right now.
But you know what, the moment I saw your familiar face - that big acne-punctured face of yours and that big, black rimmed eyeglasses that had become you, after two years of absence; the moment I ran towards you to give you a hug I've been longing to give; and the moment I remembered that warm smile of yours that melted the last icy walls the separated us.
I know, all the bitter things between us are finally over.
Because I woke up crying... for the first time after you passed away.
I remember you this Father's Day.
I love you very much dad.
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